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Find A Grave Complaints 83

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7:05 pm EDT

Find A Grave Online memorial

I have found this site to be very very poor, I had created an account and memorials for loved ones I wished remembered. After a while, behaviour from members on the site concerned and worried me, as some members were at times rude or aggressive towards me and each other for no apparent reason. I decided to remove my memorials and account which I proceeded to do and be done with the site and leave the mad hatters to it as I have no time for these ego trips.

Only to discover to my horror having been told weeks later, Find a Grave had re-instated some of my memorials and given their ownership to complete strangers who had been rude / aggressive towards me but kept my bio's AND photographs. I have contacted the site multiple times and been ignored, I think its time Google stopped endorsing them on its search engine for genealogy as it falls far below the mark on that too. I have seen some people on there with good intensions who want to remember loved ones and record them but others who seem well almost power mad? which is odd to me personally.

I would finally add, that the government in the companies native US needs to take some action; against this madness. I am horrified and hurt my memorials were not able to be permanently deleted at my request but could be re-instated after being removed, at the request of online trolls, who did not even know them. Utterly appalling so do not let this happen to you or waste your time on this site! you won't be treated with respect. I sponsored many memorials of myself and other people and do not care about not getting the money back, it really does not matter. What does, is the double standard of listening to one person who has the admin ear's and ignoring the legitimate family member / creator / often sponsor of the memorial itself. I truly wish I had never ever seen this site. It is true what other people have said, the living have feelings and should be respected. I would also say to all those who so happily endorse the site and rebuff any criticism what so ever, if your loved ones memorials were taken, or created and things added/taken away or written that were not true or downright nasty I am sure 110% you would not be happy. Genealogy or not, were humans and we have emotion, to you it may just be a grave but to other people its the last expression of love to someone or do you just think there empty meaningless lumps of stone? honestly people enough is enough.

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TomMas777
US
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Jan 11, 2022 8:42 am EST

Uh, I received death threats on this site!

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Cindy2020
US
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Jan 27, 2019 6:11 pm EST

I totally agree, I was a member of find a grave for years. Poor and lazy management, deleted memorials without warning, blocked accounts for any complaint without even investigating. Also I was so much money sponsoring memorials giving that corrupt sight money.

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thisisauntakenusername
US
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Jan 08, 2019 2:57 am EST

May they all get the ligma
And have the ligma on their tomb stones in the future

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JaneElroy
US
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Nov 28, 2018 2:51 pm EST
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Did you read the site's policies? Once you add anything to the site (memorials, bios, photos, etc.), you have given them a transferable license to use the material as they deem appropriate.
Google doesn't "endorse" Find A Grave. It is a search engine so what you see is determined by the search terms you enter. Google isn't making any recommendations, just completing the search you requested, no more, no less.
Find A Grave isn't breaking the law. Everything they did was part of their Terms of Service. They can't "make" you read the Terms, Community Guidelines or Help section - it's up to the user to read "the manual".

ComplaintsBoard
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10:15 am EDT

Find A Grave memorials

There is a person named SILE, going through all the memorials on find a grave. THE person seems to think, that, in uploading all the various cemeteries online to find a grave..thats all that has to be done. HOWEVER, in doing that, you can submit the dead person's name, and it will still come up no one exists buried there UNTIL the cemetery updates their website, files, pages, records including the dead person's name. THE Obits I have had in hand, stating where folks are buried..yet, no matter what or when I reinvestigate, that persons name still comes up as not buried at such and such cemetery. UNTIL the cemetery records/files etc are updated, completely, properly..these folks will not exist..even though the cemetery is now online. I thought, creating a memorial, with the person's obits listed on it..would be helpful for folks to at least locate their loved ones, and take it from there. BUT, this person SILE on find a grave, seems to be harassing me today..on every stinking memorial I have created to the point..I deleted them all but 3..and this person SILE is still harassing me. Suggest find a grave put a muzzle on the person and hog tie their fingers.

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Piedpyper
US
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Feb 10, 2019 7:54 pm EST

If you can't find that a certain person has a memorial in a cemetery and an obituary in your possession shows they're buried there then you simply make a memorial and add them to the cemetery. Probably no one else is going to do it. I don't understand what the problem is.

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JaneElroy
US
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Nov 28, 2018 2:53 pm EST
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I don't understand your comment whatsoever. Find A Grave memorials have nothing to do with the websites owned by cemeteries.

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F
11:27 pm EDT

Find A Grave teresa s hony obituary

You have obituary and family completely wrong. I don't appreciate it. You all should not be allowed to publish false information.first off she died on disability from heart failure not liver failure. Second she has three kids and not the one you have listed the one you have listed just so happens to be my half brother on my father's side. Way to go.you better fix it or I will sue you. Her kids names are Lloyd Michael McKinney Jason Thomas McKinney and Heather mae McKinney Buckner.my phone number is [protected]

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Piedpyper
US
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Feb 10, 2019 7:56 pm EST

I feel like the first half of fishingchick's complaint didn't get included. Maybe then it would have made some kind of sense. Is this what the public school system is churning out?

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JaneElroy
US
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Nov 28, 2018 2:55 pm EST
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@Fishingchick79, on what basis are you going to sue? rolling on the floor...

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Trader2
US
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Jul 13, 2019 11:51 pm EDT
Replying to comment of JaneElroy

Libel

False information in print that causes emotional injury.

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Elizabeth Olmstead
US
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Jul 14, 2019 12:57 am EDT
Replying to comment of Trader2

I don't know who you or how you got my email address. But I want you to know that I have NO IDEA what you are ranting at me about. You need to get a life and keep away from me.
Rudeness is ugly just like jealousy.

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Elizabeth Olmstead
US
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Jul 14, 2019 1:44 am EDT
Replying to comment of Elizabeth Olmstead

And cyber stalking is a criminal offensr

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JaneElroy
US
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Aug 17, 2019 8:29 am EDT
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Replying to comment of Trader2

@Trader2, there are very simple steps Fishingchick79 could take to get the errors corrected. Posting a complaint on a non-related website isn't one of them.

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Eliz Olmstead
US
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May 06, 2018 10:54 am EDT
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Hey, I do have a lawyer and have sought to sue several authors who have me family all screwed.

They list my mother as a male named Clyde, they list totally incorrect surnames, they list all of my great grannys children as belonging to a couple who was way yon too old.

NOTHING CAN BE DONE. GET OVER YOUR RAVINGS.
LAWYERS NOT PUBLIC COURT ARE SIMPLY NOT INTERESTED.

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12:41 pm EDT
Verified customer The reviewer confirmed their account using Google. Learn more

Find A Grave misrepresentation

Find A Grave technically supposed to be a site where people can remember their departed without a lot of hassle. The problem: By making a memorial you are opening yourself up to non family members (usually bored housewives) who make it their business to criticize your site, claiming the info you have is inaccurate and theirs is. If you tell these people to mind their own business you generally are banned from "Find A Grave." Because these "bored non relatives" are cemetery ghouls. Their whole lives evolve around who can make the most memorials on Find A Grave & get brownie points for doing it. Frankly I find the graveyard ghouls annoying if not disrespectful. Family members do not make memorials for their deceased only to be victims of the cemetery ghoul squad - constantly finding fault/.

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Brian Ensley
US
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Dec 13, 2019 6:58 am EST

Yes, these complaints are legitimate. I've been working with Find-A-Grave for years and was consistently in their top tier of contributors. But I've found that since Ancestry took over, they are more interested in getting the information you submit to "link" to Ancestry in order to make their site look more enticing and get people to pay the $160 (or more) annual fee, using YOUR copyrighted photos. And when you e-mail [censored] with any complaints, they either ignore the e-mail or send a "canned" response. If you persist and e-mail too much, you're blacklisted. But they'll still happily accept your research. Their customer service has gone downhill drastically. And YES- I've had a similar situation where there was obviously wrong information and they didn't care and kept that erroneous information, rather than take the time to research the real information and change it. Any "bothering" them is frowned upon and this site just sucks up your hard work and in return gives horrible customer service.

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Piedpyper
US
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Feb 05, 2019 1:29 am EST

Are these complaints for real? It looks like the same nut wrote most of them using different names.

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Eliz Olmstead
US
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Oct 17, 2018 7:08 am EDT
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Personally I have to agree with you. On this site everyone has a middle name, a nick name and different dates then the marker states. I find adding different names than what is on the marker to be completely disrespectful of what names the departed and the family that paid money for that marker.

Yes, after changing I have several times heard from real family who let me know that if they wanted that name it would be on their marker.

