British Airways are ###! And so are most of their staff!
I write this article as I sit some way above the rest of you my equally passionate readers!
Well, without further ado let us begin. It starts with a journey, a journey that was intended
to involve some serious reading, writing and laughing. This fabulous looking trip was looking
very attractive indeed, that is until British Airways (The nations darling emporium of
huge rip off fares with ### northern staff) decided my journey was one not worth investing
some customer service skills in! Now as my laptop dies for no other reason that they
simply will not power it in the last section of the plane I seek solstice in the fact that the
typewriter will have the last say. Now lets start with Michael a balding middle aged fat looking
northerner with all the charms of herpes and a good worming, when asked where the
laptop charging point was he decided of his own accord to inform half the plane that BA
have never provided this service to passengers in eco-nomy (ignorantus massivus), followed
by the fattest looking man with an equal amount of manners as he was hairy on his
very cold, shiny looking head. Andrew (aka Useless ###!) happened to be the customer service director (now that is getting close to your customers, every director I know would not want to be on this trip
with his customers), this is a man who after 3 minutes of being told about the rude manners
his staff use to communicate with members of the paying public (also known as customers
and providers of food, money, clothes, housing etc for the often deluded staff) replied
with the fact that he had been with me too long, I guess his pager had been buzzing
his bollocks off to bring someone a serving of swan up the front end of the plane. Andrew
Manning was not to pleased to hear that American Airlines (I prefer United) supply power
points to all customers, he soon left after reminding me that the option of moving to a position
where I could actually power my laptop no longer exists, and guess what, surprise,
surprise!!! This all stopped 2 weeks ago along with the ability to buy champagne or get a
vegan meal however the ### are quick enough to get you to buy branded BA ### and
duty free, well ### off Iʼm never flying with you ### again, you can join the long list of
disappointing service providers hiding behind the british flag.
Jeremy Clarkson is right, if you need to go somewhere just drive! Even if it is the other side
of the world (and you can smoke yourself to death in your own car). Anyway my laptop is
about to die and with no sign of a power point for the next 10 hours and no ### or Champagne
this looks like to end of air travel as being fast, convenient and the only way to
travel, Iʼd rather walk!
PS, guess which weekly columnist forgot his I-Pod arrrgh!!!