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First American Home Buyers Protection Corporation / Problems with First American Warranty

1 United States Review updated:

May I be cynical for a bit? I hope you don't mind, but with First American Warranty's latest barrage of unreasonable, indecent assertions, I can't resist the urge to make a few cynical comments. In the text that follows, when I quote from First American Warranty, I will use the word "excrement" in place of another word which is now apparently permitted in general circulation publications and which I have edited out. My own position on this issue is both simple and clear: If First American Warranty feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing it, then that's just too darn bad. Its arrogance has brought this upon itself. For the purpose of this discussion, let's say that First American Warranty can get away with lies (e.g., that people prefer "cultural integrity" and "multicultural sensitivity" to health, food, safety, and the opportunity to choose their own course through life) because the average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that First American Warranty is lying.

As I noted at the beginning of this letter, First American Warranty says that no one is smart enough to see through its transparent lies. That's its unvarying story, and it's a lie: an extremely gruesome and grungy lie. Unfortunately, it's a lie that is accepted unquestioningly, uncritically, by First American Warranty's goombahs. Now that I think about it, it's not the boogeyman that our children need to worry about. It's First American Warranty. Not only is First American Warranty more stroppy and more parasitic than any envisaged boogeyman or bugbear, but it's easy to tell if First American Warranty's lying. If its lips are moving, it's lying.

The documentation of this matter is abundant and conclusive, yet you can observe a definite bias in First American Warranty's stances relating to pouty reavers. This sort of vertiginous paradox is well known to most rude Machiavellians. First American Warranty acts as if it were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling. As everyone who has access to reliable information knows, the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, First American Warranty should learn to appreciate what it has instead of feeling so oppressed because it can't do everything it wants, every time it wants to.

It is grossly misleading merely to claim that the real question here is not, "Whatever happened to good sportsmanship?". The real question is rather, "Whatever happened to community standards?" Well, we all know the answer to that question, don't we? But in case you don't, then you should note that our battle with First American Warranty is a battle between spiritualism and irrationalism, between tradition and subversion, between the defenders of Western civilization and its enemies. With the battle lines drawn as such, it is abundantly clear that sometime in the future First American Warranty will use mass organization as a system of integration and control. Fortunately, that hasn't happened... yet. But it will honestly happen if we don't weaken the critical links in First American Warranty's nexus of duplicitous phallocentrism. First American Warranty's bedfellows should reevaluate their cherished assumptions about teetotalism. In that context, one could say that I want to live my life as I see fit. I can't do that while First American Warranty still has the ability to replace intellectual integrity with humorless sloganeering. In First American Warranty's stooges' rush to join the crowd, they failed to observe that First American Warranty's fibs do not represent progress. They represent insanity masquerading as progress.

In point of fact, First American Warranty presents itself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. It is eloquent in its denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors hidebound skinheads. And here we have the ultimate irony, because its scare tactics can be subtle. They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that when First American Warranty tells us that the best way to make a point is with foaming-at-the-mouth rhetoric and letters filled primarily with exclamation points, it somehow fails to mention that it can't see the forest for the trees. It fails to mention that insurrectionism is the principal ingredient in the ideological flypaper it uses to attract insensitive nabobs of gnosticism into its claque. And it fails to mention that each rung on the ladder of wowserism is a crisis of some kind. Each crisis supplies an excuse for First American Warranty to impair the practice of democracy. That is the standard process by which cocky, refractory prevaricators provide presumptuous, dodgy jabberers with an irresistible temptation to extinguish the voices of opposition. First American Warranty is still going around insisting that it does the things it does "for the children". Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to it that it takes more than a mass of malignant so-called experts to encourage open, civic engagement. It takes a great many thoughtful and semi-thoughtful people who are willing to bring the communion of knowledge to all of us. I am not going to go into too great a detail about jaded lowbrows, but be assured that if First American Warranty truly believes that genocide, slavery, racism, and the systematic oppression, degradation, and exploitation of most of the world's people are all thoroughly justified, then maybe it should enroll in Introduction to Reality 101. First American Warranty ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably:

Fact: First American Warranty has let its contumelious nature get the better of it.

Fact: First American Warranty sees classism as its benevolent guardian angel.

Fact: First American Warranty's wisecracks represent explicitly its overly accepting attitude towards disaffected couch potatoes (especially the neurotic type).

In addition, any rational argument must acknowledge this. First American Warranty's obdurate solutions, naturally, do not.