I would just love for someone to send me a correction on my mothers middle name, which by the way is simple enough to find on her birth certificate. Her middle name caused her so much pain, that neither I or my brother knew it until she died and I ordered her Birth record.

BEWARE, if you refuse too many corrections, even if by simply asking for documentation or source you will get a nice little email from the site admins

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JaneElroy
US
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Nov 28, 2018 2:45 pm EST
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Replying to comment of Eliz Olmstead

Getting the "nice little email from the site admins" is ridiculous - I guess they would rather we blindly accept garbage than have accurate meaningful memorials. It sure has gone downhill...

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merrysmerrys
US
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Sep 14, 2018 10:21 am EDT
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While I do agree with you about people contacting us and being very rude about what THEY think is the best way to do it, I am not letting any of them stop me from doing what I am doing. I research very old documents and resources and post the info on findagrave. Family most of the time is appreciative of what I do. I use my money, resources and time to make sure a person remembered for future generations. There are many people on [censored] that are the rudest people I have ever met, but thank God that there are way more nice people on there. [censored] does correct, chastise and remove those who need to be told how to behave. I do not just care about my family but I care about everyone's family and I try to post info that I know that they would never see if I didn't post it.

ComplaintsBoard
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12:13 pm EDT

Find A Grave find a grave ads

On August 15, 2017, I previewed the "new" Find a Grave and I am very dismayed. A look at my father's memorial showed a racy bra ad with cleavage zooming in and out. Has the management of Find a Grave no respect for the dead? My father was a disabled World War 2 veteran, a Bronze Medal recipient. That ad made me sick. What next, condom ads? I checked the ad as inappropriate, but the point is that it never should have been there. Worse, I see that if I want his memorial to be ad free, I have to pay a ransom of $5. The "new" Find a Grave is really disgusting.

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JaneElroy
US
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Nov 28, 2018 2:56 pm EST
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Ever heard of adblocking utilities for your browser? Might want to check into them.

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7:58 am EDT
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Find A Grave grave search

Horrible site - mostly graveyard vampyres (bored to death housewives with nothing better to do than to see how many graveyard memorials they can make if they know the deceased or not.) Many times these individuals use inaccurate date & swipe copyrighted family photos from other sites. Usually when families complain it falls on deaf ears. Find A Grave is an invasion of privacy. Families have the right to mourn their departed without any grief from the find a grave team.

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JaneElroy
US
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Nov 28, 2018 2:58 pm EST
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The copyright holder of an infringed photo can file a DMCA take-down notice with Find A Grave and they will remove the photo.
Would you be so kind as to list the law that gives families "the right to mourn their departed without any grief from the find a grave team"? Rolling on the floor... 'cause there ain't no such law. The dead have no privacy.

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7:33 pm EDT
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Find A Grave the service

Find A Grave for the most part is assorted photos of graves with bios made by bored housewives with usually no tie to the family. Its sort of a game - who can make the most memorials. Most of the info is inaccurate. In my particular case they took my grandparents names mixed them up with some1 else who was a distant cousin and then created the memorial. To make matters worse ancestry.com now owns find a grave. So these find a grave trolls got into family pages, swiped family photos and added them to their page. Now these trolls make make the claim family tree material is public record and they have a right to access it. That may be true. But private family photos are not public domain,

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JaneElroy
US
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Nov 28, 2018 3:03 pm EST
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Hmm, guess you haven't read the "terms" of either Ancestry or Find A Grave recently. Anything you find on any Ancestry-owned website can be copied and republished on any other Ancestry-owned website. If you put "private family photos" on your public tree on Ancestry, they are no longer "private". Other members MAY use those photos, according to Ancestry's policies. When you use any site, you should really, really read all of their terms, policies, etc. so you know what you are agreeing to / allowed to do. I know, some people find that far too tedious and boring.

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9:53 am EST

Find A Grave membership

I discovered Find A Grave a short while ago when doing research on relative, Lt. Francis G. Turton who was a Silver Medal receipient that was KIA in
Germany shortly before WW II ended. I have attempted to contribute information to his bio but have been repeatedly been ignored while trying to obtain an "activation code". It is never sent to my email address (and, YES, I've verified that I registered my correct email!) Is anyone monitoring new requests?

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A
7:31 pm EST

Find A Grave indirect suicide encouragement. encourages suicidal people (diff level of suicidal) commit suicide and died. kills people indirectly.

When you go more on findagrave even you would also wish to suicide. Findagrave are full of dead people and family and freind love/care/support message

those who dont have strong faith, dont go findagrave.
Many people originally not suicide, but when they visit findagrave or funeral sites,
they all suicide and died. Yes findagrave do encourage suicide.

If someone is suicidal, do not visit findagrave.

I got some friends who dont have suicidal thoughts. When they see their family member/friend on findagrave. They all go suicide.

This site steals funeral photos without permissions. Members all compete for number of burial records made by stealing ppl headstones and claim "dead people no longer have any privacy nor rights"
this is very cruel and rude to the family of the dead.

Even if on facebook u must also have to ask permission before you share photo from girls. Not just share or steal. Right?

and some people online in facebook only share, say "facebook is public. When you put photo, i can just share. Facebook not care this kind of thing."

it's people property, people photo, not your photo, and this same issue happen on findagrave

findagrave should delete unauthorized funeral photos pages. Members can even steal people headstone photo by take photo on camera and put even when the deceased really 100% no relation with the creator.

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Update by ОЛИВЬЕ
Jan 11, 2017 6:38 pm EST

my friend grave burial records keeps being deleted again and again

I write my friend grave on findagrave.com but the staff is heartless and coldblood. they not only suspend account they even keeps delete the friend burial record

this is very disrespectful to the dead

Update by ОЛИВЬЕ
Jan 11, 2017 7:36 pm EST

it made some people (normal and no suicidal thoughts) suddenly feels down emotionally and all go suicide (commit suicide) in different suicide methods and died very soon.

even when it's the user own responsibility to carry when they suicide, findagrave made a friend of mine who had nothing and is positive / happy in 2012 when her mother died. suddenly [censored]one point 5 year later (2013 June) and died in 2013 July 23

she was an active findagrave member herself, she looked her mom's grave on findgrave (findagrave) since her mom died on 7 feb 2012 and her dad died on [protected], both parents of her have burial records on findagrave.

and she [censored] in USA grand terrace in 2013 and died.

because of findagrave.

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Piedpyper
US
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Feb 10, 2019 7:48 pm EST

The average complaint on this site about Findagrave seems to be written by people who dropped out of grade school. Please let me find just one that makes sense. This person's posting activity is good for a laugh. 3 dozen in 1 day all about Findagrave.

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AmitChak
US
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Oct 16, 2018 7:21 pm EDT

I know many people who were addicted to that website who did commit suicide. If someone suffers some from of mental illness, especially suicidal tendencies, they should NOT spend too much time on that website...

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JaneElroy
US
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Nov 28, 2018 3:06 pm EST
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Replying to comment of AmitChak

Prove it - post their suicide notes where they specifically stated "I am committing suicide because of Find A Grave."

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Eliz Olmstead
US
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May 06, 2018 2:46 pm EDT
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The biggest crock to be posted yet about FindAGrave.

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Genealogy Girl (GenealogyGirl)
US
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Oct 06, 2017 4:41 pm EDT

This is the most idiotic thing that I have ever seen. I am a member of Findagrave. Findagrave does not make anyone suicidal, people who are suicidal area already suicidal. Findagrave's purpose is final disposition. You may not agree with it, but that is what the site is for. Many people love Findagrave, this is why you find so many happy volunteers. As far as photograph copyright goes, the only person who can claim copyright on a photograph is the person who actually took the photo.

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pobarjenkins
Minneapolis, US
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Jan 11, 2017 11:20 pm EST
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First and foremost, I would like to apologize for the lost of your friend. You have given no firm evidence that Findagrave.com was the cause of your friend's suicide or that it has made others be driven to suicide. Correlation does not equal causation. It is extremely likely that there were other issues with your friend that contributed to, if not caused, her decision to end her life. Many of the people who commit suicide do not share the extent of their issues.

Just to add for anyone viewing this, if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at [protected].

ComplaintsBoard
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7:23 pm EST

Find A Grave unethical website

I see that someone else had this situation regarding someone photographing and posting her six-year old daughter's headstone and posting it on Find a Grave.

My grandson was murdered in 2014 and someone who's 'volunteering' for find a grave posted a memorial and pilfered photos from Facebook and the news the DAY AFTER we learned he was murdered.

