While I can sympathize with your situation, I am confused by some of your story.
You mentioned that your note was not due until September 28, but you called on September 22nd. Was the payment due on the 28th, or was that including your "grace period" before the late fee was taked on. In other words, was your September payment due on September 18th, but charged a late fee after the 28th?
The reason I ask this is you go on to state that on October 15th you received a call stating among other things, that your October payment was now due. The only way for those dates to add up is if you car payment is due before the 15th of the month.
If that's the case, then they probably should not have granted the initial offer to defer the payment since it was late, but the fact of the matter is is that it was still already late by the time of your initial call, right?