Cougarlife.com — Boooo!!!!!
I have been a "cougar" (paying member) on this site for three months and have met a lot of young men from it. I agree that most are looking for nsa relationships. The definition of a cougar is usually an older, attractive woman looking for an nsa relationship. Therefore, these young men assume that the cougar sites are a means to having sex with someone more experienced without the "drama" afterward. All the men that I have dated have been gentlemen and I never at any time felt pressure from them to engage in sex. Nevertheless, I have. Many of the men I have sex with never contact me again A few keep in touch and we see each other maybe one or two more times. Much of this has to do with the fact that these men ARE young and very self-centered (by this I mean focused on their lives). It is very hard to find a young man who is ready for a long-term commitment and I accept that going into any date. This is not exclusive to a cougar site. Ive had many young men on a non-cougar site also contact me with the same expectations. It is true that the defintion of a cub is usually someone who engages in a relationship with an older woman for a period of time until the excitement for both of them runs out (ie., proverbally "boy toy"). Many of the "cubs" on cougarlife.com talk about their interests but doing activities together never materializes. To an extent, the cougar, who has the advantage because she is wanted, can shape the dynamics. If she insists on doing an activity, being wined and dined, etc. this is sending a message that we are more than just one-night stands or an experiment, but mature, sophisticated women who deserve respect. Decide what your standards are and stick to them. For example, I dont like crude or lude remarks, but I do enjoy flirting and innuendo. If a cub doesnt present a picture or profile, I dont even respond. I insist on chatting with a cub before I will grant them access to my private gallery or agree to date him. (I wish cougarlife.com provided a way to chat onsite as many others do.) Some scam artists are easy to point out and I report my suspicions immediately. If we each do that we will clean the site up for all of us. All sites have scam artists. Its the nature of the venue, unfortunately. I have found that a good way to separate the "wheat from the shaft" is to chat with them a bit. If they seem only interested in naughty pictures, talking exclusively and explicitly about sex, ask to see you on camera (whether or not they do the same) and then ask you to remove clothing or perform a sexual act, show you explicit photos of themselves without your requesting it, chat in a manner inconsistent for their age, express excessive devotion or a desire for a commitment after just meeting, consistently express a desire to meet but then always having scheduling conflicts, I immediately become suspicious. Yes, there are a lot of obstacles and, yes, each has happened to me multiple times but I have had many enjoyable enccounters. If you are looking to experience intimacy and physical pleasure, then a site like cougarlife.com is a great venue for finding this. My dates have all been interesting and have involved good conversation as well as sex. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship with a young man, I cant say you wont find it on this site but it is unlikely -- just as it is unlikely to find this anywhere else.
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