This website has no review or filtering process, clearly no code of ethical conduct or consideration for family of people who have recently died. I can't even locate a way to complain, either to Sarah S.R. who won't post her full name but posted information about my grandson, or the company's owner. This is a terrible business practice and they should stop posting photos, etc of recently deceased without family permission, especially if there is pending litigation around that person's death.

And to the poster who told the complainant that if she buried her daughter in a public cemetery, that person has a right to photograph and post information about her daughter, I will support that claim when these 'researchers' post their personal information, parents' names and details they have posted about our loved ones for public searches and viewing.

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=140510118&ref=acom

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kellyher
US
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May 29, 2017 1:08 am EDT

I feel strongly for both sides in this situation. It's extremely painful & so personal to stumble upon a close family members Head stone while exploring the internet. I've been there & felt like it was a kick in the stomach & disrespectful to a family that is still mourning a loss. On the other side it's so gratifying when you find the image of a family member's headstone... that died so many...years ago that the memory of them seems to have previously been wiped away.
In my family's instance - my grandmother's brother died in WW1. We knew nothing about dates, circumstances or where he was buried. His father might have known all of this in 1918 when it occured but it was something never discussed. Two generations later ..family members that could have answered my questions are all gone today. To me this man that died defending our country was more than just a name and a question mark. It's an uneasy feeling to not know what became of someone and where their final resting place is. Via ancestry i recently found his burial site, the date that his life ended & images of the stone and the surroundings ...in a very strange way this practice can give new life to a life lost so long ago in a far away land. BUT Somehow there should be a respectful time period aloud to pass...maybe as long as a generation plus...

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HKatW
Gainesville, US
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Jan 16, 2023 3:55 am EST
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Replying to comment of kellyher

We aren't discussing the long deceased now, are we Kelly? The topic is recently deceased individuals whose families aren't given proper time to grieve before experiencing having their dead family members info poached by a memorial addict itching for their next fix of fake internet points. Burn the whole operation down.

ComplaintsBoard
B
8:55 am EDT

Find A Grave this site is to be avoided at all costs

This site is to be avoided at all costs! There is a lot going on at the findagrave website that the unassuming public doesn't know about. This banning of members for no reason and deleting their memorials without cause will end up costing that website big and the members that are involved in this behavior will be held accountable.

I had a very negative experience with ###. I had been a member for over 9 years. The memorials I entered were mostly family members. One day out of the blue a member named BB started sending me emails about duplicate memorials. Her profile had no photo or bio and stated she had only been a member for 3 years. I checked into the memorials that she claimed were dupes and found that they were NOT dupes so I wrote back and let her know that the information she had must be incorrect. She continued sending emails up to 3 emails every five minutes. Since she was incorrect, I told her to stop harassing me. She did not respond and continued sending the emails.

A couple of days later I was trying to enter a memorial and my account was cancelled. I checked for my memorials and they were all deleted! All my photos and information was gone. I couldn't believe it, and I thought it must be an error. I contacted the admin to try and figure out what was going on. I asked them why I could not log in to my account. I didn't get a response. So I wrote again and asked them why my memorials were deleted. No response. I wrote a third time, asking when my account was going to be restored. No response. That was 8 months ago and I have never gotten a response. I checked the BB members account, and suddenly she's been a member for 9 years. After another couple of months, I checked it again and now it's up to 11 years. She IS the admin. For whatever reason they deleted my account and all my memorials then BB and some other members, probably admin as well, began stealing the information and the photos and posting them as their own. I lost years worth of work, including travel time all over the country and countless hours of research.

After my experience, I began researching the company to see what others were saying and I was completely stunned to find that there are literally hundreds of complaints about these people. Because of their underhanded tactics they have become a joke in the genealogy world. One professor who teaches genealogy courses makes a point of telling his students NOT to trust the information on that site because it is filled with errors and most of it has either been stolen or is in violation of copyright laws. I have also read that ancestry.com is having to repair the damage that ### has done by deleting memorials because they have caused broken links. This is a huge issue for ancestry and makes them look bad, which they do NOT take lightly. They are in the process of disassociating themselves from ### due to their tactics.

Unfortunately, some of the F.A.G. members are not only out of line, but their comments can only lead one to believe that they are inherently evil beings. In reference to deceased family members they post venomous comments that are not only inexcusable but downright mean, nasty and vile.

There's one member that wears a red bowl on her head with a white whirlybird thing on it. Her tagline reads "Go play in the microwave - you pest". I'm completely serious. I realize it's hard to believe that an adult would do something like this but the worst part about it, aside from it being completely inappropriate and cruel, is that she's one of the administrators.

The forums are filled with horrible comments, which are aimed towards insulting and offending members, former members, new members, and people that don't agree with the "core group". They refer to the site as "Jim's playground". They consider the "Frequently Asked Questions" section to be sacred text. Time and time again you'll see them post such caring comments as "go cry somewhere else", people need to learn to "play by the rules", and banished members are "sniveling children".

Keep in mind this is a site that has memorials on it. These memorials represent many deceased friends and family members from all parts of the globe. Most people would assume that the site is supposed to be used to honor the dead and/or as a reference tool for genealogy. However, upon further examination, and after having experienced firsthand the underhanded tactics, obnoxious and inappropriate terminology and language used there, it is painfully obvious that this is just a hideout for a group of overgrown bullies haunting and slashing their way through the pages of this online graveyard.

There is nothing upstanding, caring, considerate, or honorable about the administrators that run this site or their minions that freely admit to trolling page after page looking for errors and problems to "report back" to their leader. There is nothing kind or loving about the way they handle questions, complaints, or opinions. There is nothing dignified at all about these people who control a website that houses memorials of people's loved ones. It's difficult to believe that any human being could be that wicked and ruthless but it's all right there in plain English for the whole world to see. Shame on those people - shame!

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TruthSeeker69
US
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May 29, 2017 1:11 am EDT

As a member of Find A Grave since the web was in its infancy, I can tell you with certainty that not all of us are "inherently evil beings."

As a genealogist, I have standards and there are certain things that I will not do (I will not take pictures of tombstones of children who have died within the past 50 years and I will not take pictures of tombstones of adults who have died within 10 years. Even so, if someone asks me to delete a memorial, no matter how old it is, it's deleted. No questions asked). It doesn't say much for you, or anyone else, to make such sweeping statements about people.

Bottom line: I'm interested in accuracy, not becoming a "Top Contributor" to the website (if I wanted that, I would have had it about a decade before many people even heard or read about the site).

I'm so old I remember when the website had zero to do with genealogy. Its original intention/focus was featuring famous memorials - and people were unable to leave comments on the pages.

When the site was opened up to non-famous memorials, that's when the proverbial sh** hit the fan. And with the advent and popularity of garbage TV shows such as "Who Do You Think You Are?", this encouraged people who fancied themselves "genealogists" to get involved with the website, because all one has to do is create an account and, boom, your "work" is posted right away, accuracy be damned.

It's that caliber of person who has made the website into a joke - posting nothing more than names and years of birth and death. And it's that same type of bored individual who creates the drama you spoke about because that's what happens when people choose to live in the middle of nowhere. There's nothing else going on, so fire up a machine and spout goofy sh**. Everyone shouldn't be painted with the same brush for the childish few.

As for Billion Graves: That website is a joke, along with Interment.net. I like FindAGrave's option to stick information with the memorial because all I ever wanted to do was help people who were looking for family members to find the information I post in as many memorials as I can.

The only information I post is from the public record - yes, tombstones are public along with newspaper death notices and obituaries. And plenty of people have contacted me over the years thankful for the information I posted as it helped them with their research. That is the ONLY reason why I am on that website.

Given the amount of time I have been on the site, I have gotten a few wisea**es along the way, but I put them in their places (and, no, I am not an administrator). I have even had one contributor who actually stalked me in a few cemeteries and started going through my interments to see what cemeteries I was posting a lot in. She would go to these cemeteries every single day and take her crooked, blurry photos (that she claimed copyright to!) just so she could edge me out. She even created another account on the site (no picture nor bio) thinking no one would realize they were the same person.

Again, this is what happens when you live in the middle of nowhere, your computer is your only form of entertainment, and you have nothing else to do but live in cemeteries.

So I “get it” that there are plenty of people with "issues" on Find A Grave.

On the other hand, I have corresponded with some of the nicest, most helpful people through the site. They're trying to do what I'm there for: We're just trying to document cemeteries (especially older burials) as there are people who live far away from these cemeteries and who cannot travel or go to a cemetery for one reason or the other.

