T-Mobile / customer loyalty joke

Los Angeles, CA, United States

T-mobile "lesson" in how to engender loyalty ! Or - how to cut off your nose to spite your face !. Please enjoy.
(1) be a customer for 7+ years on a family plan with 5 phones.
(2) keep some of the same phones for 7+ years. (Bricks; balance on data)
(A) have auto-pay for all the years.
(3) have 1 phone finally wear out.
(4) go into store and ask for a replacement phone - without charge.
(5) and then be treated with:
(A) distain
(B) dismissive non-interest
(C) 5 "levels" of identical refusal language
(D) gleeful - you have to pay more, more, more !!
(6) loyalty is to be rewarded:
(A) sign new 2 year contract before any "help"
(B) buy a new brick for $80 !!
(7) force you to wait in store for "manager"
(8) send you onto their phone to "customer service" - for the literal same language as store staff & store manager.
(9) oh, 7 years, then you have to go to "loyalty" service
(10) wait, like an obedient servant for the loyalty guy to "help" - but, of course, with the literal same language as store staff;
(11) indicate dissatisfaction with situation - and be sweet-talked: oh, the loyalty supervisor (Lord high poobah) is the one who can in fact help you.
(12) obediently wait some more for the loyalty poobah to "help" - but, of course, with the literal same language as everyone before!!
(13) lucky t-mobile has earned the loyalty of this obedient servant - with new 5 phones at verizon !!
But of course, when we went through the number transfer - t-mobile then wanted to shunt me to a "special offers / incentives" "specialist" to induce me to stay !! Clever, aren't they.

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