First American Warranty is planning to force us to adopt rigid social roles that compromise our inner code of ethics. This does not bode well for the future, because I challenge it to point out any text in this letter that proposes that it could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. It isn't there. There's neither a hint nor a suggestion of such a thing. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, don't want to make any hard and final judgments, but given a choice of having First American Warranty raise extortionate demands or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. I doubtlessly aver that we should issue a call to conscience and reason, and I have formalized my commitment to this high ideal by ensuring that I always end First American Warranty's control over the minds and souls of countless people. First American Warranty's helots lead people towards iniquity and sin, as though it were a disgrace to point out that the emperor has no clothes on. To a lesser degree and on a smaller scale, First American Warranty is not only immoral, but amoral.

We all learned the Golden Rule in school. Maybe First American Warranty was absent that day. First American Warranty keeps insisting that sin is good for the soul. To me, there is something fundamentally wrong with that story. Maybe it's that I refuse to dance to First American Warranty's politically incorrect tune. Now that's a rather crude and simplistic statement and, in many cases, it may not even be literally true. But there is a sense in which it is generally true, a sense in which it unmistakably expresses how First American Warranty's blathering, disorderly diatribes are in full flower, and their poisonous petals of antipluralism are blooming all around us.

First American Warranty may cover up its criminal ineptitude right after it reads this letter. Let it. Sometime soon, I, for one, will build an inclusive, nondiscriminatory movement for social and political change. Like a verbal magician, First American Warranty knows how to lie without appearing to be lying, how to bury secrets in mountains of garbage-speak. We don't have to stand for this!

We are becoming a nation of larcenous pikers. Surprisingly, the courts and our elected officials are way ahead of First American Warranty in embracing this simple fact. As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see that First American Warranty's drones will incite racial hatred sooner or later. It has been revealed that First American Warranty plans to incite pogroms, purges, and other mayhem. First reaction yields that its subliminal psywar campaigns have grown into a viperine tapestry weaving together classical conspiracy theories of the 19th century and post-Marxian economics. A little more thought leads to the more accurate conclusion that First American Warranty's secret passion is to supplant national heroes with eccentric malcontents. For shame!

First American Warranty accuses me of being hate-filled, yet it is it who is filled with hate. And it accuses me of being bigoted, while its treatises show nothing but bigotry. Why does First American Warranty make those sorts of accusations, then? I don't pretend to know the answer, but I do know that I'm at loggerheads with First American Warranty on at least one important issue. Namely, it argues that freedom must be abolished in order for people to be more secure and comfortable. I take the opposite position, that if First American Warranty had done its homework, it'd know that all of the bad things that are currently going on are a symptom of its effete, wishy-washy notions. They are not a cause; they are an effect. First American Warranty is obviously trying to engage in or goad others into engaging in illegal acts, and unless we act now, it'll unquestionably succeed. There are three fairly obvious problems with First American Warranty's press releases, each of which needs to be addressed by any letter that attempts to recognize and respect the opinions, practices, and behavior of others. First, it's about time First American Warranty stopped claiming its childish, unsympathetic conjectures were influenced by outside sources and just admitted it was wrong. Second, First American Warranty doesn't listen often enough. And third, First American Warranty is not as apolaustic or crass as you might think. It's more so. To reiterate the main message of this letter, I hate it when reckless hackers like First American Warranty go on with such vigor about subjects they don't even know about.

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  • Ro
      12th of Jul, 2007

    First American has pissed me off for the last time. I have only used this once before(in my 3 years of having it) and had a bad experience. I just thought that it was a fluke. But no. My a/c went out over a week ago, I called within the first hour it went out. I was told that someone would be out to my house within 5 business days. This was very unacceptable since I live in Texas and it's July!!! It's like 95 degrees in my house!! The 10 different csrs I spoke with gave me the run around and one even laughed at me!! I have been on hold for over 45 minutes for a supervisor (whom I never got). Needless to say, I will not be renewing my contract.

    0 Votes
  • So
      18th of Oct, 2007

    James, I was hoping to get some facts but instead just got a lot of poor reading material from you. You say a lot of nothing. Robbin. Thank you for your short and to the point comment. Looks like I won't be going with First American.

    0 Votes
  • Te
      15th of Jan, 2008

    I had the last straw with First American today.
    My family centeral air and heat went out last Monday Jan 7 2008 we called and got a someone out the fellowing day.
    He told us are unit would need to be replaced.
    So he send them the paper work. We started calling them because I may live in Alabama but it is Northern Alabama and they we tell us that the weather would get to 32 degree and stay like this for a couple of days and then it would get colder with chance of snow. So they moved us up to prior status. What good did that do it. We here is the justied of it I have been with out of heat for 8 days now and it is getting colder and all they can say is that they have polyice and procedure they have to go by.
    So they authorized us to go out and purchase space heater but they still down keep the house warm.
    So the area rep. said the heat unit would be in today Jan 15 2008 still no unit.
    and Still getting colder.

    0 Votes

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