And too many cemeteries are being neglected in this day and age, so perhaps it's a good thing people like myself take pictures and document the older stones before the information on them disappears ... or the stone sinks into the ground.

In the grand scheme of things, though: Find A Grave was never to be used for genealogy. It morphed into that. Next time, do a little homework before you brand everyone with the same iron while accusing others of doing the same. There is a term for that behavior.

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MnMan
Faribault, US
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Sep 18, 2012 8:54 pm EDT

I am sorry you had to learn about the lurking evil the hard way. Had I known that kind of evil was lurking in the shadows, I would have never participated on on the site. Billion Graves is a great alternative. Thank you for speaking out and warning others. Everything you said is important for others to know.

ComplaintsBoard
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9:13 am EDT

Find A Grave abused and bullied by a administrator and her friends

Used and abused, added thousands of photos and memorials sponsored 10 memorials when my account was suspended (by a biased administrator)all my hard work remained. Jim Tipton profits from those of use that visit and photograph cemeteries. His administrators play favorites and will favor their friends over other members. My contributions put thousands of dollars in Jim Tipton's pocket and all I got was harrassed, abused and bullied by a administrator and her friends. DO NOT JOIN FIND A GRAVE AND NEVER CONTRIBUTE ANYTHING YOU WILL REGRET IT IF NOT NOW EVENTUALLY!

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Marthann Kohl-Fuhs
Defiance, US
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Jan 22, 2017 7:09 am EST
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Why is it that certain members of Find A Grave seem to think they are the cops and can flood your email with orders to fix this or that memorial? It is cyber stalking and cyber bullying and the administrators don't care.

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ОЛИВЬЕ
US
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Jan 11, 2017 7:42 pm EST

I feel sad of you that you had even paid money to the site.

I am free member they also bully us. you are paid, they should not be rude to anyone who paid them. their site.

I feel sorry for you even having money paid.

they keep on suspend people now.

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4:54 am EDT
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Find A Grave theft

I have had similar experiences. This site is a dictatorship and it hides behind the guise of helping others connect with their loved ones. They are despicable!

I have experienced the rudeness of the admins, the failure to respond, and the deletion of years worth of work due to preferential treatment of another member. The member's name is BB - no bio given. At the time of her attack on me, I had been a member for nearly 9 years. The BB member was listed as having been a member for 3 years. She spammed my email box with claims of duplicate listings. I let her know that I did not have duplicates as the originals were incorrect and although I contacted the original creators I had never received an answer. Also, some of her claims of duplicates were just flat out lies. In most cases they were two completely different people. This woman was trolling the entire site 'looking' for duplicates and her wall was filled with messages from other members that complained of her harassment and spamming, all in regards to so called dupes. I told her that I had no idea why she kept hounding me about these so called duplicates when the listings didn't even belong to her. Then one day, my account was deleted. All my work was gone. I contacted the admins but never did get a response. That was 6 months ago and still nothing. I checked the BB profile and suddenly she's been a member for 9 years now. She was able to change that, which tells me she IS the admin. She's one of those "numbers" submitters and couldn't care less if her info is correct or not. She has absolutely no regard for anyone's grief and after my work was deleted SHE entered MY information as her own. So she stole my listings and my photos. These are members of my family. I went back and checked her bio again and now she's been a member for over 11 years! Yep - she's one of the admin. That is downright scary!

Because I had such a negative experience I began doing research on this company. I was amazed at all the negative comments surrounding the findagrave website. When you are the one going through it, you don't realize that others have had the same bad experiences and in some cases much worse ones. There are legions of people complaining about the website. I thought pissedconsumer.com and complaintsboard were the main venting places, but there are many others all over the web.

If there is an example of how NOT to run a website, it looks like findagrave has found it. I have been in contact with well over 100 people that experienced problems, if not out and out harassment from the members and admin of the site. There is actually a lawsuit pending regarding the lost work involved by some of the former members.

The worst part for findagrave though, is they have become a joke to the ancestry.com community. Findagrave thinks it's flexing it's muscles when it deletes accounts and removes other people's work. But what they are really doing is creating dead links that ancestry had listed as relevant information. This has made ancestry.com look bad and they do not take that lightly.

A friend of mine works at ancestry.com and they receive a multitude of complaints about dead links from findagrave all the time. It's my understanding that ancestry has to remove all the findagrave links from their site and disassociate themselves from them.

I mean when you have the largest website in the industry actually linking to your site that's a big deal. But they blew it - All because they wanted a select few to be the big fish in a little pond.

It's mind boggling! Actually, it's a shame because findagrave had an opportunity to be one of the "big" ones but instead they let their egos and troublemakers ruin their chances of ever being taken seriously.

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GigiH5710
US
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Jan 23, 2019 6:18 am EST

Had I read the complaints first, I would have never created a memorial! My photo was stolen 2 days after posting my mom's grave marker, this week! I have had an account for over 13 years, mostly to post condolences but knowing my family would be dying, leaving me to share genealogy as the youngest. The Cyber thief is apparently an inside admin with 20, 000+ memorials, that only joined recently (after me). Probably stolen from members who posted their own family memorials, like me, for genealogy connections. It's not a contest to have the most! But the Maher turds think they are famous? Quit the Cyber stalking and thieving. Being stubborn toward others requests, will get your memorials closed by Ancestry. They (Ancestry) don't want to deal with the Utah Attorney General and all the complaints received. That is where I directed my complaints before... and I got results!

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Anna Douglas Madden
US
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Nov 19, 2018 11:00 am EST

Message claims that it has no record of my email address, and there is no way to function on the site without the original address. Want to be reinstated immediately.

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California66
US
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Oct 27, 2018 5:31 pm EDT
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I received a message on Find a grave this morning from a Tina Jackson Member ID# [protected] with a NUDE PHOTO attached. I don't know what kind of a website you have but it needs to be shut down. What if my daughter had opened this message? You people make me sick. I'm going to do my best to see that Find a grave and Tina Jackson get prosecuted.

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AmitChak
US
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Oct 23, 2018 2:08 am EDT

I got suspended from Find A Grave for uploading "copyright" photographs I took MYSELF on holidays over the years to various religious sites. I will never pay another penny to that scam company.

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Carole Wrubleski Barr
US
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Aug 15, 2018 8:29 am EDT
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The phone number for Gulph United Church of Christ listed under cemetery ID 551699 is incorrect. The correct number for this church is [protected]. The lady who has the number listed is not a happy camper. June 9, 2018. Reported by Carole Wrubleski Barr, Find a Grave member #[protected].

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fuckyou2computers
US
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Aug 14, 2018 12:08 pm EDT
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I am Michele Wixom. The late Lynn Wixom Married me after his late wife Gloria. Why is it not listed as that? His O/B stated it . I want it change to than he married Michele Moffat after the death of his first wife Gloria when you look it up it just say he is survived by his family Michele Moffat Wixom it does not say hes wife Michele Moffat Wixom

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Patricia Sacratomato
US
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Nov 23, 2015 4:17 pm EST

Glendy is a contributor to find a grave who continually adds duplicate memorials. She adds information she gets directly from the first memorials. Yet find a grave deletes the original memorial instead of Glendy's duplicates. Not just mine but those entered by others. I spend hours a day, almost everyday, working on my find a grave memorials. Searching ancestry.com to add additional information about the people and link them to family members. I am finished! When my memorials that were deleted are reinstated I may contribute to find a grave again, not before.

Since ancestry.com bought findagrave.com it has not been the same website.

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laurannie
bloomingdale, US
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Feb 25, 2014 9:57 am EST

I made the horrible mistake of posting in the forum. Is there ANY way to remove myself from the forum?!

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MnMan
Faribault, US
Send a message
Sep 25, 2012 9:17 am EDT

The administrator told me they do not have time to investigate both sides of the story.

