Find A Gravescam

A
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Find a grave.com photographed my 6 year old daughter's headstone and put it online. I was aghast when it popped up on my monitor. I have contacted the prosecutor and state police. The prosecutor says that I can file a civil complaint about this infringement against the guy who took and posted the picture. This person will not answer my emails and the police have located him. I feel this infringes on my privacy, copyright laws and personal property of mine being placed on the internet for advertising purposes. I'll write again to let everyone know the outcome of this.

Responses

  • El
    Elizabeth Dickinson Nov 03, 2019
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    Several times I've asked for corrections on my Mother's memorials. Nothing has been done and I'm upset!

    There are spelling errors and incorrect info. How may I get my issues addressed? I have contacted find a grave through their website and received one response but no corrections!

    2 Votes
  • Je
    JeffreyDean Mar 12, 2021

    @Elizabeth Dickinson Just so you know. Findagrave.com user terms require anyone managing a memorial to turn management control over to a direct relative when requested. Create a findagrave.com account and then click "suggest edits" and then there will be an option to request management of the memorial. Send that to the person clearly outlining your direct relationship. Be aware, many of these idiots will NOT give you management and when you contact findagrave.com they don't care. They do nothing about it. So, it's a crap shoot, but some do turn them over.

    1 Votes
  • St
    Styck Sep 30, 2019
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    When I started genealogy research 2 years ago I was grateful to find information on loved ones. But this past month has been a nightmare. Was unaware of postings for my 8 year old daughter and recently deceased mother-in-law. Contacted manager of my daughter's "site" who has refused to remove information I object to from daughter's bio or agree to transfer the memorial to me. My daughter was kidnapped, sexually assaulted and murdered and the manager posted numerous newspaper articles about this in the bio section. Seriously? Why would anyone think it's OK to post biographical information like this about an 8 year old? Since my daughter's crime is unsolved I have reported this to the detectives on the case. My mother-in-law's site is totally inaccurate; says where she's buried. However she has not had a burial service, I'm looking at her urn right now and her obituary stated "private internment held at a later date". Yet the "manager" of this site refuses to correct the error after I informed them that I'm a family member and provided them with a link to the named cemetery which lists the names of all individuals buried there. Manager bases their reasoning for not correcting this on a cemetery advertisement that was below my loved one's obituary and responded that "you don't know what you're talking about." It's bad players like these that makes you question the motives of some of the [censored] contributors.

    5 Votes
  • Je
    JeffreyDean Mar 12, 2021

    @Styck Just so you know. Findagrave.com user terms require anyone managing a memorial to turn management control over to a direct relative when requested. Create a findagrave.com account and then click "suggest edits" and then there will be an option to request management of the memorial. Send that to the person clearly outlining your direct relationship. Be aware, many of these idiots will NOT give you management and when you contact findagrave.com they don't care. They do nothing about it. So, it's a crap shoot, but some do turn them over.

    1 Votes
  • Th
    The Lost Hour May 10, 2019
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    I am not going to get into a long heated debate with anyone on here so let me get that out of the way first. Second, for anyone on here who has lost a loved one and finds the work we do (freely without pay and out of the kindness of our hearts... most of us anyway) "disgusting, or that it infringes on your privacy, copyright laws and personal property", I am sorry that you feel that way. My condolences to you and your family.

    Next... disgusting is a point of view. I find the time that I put in is 99.9% of the time greatly appreciated by family that is looking to connected to those ancestors or family members that have left this world. I do it because it helps many people to feel closer to a loved one. And if we are being honest, in the moments of grief and loss no one wants to look like an *** by taking a photo at the funeral and the pain families struggle with for weeks, months and even years later prevent most families from ever doing it. Most of us do it to honor your family member and to ensure in 100 years, their descents have a way to feel more connected. You might be surprised to know that many people find the image of their ancestor's headstone more real than a photo of them taken when they were alive.

    Next... Unless a person trespasses on to a privately owned plot/cemetery that is NOT owned or operated by a non-profit or the county/state, we are not infringing on your privacy. There are very few privately owned cemeteries in the US. Graves do not have copyrights either. Copyrights are used for written material for the purpose of "making lawful copies". Furthermore, nobody actually "owns" a grave. While the gravesite or plot is purchased and owned by the person who will be buried there, or by a family member as needed when someone passes, it cannot be sold (thus it is not property owned). It is essentially a long term lease from the cemetery. The actual property is owned by the cemetery or county/state and what you, me and the rest of the world "owns" is the space set aside for our loved ones.

    I know this might be making some of you angry and further irritated with us "disgusting gravers", but the reality is no laws are broken by taking a photo of a headstone. For all legal purposes, it is not your loved one, it is a memorial for your loved one. You put it there to honor them and share your love for them in a public place for anyone who is in the cemetery to see, behold and treasure for generations to come. Being bitter and calling people names because you are upset is wrong. Not everyone who takes photos of graves is unwilling to respond. Not everyone who provides this service (and yes it is a service... maybe not to you NOW but to future generations who will be very happy someone like me gifted my time and love for family history to make sure their ancestor could be found.. definitely).

    All in all, I will say it again. I am sorry that your loved one has passed. My heart goes out to you. I don't know who took your daughter's photo (or anyone else in here). What I do know is this... tracking down ancestor graves is HARD work. I can spend DAYS combing a cemetery with over 15, ooo headstones to find just one. But when I find it, post it and notify the requestor that are overjoyed. For me, THAT is worth all the complaining offered by a few families who are upset their loved one's photo is on **** or any other site. If anyone asks me to remove their family members headstone I will gladly do so, if you can prove you are a direct relative. Why? Because you are not their ONLY relative and others requested or may want to see it.

