Viking River Cruises review: Caveat emptor - all that glitters is not gold

My expectations were very high - mostly due to the extraordinary advertising via television (I became enamored with Viking during Downton Abbey), the glossy and expensive magazine brochures that we received almost monthly, as well as online advertisement. For 15 years, a Viking River Cruise was number one on my bucket list. We cleaned out a retirement account to afford such a luxurious gift to ourselves. So, I honestly don't know if my rather severe disappointment is because of those high expectations, or were my high expectations simply a result of the enticing advertisements which were not lived up to by any means?

The bottom line is this, we spent a LOT of money and were disappointed with nearly every aspect of this cruise and cruise line.

I'll break it down into categories for you.

Air travel arranged by Viking. Horrible! They had our passport information, yet did not book our flights under the names on our passports (omitted our middle names). To "correct" their mistake, I had to fork out an additional $1,000 (I do have to say, initially it was $2,000, but I screamed loudly enough that Viking gave me a break). In addition, our very, very long flight from the US to Europe (I will never fly Swiss Air again) was spent in the most cramped seats we have ever experienced in our lives. It was even smaller and tighter than the puddle-jumpers we have flown on in the past. I cannot begin to tell you how miserable we were on that 9 hour flight, and will never understand why Viking did not AT THE VERY LEAST provide us with Comfort Economy seats. Horrible, terrible, no good, very bad start to our dream vacation. Additionally, after the mishap with having to correct our names for our flight tickets, I called the airline it had been booked through to find out why on earth they would charge additional fees for a simple name correction two weeks before our flight even left. I was told that they did NOT charge for such things. I then notified Viking of my findings, and they ended up upgrading our beverage package to the "Silver" option to calm me down. So I suppose the name mistake fiasco only cost me about $600 in the end. However, we were very, very disappointed in the bar services on Viking despite that Silver package. Mixologists they are not. And one of the bartenders was quite rude.

Pre-cruise extension. Nice hotel with close proximity to boat docking. The weather during our stay was warm and muggy, but the hotel did not have air conditioning, stating that it was "turned off during winter months". WHAT? It was early October! Needless to say, our two nights there were not exactly comfortable (which we only did to acclimate to the time change, as well as to avoid the potential of missing the boat if flights were delayed). I will say that the bar service was exceptional - tasty and creative cocktails, which I fully expected on the Viking boat. Food was mediocre. Spa services also quite good at the hotel.

Cabin on ship. Granted, we did not splurge for a cabin with a deck, but couldn't our window have been a little bigger? Let's just say that our cabin was very reminiscent of our RV. I fully expected luxurious, comfy bedding. Do not expect that. The bed was as hard as a rock. Viking did, however, provide me with a mattress topper to soften the experience, though it was not what they described in their advertisements at all. Oh, and the bath towels were rough and scratchy! Not luxurious in any sense of the word. The cabin staff were wonderful though, and kept everything neat and clean at all times.

Food on board. Just okay. I will say this, if it had been a restaurant, I would not have gone back. I suppose I am rather picky, because I am a very, very good cook. I guess I expected Viking to provide a better chef than myself. Being sold as a "romantic" cruise, I would have expected some tables just for two, but they were large tables that did not lend to romance in any way whatsoever. And if you are an introvert at all, be aware that you will be forced to interact with strangers at every meal. Don't get me wrong, the other guests were wonderful, and a pleasure to get to know. But it would have been nice to have a quiet, romantic meal with my spouse on occasion rather than every. single. meal. being a social event. And the outdoor "terrace"? Tiny - cramped.

Shore excursions. This category created the most disappointment of all. The advertisement leads you to believe you will experience the beautiful edifices you signed up to see. Not so - unless you are satisfied with merely standing outside of the edifice with a large group of people, only hearing about what is inside those buildings along with historical facts and occasional jokes, but not being allowed to go inside them. Sorry, not included! Of course, we could try to do that on our own and pay the entrance fees and manage getting there somehow, etc., but not much time allowed for that. I had expected to see castles and cathedrals, both inside and out, but for the most part, no, not included. But they will tell you about it as you stand in one place looking longingly at what you came to see. The excursions that were included would be better spent exploring on your own, purchasing entrance tickets out of pocket. BUT - purchase those tickets in advance, because when you get there it will be too late. They will be sold out. I wish Viking had told us that. I am telling you now, and hope it helps you. The additional excursions that you had to pay extra for, and let me say, they were not cheap - were hit or miss. If they included a meal, it was almost cafeteria style, limited menu and simply not good. I mean, really not good. Oh, and we spent almost more time on the bus than we did at the destinations.

The one shore excursion that was absolutely the highlight was in Krems - the Gottweig Abbey. Absolutely breathtaking. BUT. We only spent one short morning in Krems. No time whatsoever to meander through this charming village. So, the best part of the cruise was the most limited as far as time.

It really did leave us scratching our heads at how such an incredibly expensive cruise would nickel and dime you to death on "optional shore excursions" that truly should have been included!

I could write a short book on the merits of each shore excursion that we experienced, but this should be enough for now to advise future travelers.

On board entertainment/services. Almost non-existent. The "curated library" is nothing more than a book shelf. The evening musical entertainment, when it was offered, was definitely very good. The cruise director, Mario, was a saving grace for the ship. He was kind, funny, entertaining, informative, and frankly, the poor man must have been exhausted. He was everywhere, all the time. This cruise was not designed for staying on the ship. Not at all. In fact, it is designed to make you want to get off at every opportunity. Sorry to be so harsh, but a nice spa on board would have gone a long way.

If anyone from Viking ever reads this review, I sincerely hope you take it as constructive criticism. You have so much potential to be better. If you only lived up to the way you advertise, it would be an extraordinary adventure. I used to run a B&B, and always downplayed the entire experience on any advertising. The result? My guests were more than thrilled to discover that what we offered was way beyond their expectations - from the beauty of the place to the comfort and luxury provided, for the food and amenities. But then again, if you advertised the way it really is, it may never have even made it to my bucket list. Advice to Viking - spend more of your profit on creating that experience you advertise, rather on the advertising itself, which is misleading (in the kindest way I can express it).