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JOMCS
Versailles, US
Send a message
Aug 27, 2012 8:55 am EDT

Totally agree about the self appointed Police on Find a Grave who do nothing but stalk, spam, and destroy very valuable research that some descendants might need and do not have access to, or ability to document families.
One of my friends was just attacked and reported by a the new self appointed "Copyright" Police and shaving cream police. She stalked her memorials and reported them to ### and stated these memorials were duplicates and should be deleted.
I have found several duplicates in using Find a Grave and wrote the submitter, some responded and some did not for whatever personal reason they might have had. Then I dropped it, I am not about to Police ###.
Seems to me with all the technology that ### has access to especially now that they are part of Ancestry.com, they could find duplicates on a daily basis, and notify the members to work it out. For gosh sakes, there are dogs and horses on this site, how serious can it be. This is a public site for sharing information, and unless these Police persons are COPYRIGHT LAWYERS or ### administrators, they need to butt out of other peoples business. If another ### member finds a duplicate or problem they should first politely address it to the other member, and then if they do not get an answer go to ### administration (who in my opinion are not weighing both sides of the argument, ) and if they are a lawyer they can address a complaint to the Legal staff of ###.
What business is it of any other member to Police the ### board? Isn't that the job of the ### administrators who do not often listen to both sides but go with the one who is screaming loudest, and then decide to delete years of genealogy research for no legitimate reason? This could be a very valuable site but if the harrassing continues they will lose lots of members and valuable research. Ancestry.com would then have a "Pig in a Poke", and would probably be very unhappy.

ComplaintsBoard
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5:48 am EDT

Find A Grave the owner of this sight is making millions of dollars off of death and people's grief

This is not a "genealogical register for burials". It is a website that offers virtual "memorials" for the deceased. These people are not genealogists. No real and professional genealogist would be associated with a site that offers an "upgrade this memorial" or "remove these ads" link. It's disgusting and it exploits the dead and their surviving family members. The owner of this sight is making millions of dollars off of death and people's grief. The people that post these pictures and information on the deceased DO NOT have the permission of family members to create "memorials" for their loved ones. The only people that have the right to preserve the memory of an individual are the people that knew and loved them. Not weird, morbid, lurkers that go into cemeteries stepping on graves to increase a number by their name on the findagrave.com website.

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CemeteryGirl
US
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Jun 18, 2013 1:52 am EDT

I do findagrave and alot of time I dont know the people but its not about any number to increase in stats I promise. I want people ot be memorialized for other relatives who cant find them.

ComplaintsBoard
B
7:53 am EDT

Find A Grave beware of this site

I was banned recently for disagreeing with some of the lifer/lurker types on the discussion board. No cursing, no personal attacks on any specific individual ... just disagreeing with them.

Beware of this site. And trust me, they read this message board. They quote it all the time and make fun of the people who post here. They know exactly who you people are, and they wish they could ban you here too -- but this is beyond their reach. And it gets to them.

Trust me -- you can get their goat here. We're not talking about a group of mature adults here, we're talking about a bunch of Mall Cops (my apologies to Mall Cops everywhere).

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10:29 am EDT

Find A Grave stay away from this one

Thanks everyone for posting your similar ### experiences with the ### forum freaks. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one that had bad experiences. I have not run into such a bunch of crass, controlling, unprofessional, psychotic dolts ever. Seems to be some strange obsessive fascination that attracts these misfits there in droves. Mind you I'm not talking about the normal average users there are some very nice people and very helpful too but I'm talking about the greedy obsessive egomaniacs you are certain to find in what I'd call the "ForThem's" Number one hint - don't EVER use the forums unless you are a masochist. Do whatever you want! It will hopefully drive these people over the edge. They genuinely seem to love spending every waking second berating and demeaning people.

Sucks to be them when they die, think of all the others that went before waiting for them to explain why they wouldn't transfer their memorial to their loved one that wanted it?

You just keep hoarding those memorials sisters and denying transfers to family members! Wherever you go you'll have lots of explaining to do!

Users needs will eventually dictate changes to ### so it can and will be used more fairly or not at all. Change is the one constant in life and you can take to the bank.

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9:23 am EDT

Find A Grave sacrilegious vulgarity

Who gave anyone at this "hobby site", the "right" to stand on my father's grave and take a picture of his tombstone? Unlike the many "famous" people and their graves that begin this site... it has now devolved into a grave violating hobby for a bunch of people who have nothing better to do than to aspire for "top honors" for the greatest number of graves, (of private citizens), photographed (violated), documented, and splayed across the Internet. Some even have the audacity to post warnings as to the "copyright" status of these photographs.

How do you explain to your 92 year old mother why some stranger is standing on her husband's tomb taking photographs? How do you explain to her why the picture of her husband's tomb is splattered across the Internet? How do you answer her question about why some stranger "owns" the copyright to the photo of her husband's tomb?

This is vulgarity beyond measure.

Time to start getting some "grave desecration" and privacy laws updated...and getting some lawyers to start earning their annual retainers.

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Brenda Darbyshire
Albany, US
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Jun 13, 2023 4:47 pm EDT

You placed the headstone, then you lost it tp public domain. Get over it you are not the only one who your father belongs to. You can always remove the headstone it you do not like it

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Eddie Jones
US
Send a message
Jun 13, 2023 11:34 pm EDT
Replying to comment of Brenda Darbyshire

Brenda, this complaint was from 12 years ago. And frankly, telling someone to get over something like this is very rude and unnecessary. You should be ashamed of yourself.

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Steve Stfia
US
Send a message
Mar 06, 2022 1:24 am EST

A Megam Heyl took over my parents, grandparents graves + very special little baby who fell vctem to the flu epidemic.. He was barely six months old.

After taking over Megan Heyl cluttered the site info she swiped from the net...

Divorses, other spouses, children if or if not were legit but.not exclusively. There were sub menus. What started out to be a Memorial soon.turned

in2 a tabloid

Furthermore Meham Heyl refused to relinquish management when approached by.immediatel family. When I complained 2 FinfdAgrave I was. banned from the site 4 voiloating coomunity standards which is a nice way of saying I didn't suck up 2 Megan Heyl. I was also.threatened with police action 4 supposedly cyber stalking.

I am 75 years old and cannnot believe this happening. Things like this do not happen in the real world...only in trashy 1970s drive in horror movies and on old Twilight Zone reruns.

Whatever meds they r on over there at FindAGrave aren't working. The whole situation is warped. The site should be shut.down like pronto

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Gus Mueller
US
Send a message
Oct 28, 2019 9:40 pm EDT

this read like it was written by someone who has never used the googles

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stren
US
Send a message
Aug 23, 2019 5:19 am EDT

If cemeteries were meant to be private, every plot would have a fence around it, cemeteries would not allow photography (most do, complain to them not Find A Grave), and I would venture a guess that maybe 0.00003% of legislators would be crazy enough to side with you and idiotic enough to care.

So good luck, the rest of us will be helping others with their genealogy. You can complain if you like, we won't stop.

Bye!

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sherry maccanico
whiting, US
Send a message
Dec 20, 2021 1:34 pm EST
Replying to comment of stren

A cemetery plot is private piece of land purchased by the deceased or family of the deceased. What an ignorant statement to say If "cemeteries were meant to be private, every plot would have a fence around it"Alot of private property don't have fences around them, but you don't have the right to tresspass on it. I think its time to get rid of Find a Grave

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Brenda Darbyshire
Albany, US
Send a message
Jun 13, 2023 4:49 pm EDT
Replying to comment of sherry maccanico

The law has already been established a cemetery grave is public domain once you place a headstone there. It is for the world to see and not for anyone to own. It you want to control it,then have them cremated and sit on your mantle piece for only you to enjoy.

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Eddie Jones
US
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Jun 13, 2023 11:39 pm EDT
Replying to comment of Brenda Darbyshire

If the relative of the deceased individual is on find a grave, the community shall respect the relative's wishes to have the online memorial removed. Find a grave is not a cemetery for god's sake.

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thisisauntakenusername
US
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Jan 08, 2019 3:01 am EST

Ligma for all who are butthurt by the OP

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TwoCentsWorth
US
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Jul 30, 2016 6:31 am EDT
Verified customer This complaint was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

I was not aware that there was a competition to create the most memorials. I have tried to find info on some of my ancestors; and I cannot. The reason I post memorials along with family history is so that future people will have a much easier time tracing their ancestry - and it will be available on a website that is FREE to access. We are all going to die. It is a fact. I wonder about the strong emotional response posted that calls showing love for mankind "Sacrilegious vulgarity." I never imagined that showing love for the human family could be considered either sacrilegious or vulgar. The response is grounded in an over-abundance of emotion and a complete lack of rationale.

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MicahJ
US
Send a message
Oct 03, 2013 5:06 pm EDT

Oh why do you care so much its there to honor the dead not oh lets make sure we dont remember who your father is and what he did before he died. Well I agree with the copyright status since its your FATHER not theres. How is violating someone? You dont want people to know who your grandfather was?

Oh you explain to your grandmother someone had enough decency to remember your grandfather when her children are too busy to visit her husband grave. Well I agree with the last comment no know owns the copyright to the photo of your fathers tombstone.
Its not vulgar its rememberence of the dead. Tell me who will care when you die and your children die and there childrens children die?

Oh please! STOP now. its not grave desecration unless a dog or cat piss and c*** over the tombstones! thats descreation not trying to preserve a person and who they were.

If you feel that way be cremated and then forgotten! But remember someone may put your memorial on findagrave

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Harry Kr
US
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Jun 13, 2013 2:54 pm EDT
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The best you can do Dorothy is email F.A.G. and ask that certain changes be made (which may not happen for months). BUT as a warning whoever had the changes made might be one of the administrators' favorites and might retaliate. Yes, they can be that petty. The party that had the changes made might even try to get control of the memorials and have you bumped from F.A.G. The website isn't run on the fairness and professionalism code of ethics doctrine, but more like something you would find in high school or in dirty politics.

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Dorothy Spies
Wayne, US
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Jun 02, 2013 9:12 pm EDT
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I am very annoyed with findagrave. I have been adding family members for at least 4 years and had no problem until recently I agree with who said it has become a competition to see who can create the most memorials. In the last few days I have found erroneous info posted on my memorials. One even listing two female names as parents of on of my ancestors. I thought only the created of the memorials could make such changes. To make matters worse I can't find out how to fix this.

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Harry Kr
US
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May 22, 2013 5:17 am EDT
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While I understand your concern about your grandmother's feelings and Find A Grave is run by unscrupulous people, one of the purposes of the website is to honor the dead. Very few people that have ever lived show up in the history books. One way to remember them is through websites like F.A.G.

As a suggestion, rather than seeing this as a violation of privacy see it as a chance for people to know about your grandfather. You can ask that management of the memorial be transferred to you. You can add his picture and a biography and other things you would like people to know about him.

ComplaintsBoard
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12:04 pm EST

Find A Grave rude admins

I have been a member of FindAGrave for a few years and have had my fill of the rude admins. they have running their site. After reading a "help" forum, I was so irritated, I decided to end my membership. This comment wasn't even directed towards me, but this unprofessionalism is the norm, rather than the exception. Actually, there are two admins that are rude all the time. One being counted58x. Below is how she responded to someone's question in the forums. She is an absolute "B"! Why would anyone want to put up with these people?

Originally Posted By: ludlowbay

With regard to recent forum conversations concerning headstone cleaning do's & don'ts, I would still like clarification about the punishments that are repeatedly mentioned for failure to comply. I am NOT advocating any challenges to the discussion of proper cleaning methods, or the Find A Grave system in general.

I find only one mention of suspension in all of the FAQs, and that is in regard to charging money for taking photos. I find zero mentions of banned or time out.

If another member speaks in the forum, purportedly on behalf of Find A Grave and says "you can be given a time-out or permanently banned", I want to know where I can find the official version of that statement.

HER RESPONSE (counted58x):

My goodness. You do have trouble taking a hint, don't you?

We completely rewrote the FAQ last year and made them much more exhaustive. Do we need to spell out every little thing?

Don't chalk. Don't touch a stone that doesn't belong to you. Don't worry about consequences unless you do things we've told you not to do. That should be sufficient for adults to understand.

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12:28 pm EST

Find A Grave stay away

My name is Cindy McPhee, I last wrote here because I was really upset about find a grave unprofessionalism they never would explain why they turned off my account and picked on my Little sister (just because she was related to me) I at first felt taken advantage of because I had cared about the nice people and the angel's that I had flowererd and then I finally called the BBB, and when I got angry they answered me, when I was nice and friendly they ignored me, they changed my memorials to their own words and let me look like the creator still even though they took ownership of my memorials, not my grandma but the other memorial's i wrote they were murder victims, they erased that they were killed, when everyone else there has murdered victims memorials made they bullied me and let so many of the other members gossip and write horrible public board lies about me and my deceased husband "Let the dead rest, rude people at find a grave" I filed my complaint about how I was treated very poorly, and I was told they are being investigated from alot of not just the BBB but other agencies as well, if they were more professional and fair they would be ok, but since they act so rude to people who cared about their site, they show their true colors AJ, Jim tipton, Darlene this girl that thinks she owns the site, and people who are there just for flower counts and running people around like they're in high school still being bully's. I call this place Find A Gossip, They left a very sick slanderous lie gossip story about my dead husband and me for atleast 3 days over a month and I had asked nicely 4x to please erase this note since they deleted my husbands memorial, and a fake memorial took his place, they didn't care about my dead husband. I just found out it is barely off it took that long had I written it I would have been in trouble but when their people write rude lies and slanderous comments seriously defamation of character they let it stay they just now erased it because I think this is no longer a joke it's gotten serious, my sister has an account she is afraid to even get on and leave a flower for our dad and grandma, because they said they are watching her and she doesn't do anything, so threats to her go unwarranted my also my 18 yr. old has an account for his dog that was shot last christmas, they deleted his account because he was related to me also but, then restored it, he is going to the Marine's in June he did nothing and they deleted him like my sister, I spoke up so yes, they of course deleted me but my sister and son wo, obviously because they are related to me, they both don't want to go on because they don't need the lies and drama of whatever lies will be made up nest, So instead of find a grave, I call it find a gossip, I enjoyed the nice people but when the admin. people are so unfair and controlling and just plain unprofessional and have their favorites, then it becomes something totally different as long as you don't ask any questions why they are treating you or your memorials a mean way then they feel they own you. well, it's sad there, I have gotten emails from across the world that I met there and even all around the usa, about this site. It's ridiculous some people just want to see who can pass out the most flowers or who gets the most flowers so so sad, not there from there heart but like a competition. They do have some good people contributors there and they have been very caring and encouraging to me and my family. As for the people who run *** I have to say it's too bad for the way it is run. Blessings to Angels in Heaven.

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AmitChak
US
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Oct 16, 2018 7:09 pm EDT

I got suspended from Find A Grave for uploading "copyright" photographs I took MYSELF on holidays over the years to various religious sites. I will never pay another penny to that scam company.

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JaneElroy
US
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Nov 28, 2018 2:42 pm EST
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Replying to comment of AmitChak

Find A Grave is a free website so you must be talking about a different website.

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Jessica Jackson Cole
US
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May 03, 2018 11:58 am EDT

I am so so bad Cindy, I just posted a Burial Unknown at [censored] and even posted an obituary with living family members names on it! The picture I posted was beautiful, their face was so peaceful looking laying there in the casket. Of course I had URL's to other memorial sites to honor the deceased. Thank you Find A Grave!

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Jessica Jackson Cole
US
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May 03, 2018 11:46 am EDT

I am so sorry Cindy and others for your bad experiences at Find-a-Grave([censored]). To avoid problems, a new or old contributor should totally avoid the [censored] Forums, any communications with [censored] staff and if contributor Diehard harasses you, do not respond to it. [censored]'s new website is riddled with errors. Don't complain about these errors as the staff
are overwhelmed by the bugs and they could ban you. [censored] had erased several of my bios in the past without notice and blocked me from going back into the profile. The new website no longer has that feature enabled so I was able to restore my profiles. Use the screwed up new website to your advantage and for God's sakes don't complain or interact with the staff or [censored] crazies. And just hope Diehard does not come for you.

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Anon-mouse
US
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Nov 12, 2015 11:39 am EST

Dear Marthann Kohl-Fuhs,
I'm so sorry for your experiences. Please understand that some of these people have nothing better to do than to find fault with other people's work. They are at a point in their life where they feel unappreciated unless they are being smug and superior as they find infractions to jump on -- like a crazed religious fanatics on a quest to sniff for sinners and stomp them out. They can quote the numerous findagrave guidelines off the top of their heads like some can quote scripture...
The rules are supposed to be guidelines, but to them they are precious dictates that give them raison d'être as they pontificate to others. Many of the guidelines have good intentions. For instance, duplicates are not a good idea as it confuses those that lookup loved ones. I once had a handful of them because someone had two separate cemetery listings instead of multiple alias cemetery names for the same cemetery. Luckily, the contributor who caught it was a gentleman who nicely explained the issue. He wasn't one of those self righteous fanatics that get their panties wadded all out of shape because there was an infraction.
These fanatics are not very technical savvy, so they cannot even think of what the future of findagrave might be. Take the case of Burials Unknown. It really serves no purpose to put one's whole family in findagrave if you have no clue where any of them are buried. Some people (very few) have done that and it is about as useful to do as using a hammer to scramble eggs -- wrong tool for the wrong job... That is best to do in a genealogy program until you have a better idea where they are buried. Unlike some of those infraction police, I'm not going to jump up and down about it like some fanatic. I'm simply stating the obvious -- it serves no purpose.
However, there are times where there are many good reasons as to why you suspect where the dead are buried, but cannot prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. It would be simple for findagrave to implement an indicator that states that a memorial is for someone where their is xyz info about their lives, and the info so far known about the dates and location of their demise and what is the believed location of their burial. (For examples, sometimes you have an obituary that states where they are buried, yet the cemetery itself has no record, or records lost/destroyed, and of course no headstone.) Then in these cases simply leave it as a burial unknown. If you put all the facts you know, perhaps one day records will surface, and at that time the burial unknown can be put in the proper cemetery.
Unfortunately, the infraction police cannot see past the end of their nose, so they want to scream if they even find one Burial Unknown. As a result, scared contributors do something that is even worse -- they simply plop some one in a cemetery so that it will be a long time before the truth becomes known. I specifically have an ancestor who died and then his widow and children moved to another state. His family's graves are known. However, where he himself is buried is probably in the cemetery in their original hometown, but for whatever reasons, it is not known for sure. Sadly, a very distant relative decided to plop him in the state his loved ones moved to. (I seriously doubt that in the early 1800's people dug up their dead and moved them hundred of miles to their new location.) This relative contributor meant well, but it was completely wrong and misleading. I would rather he had put all the info correctly INCLUDING the fact that we know where and when he died, but that there is NO definitive proof exactly where he is buried (perhaps either in the hometown cemetery or perhaps on their farmland). I'm not going to link up his children with this memorial because it simply is misleading. His widow's memorial clearly states that his burial is truly unknown that visitors can read for themselves. That said, unlike these fanatics it would give me no pleasure to shame this contributor, nor hound the admins until they destroyed his memorial to this ancestor.
I also understand why there are guidelines for ownership of photos and quoting things such as obituaries. They are simply protecting themselves should the real owners of the photos or obituaries make a fuss. They don't want to get into legal entanglements.
Most of these fanatical storm troopers have lost their steam with the implementation with the forms for general updates to memorials (dates, names, links, etc). However, sadly there is not an ignore feature for these fanatics. Even if there were, they would be commiserating with their fellow fanatics on the findagrave forums about how horrible others are, and how wonderful the good old days were when findagrave had fewer features and fewer contributors. (Speaking of the forums, comment on them at your own risk. If you say anything that pisses them off, they will swarm on your memorials looking for things to criticize and then bombard you with complaints.) I had already gotten rid of any dups way before I got on the forums. I also don't have to use others photos nor quote obituaries, as I have my own info. I also had so few burials unknown (and definitely no plopping of the deceased into cemeteries where they are not located), that I could not satisfy their lustful cravings to get all pissy and find fault with my memorials. I won't go into what infraction they bug me about, but it gets really old.
Perhaps one day they will find that their is more to life than spending your time being anal retentive and making others' lives miserable. Until then what you should feel is pity.

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Glendora Whetstone
US
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Aug 22, 2015 4:50 pm EDT

LOL Marthann... I guess you will go back to those places. Since you're banned from FindAGrave, what other choice do you have? You still owe me an apology though. You accused me of using a fake name and email and that is not true. You also said you didn't get a warning from Find A Grave. I know that's a lie. You were told to clean up your listings, but you just ignored it and kept listing more and more that still broke the rules. Now you are here and at Pissed Consumer running your mouth and disrespecting people and getting told how it really is. By the way, I finally got those living people listings deleted... you know, the ones you created for linking purposes when their spouses died? How sick!

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Marthann Kohl-Fuhs
Defiance, US
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Aug 20, 2015 9:00 am EDT
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TO: deedra-dennis, “Ladybug” member #[protected]; Glendora (member #[protected]) ; Diehard (member #[protected]); GatheringMyFamily (member #[protected]); GerbLady (member #[protected]); Honoring our ancestors (member #[protected]); Apollymi (member #[protected]), & others:
I am just going to go back to where I started: http://www.usgenweb.org/; http://iagenweb.org/; http://iagenweb.org/shelby/ and http://iowagravestones.org/; where if you look me up, I have posted thousands of gravestone photos in nearly every cemetery in the county I live in. I have transcribed thousands of pages of bios and other items.
I admit I didn't even read the ### guidelines until people like you started whining, I also didn't know guidelines are rules?
I mistakenly thought that since ### was connected to Ancestry.com, that it was for family history research.
I find it's just so ### gets richer with every memorial that is posted.
I am finished with this conversation.

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One User
US
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Aug 19, 2015 6:07 pm EDT

Marthann, don't worry about the memorials. Find A Grave is managing them and the "police" will submit corrections so those memorials are not only fitting tributes but also are in alignment with the site's guidelines.

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deedra-dennis
US
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Aug 18, 2015 2:58 pm EDT

Marthann, I have photographed and added over 4000 memorials from walking the cemeteries row by row. Added over 12000 photos I personally took with my own camera. Driven over 3 hours at a time to go to cemeteries. I do not steal, nor do I list burial unknowns EVER. I do not duplicate. I do not steal photos from obituaries, funeral home websites, or other memorials. I do not list currently living survivors in the bios (family excluded). I follow the rules. If I find a death certificate or old obituary and the person is not listed on the site, I add their memorial after a very careful search - completely allowed by the site. I appreciate and welcome edits, and have sent over 5000 myself to other contributors since the new system was implemented - taking my own time to help ensure their memorials are correct and complete. I am thankful I am healthy enough to go to cemeteries and do this work. Your attitude would exclude any disabled person who wants to contribute - tell a wheelchair bound person they can't contribute because they can't walk in the cemetery? Completely supercilious on your part. I too am surprised you were not banned before now, based on what I've seen. You earned your RNA, pure and simple. You are simply mad because other people "beat you to it" and had the memorials listed before you could do it yourself out of those "cemetery books". I agree with JulieLinn, start your own website and then you are accountable to no one.

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JulieLinn
US
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Aug 18, 2015 1:31 pm EDT

Oh, wait, one more peeve. I am constantly stunned that people are literally bawling in different places that Joe Schmoe didnt thank them for their work. Seriously? I made a version of the following statement and got booted from a Facebook page for my trouble: If you need to be thanked for being a volunteer, so badly, buy yourself a teeshirt that say "I'm Spiffy, " and get over it.
So, while you very unhappy people are stuck in 9th grade, I will now actually get out to another cemetery and start taking some pictures that I will accurately enter into the system and watch my numbers grow higher and higher because everyone knows that if you are doing your volunteer work as best as you can, you and either the ### Police or "in it for the numbers."
GROW UP.

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JulieLinn
US
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Aug 18, 2015 1:30 pm EDT

Dear Complainers, You all scare me. I have been a member for almost 6 years and when I get edits I am thrilled because I want my memorials to be as accurate as possible. You seem to think that getting an edit, i.e., following FAQs is akin to Nazi, Germany. I, too, am a Row Mower and for a person who "mows the rows" edits should mostly be dates, places and links, with the possibility of obit information, because the information is right there for us to see in the picture.
### is not a Family Tree/Genealogy program for free, its a TOOL for people to use to document or find someone. That is, in my opinion, the single biggest issue that separates the unhappy complainers from the ones doing it correctly. Also, it takes quite a bit of FAQ breaking to become what is known as RNA. I have a cousin to whom I gave over our family cemetery memorials for him to manage. Unbeknownst to me, he got an RNA status, when I found out I had them transferred back to me. When I contacted my cousin, you know what he said, "I screwed up." He had been pretty blatantly abusing the BU status and when he was warned several times, he didnt take it seriously. He owned up. Maybe you all need to own up.
For the person who said to complain to Ancestry. Well, when you do send an email to ###, they are Ancestry employees already, however, think about this. Ancestry is a mess, an absolute mess, I hear all the time about massive amounts of bad, incorrect, undocumented, etc., information. Do you know why? BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU DIDNT WANT TO FOLLOW THE RULES. Do you really want that for ###?
I would love it if ### would hire me to be someone to police the memorials, I would do it for free, truly. I would pay them to let me, if I win the lottery on Wednesday. I think it is that important. Remember, our time here is nothing but a blip and in 100 years, I want my descendants to see that I did the best I could with the information I had.
I am not a genealogist, I think that is mostly the problem. My thoughts, my opinion, is that those who scream they are Genealogists are exactly like those that scream they are Good Christians, they aren't either one, good or otherwise. Those that may indeed be actual Genealogists wouldn't EVER try to take over a tool like ###. They would see that the person they are looking for is in the system and know where to go to get their own documentation from there. That is how a true Genie would behave. No professional Genie would use ### for anything other than a tool and a new lead or starting place. It is because of our VOLUNTEER work, that they get these leads, but still the work needs to be accurate.
My last peeve with people who complain about ### is that yelling at the top of your lungs the hours and hours and HOURS you have sacrificed for ### and then you got booted. Why in the heck would anyone in their right mind want to put in thousands of hours incorrectly? If you are just unable to follow the FAQs why don't you start your own website? Then you can make your own rules and be happy.

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Alpha Papa
US
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Feb 25, 2018 10:27 am EST
Replying to comment of JulieLinn

The problem with so many like you though, is that you mark your bio page "not accepting messages" and its hard to edit to add, say, a sibling that is not already there.. I have had this issue over my own family pages, ppl who refuse to edit correctly.. example.. My uncle was listed as being the son of his grandparents and his aunts and uncles.. when initally approached politely and asked to fix her mistake she came back at all of us as a rabid nutcase..when asked to transfer ownership of the pages to me, or my cousin she refused.. we tracked her down and used a lawyer to get her to transfer ownership, sadly she, out of immature spite, transferred to other ppl who were happy to fix the mistakes... for some reason though, no one will add my dad as a sibling or a son..
what I and other family find reprehensible is the tramping all over a privately owned cemetery owned by the plot holders privately.. not asking if it is okay to photograph the headstones for public consumption. This has led to board discussions on whether or not to shut the gates permanently to non family without a key. you ppl get what you reap... as a board member I voted to shut the public.. I offered personally to bear the cost of the new gate locks..

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JaneElroy
US
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Nov 28, 2018 2:39 pm EST
Verified customer This complaint was posted by a verified customer. Learn more
Replying to comment of Alpha Papa

Having messages enabled on your PROFILE has nothing whatsoever to do with getting changes made to a memorial. Many of us shut off the messages because people left corrections there instead of using the proper procedure. I'm literally rolling on the floor laughing about using a lawyer to get management of a Find A Grave memorial. What a total crock.
Also, if the cemetery is open to public visitation, ANYONE can visit and photograph. Permission from the family is not necessary. Even if the gates are closed to non-members, any grave that can be seen from a public thoroughfare (street or sidewalk) or from neighboring property can be photographed. If something is in public VIEW, it can be legally photographed.

ComplaintsBoard
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11:54 am EST

Find A Grave protects stalkers and harassments

I signed up with this website 7 years ago... added 2 people I knew, NEVER HAD A PROBLEM BEFORE, thought they had their act together, until one of my own passed on, so I made a memorial for her since her sister decided to have a friend post an obituary in a newspaper cuting out the entire family and claiming to be the only living relative, whats the next thing?, Well here they all come, posting on Find a Grave Website on this memorial made, I even got an email from one of the whacks that are a friend and big trouble maker of the deceased and her sister, I got called mental, every name in the book, chasitized for posting a warning to this friend not to come on here and post that they are not welcomed etc.

Well When I seen the display of sarcasmn, ridicule and slander... I wrote to the Administrator telling them to remove ALL of them except the ones that posted long before they did... oh they removed them alright but only left the sister up there when I made it clear to remove her because shes been following me all over, attacking me etc, yeah I reported it to every offical I could but it seems these people have more rights to slander and libel then we do when we are trying to respect their precious rules, gag me!

If anyone sets up an account on this site they will be sorry and I do have the proof to back it up, I have had do delete the deceased's account 3 times now restarting a new one, they found it each time, posting and bugging. I dont know why anyone would expect someone to tolerate this type of behavior and not say a word or defend themselves, it seems just about every State has these lil glitches protecting this type of trash, I have no respect for this and its been now nearly 2 months since the deceased passed on which by the way was Dec 25, 2010 by method of hanging, yes she committed suicide. Remember all your privacy is not private. This took place in another state from where I am, on top of this the deceased's aunt who is a C.S.W happily gave out the phone number and possibly my where abouts to the sister which she was not suppose to do, because where this is not even my own house nor is the phone in my name and it's really caused allot of friction and problems with the person whom does pay the bills here, I think thats messed up to allow someone to put your living status at risk on top of this crap! So take aim people, we all are being stabbed in the back by liars!

And even if putting a complaint on here dont get nothing done, I am within my rights to freedom of speech! MY FIRST AMENDMENT! I hope its yours as well! God Bless you all! Good luck with the TRUST value, its 0 in my book!

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Mindgamesonme
Pocatello, US
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Nov 04, 2022 8:14 pm EDT

Scary that the administrators are messing with me. I am terrified they will remove my account and I will lose years of information. But I have been fighting for a year over this mess. But you cant fight administrators. Even when you show proof of relationships. They steal your family and torture you with it. I made the [censored] page they took and they merged with someone else, deleted the original person and added all my family to it. I Need HELP

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Mindgamesonme
Pocatello, US
Send a message
Nov 04, 2022 8:10 pm EDT

I feel your pain, except I have administrators stealing my family and then trying to tell me they are not my family. Now this so called administrator is changing my familys information on FamilySearch. Person is not related to my family at all. These photos dont include all the messages I made to this person personally. I am terrified to get kicked off Findagrave after so many years of work. I sent them a copy of my family tree showing them my relationship and they tell me he is not who I said he was? I am at a loss and I see that the only person Messaging me back is Amber. Kinda funny. NOT.

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Marthann Kohl-Fuhs
Defiance, US
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Jan 24, 2017 1:26 pm EST
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There are a couple of members in particular, who cyber stalk memorials and replace with a duplicate, then get yours deleted, even your OWN FAMILY! And the Admin. does not give a darn!

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Becky Bergstrom
US
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Sep 01, 2018 3:28 pm EDT
Replying to comment of Marthann Kohl-Fuhs

What can be done? Work as a team. There is someone whom has a solution.

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Marthann Kohl-Fuhs
Defiance, US
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Jan 22, 2017 7:13 am EST
Verified customer This complaint was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

Why is it that certain members of Find A Grave seem to think they are the cops and can flood your email with orders to fix this or that memorial? It is cyber stalking and cyber bullying and the administrators don't care. I thought once Ancestry.com took over it would help, but it hasn't.

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Becky Bergstrom
US
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Sep 01, 2018 3:30 pm EDT
Replying to comment of Marthann Kohl-Fuhs

They are one in the same. Found out on the internet.

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ОЛИВЬЕ
US
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Jan 11, 2017 7:26 pm EST

WHEN YOU GO MORE ON FINDAGRAVE EVEN YOU WOULD ALSO WISH TO SUICIDE. FINDAGRAVE ARE FULL OF DEAD PEOPLE AND FAMILY AND FREIND LOVE/CARE/SUPPORT MESSAGE

THOSE WHO DONT HAVE STRONG FAITH, DONT GO FINDAGRAVE.
MANY PEOPLE ORIGINALLY NOT SUICIDE, BUT WHEN THEY VISIT FINDAGRAVE OR FUNERAL SITES,
THEY ALL SUICIDE AND DIED. YES FINDAGRAVE DO ENCOURAGE SUICIDE.

IF SOMEONE IS SUICIDAL, DO NOT VISIT FINDAGRAVE.

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ОЛИВЬЕ
US
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Jan 11, 2017 7:22 pm EST

ONLINE PEOPLE HAVE SAD PEOPLE. IF ANYONE CAN'T EVEN GET ALONG WITH ME, I WOULD SAY i DONT COMMUNICATE WITH THEM TO AVOID THEM REPORTING WITHOUT PROPER REASON.

PLUS FINDAGRAVE UNFAIRLY BAN PEOPLE.

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Marthann Kohl-Fuhs
Defiance, US
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Jan 11, 2017 11:41 am EST
Verified customer This complaint was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

I have had several of the members of Find A Grave Stalking and Harassing me. They must have a sad life with nothing better to do.

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ОЛИВЬЕ
US
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Jan 11, 2017 7:23 pm EST
Replying to comment of Marthann Kohl-Fuhs

IGNORE BAD PEOPLE. FINDAGRAVE CAN BAN ANY PERSON PROFILE JUST BECAUSE THEY ONE PERSON REPORT YOU. FINDAGRAVE IS RIDICULOUS SITE

Overview of Find A Grave complaint handling

Find A Grave reviews first appeared on Complaints Board on Dec 8, 2010. The latest review Cyberbullying was posted on Mar 18, 2025. The latest complaint theft was resolved on Aug 23, 2012. Find A Grave has an average consumer rating of 1 stars from 84 reviews. Find A Grave has resolved 2 complaints.
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