    Comments

    4 Votes
  • Fi
    Fish1452 Jul 12, 2018

    I think Find a Grave is a great site, but, I'm a little concerned with some certain people postings, especially on my ancestors that have been posted by people who do not do the research or who put in the wrong information. That shows me they DID NOT do the research correctly on the memorial. For example, I have a cousin whose memorial was posted, no picture of the headstone, no information on all her pass husbands ( she was married 6 times, only one mentioned because it was on her obituary which was posted in an El Paso, Texas newspaper. I looked at this persons profile and it showed this person had over 1, 000.000 memorials posted, only been a member for 5 years. That also shows me that this person's hobby is spending constant hours on Find a Grave for her/his number count. I've got 10 memorials, TEN, and have been a member for 14 years on Find a Grave. So what does that tell you about this person with over 1, 000, 000 memorials added??

    4 Votes
  • Ar
    Arwhen Jun 23, 2018

    Hun, Your daughter's grave and headstone are in a PUBLIC PLACE...people use find a grave for RESEARCH reasons, and to SAVE these names for posterity...they do it because THEY CARE..not for any money or fame . MANY people are SEARCHING for their relatives, and they can not afford to fly to every cemetery in America...Thank God people CARE ENOUGH to go to the cemeteries and take pictures, and post them on the ONLY FREE SITE of it's kind, find a grave! In memory of your daughter, why don't you start a family tree of your own, for your relatives and descendants to enjoy. That way she will be REMEMBERED, and not forgotten ...

    4 Votes
  • Jo
    Johnny The Critic Jan 20, 2018
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    Well for all the money findagrave is apparently making if they want my help fulfilling the hundreds of requests in my local graveyard then they'e going to have to pull some money out of that old sock and put up. I got a kick from this off their faq page:

    Can I charge money as a Photo Volunteer?

    No. Find A Grave does not allow Photo Volunteers to charge money for volunteering.

    ^^^^^Seems to me that they are taking advantage of the people doing the photography. Sure, sure if you're anal enough to enjoy all that cataloging and picture takin, etc then fine, but your getting screwed and smiling about it... Might want to learn some self respect. Get those cheap skates to pay you! They're making a tidy bundle off of your work.

    -2 Votes
  • Ty
    Tylercat May 18, 2018
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    @Johnny The Critic Many people enjoy walking through cemeteries and taking pictures. They are getting fresh air and exercise. Mostly we are retired in any case. Imagine if people were making money from posting these photos. The site would consist solely of faked pictures. In many cases the correct markers can't be located or definitely identified, especially when they are old. So then what, do you expect to get paid anyway? Nobody is asking you to do anything so don't worry about it.

    3 Votes
  • Ar
    Arwhen Jun 23, 2018

    @Johnny The Critic Find a grave is a free site for all

    0 Votes
  • Pa
    Parrot person Jan 21, 2021
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    @Arwhen Findagrave is a profitable business. There are ads on most pages from which they make revenue, and they charge family members to remove the ads from their loved one's profile.

    1 Votes
  • Ma
    Mark Gassaway Carter Nov 10, 2017
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    I feel sorry for you, and I can understand about feeling like you have been exploited.At the same time though if It had not been for find a grave .com. I could not have been able to see my fathers grave plot at all. I live in central Va. and my father's plot is in Elliott City, there . My complaint is with the new change to the website, I lost the links that were on the old webpage that linked my family members together. All the information I had compiled on John Hanson Gassaway2 . just disappeared ? The info on him was compiled by several members, and info from members of the Montgomery county Md. Historical Society. We had collected written history of his life and contributions to Montgomery county Md. All that info is gone now! This politically correct world is becoming ridicules when we can't even tell historical facts about people .One of my relatives committed suicide because his wife left him do to he drank to much . all the info that told about who he was related to, and the story that was in the newspaper is gone from his web site now . There was facks about my Grate grand mother that had been compiled on his web site telling where she was born in Ireland, all the exact details about her life, Who her brother was ? things I will never get back now. I am wandering am I, going to have to pay Ancestery .Com now for all the info that was suppose to be free on find. A Grave .Com ?

    0 Votes
  • Fy
    fydor Oct 13, 2017

    The information on six posts are false and falsely placed according to statements of family and or records listed. family names are listed incorrectly, incorrect spellings of names, incorrect places of birth, incorrect pictures of where bodies are buried and, incorrect lineage noted. information was given on three people is on people that are still alive ; so cause of death listed incorrectly, since people are still alive, not d e a d!!! I am not dead, yet!!!
    this fraud is a sociopathic means of lying and a person getting their false praise and getting money for their prostitution.

    -4 Votes
  • Ar
    Arwhen Jun 23, 2018

    @fydor SO HELP OUT! send in corrections! everyone wants the records to be as correct as we can get them!
    no one is getting money for doing this work...

    2 Votes
  • Ro
    Rory Bowers Jun 28, 2017
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    STRONGLY Agree. Find A Grave contributors are not responsible for the content of the memorials they create. As a result, misspelled names, incorrect dates of birth and dates of death, unrelated family members... and the list goes on, are written in these memorials. It is both hurtful and embarrassing to family members. Find A Grave is eventually going to be sued and it will undoubtedly take down the site and their business. All because they are not respectful of families and not responsible for the content.

    -2 Votes
  • Ar
    Arwhen Jun 23, 2018

    @Rory Bowers SO HELP OUT! send in corrections! everyone wants the records to be as correct as we can get them!

    2 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    You must ask permission from the deceased person's family before you take those headstone photos. This is very basic courtesy.
    Ask for permission. Not just steal.

    Even when you use facebook other person photo, u must also ask owner permission. Unless you really know that person, u can directly share or steal. Even if it's only photo share, if you not ask owner. Owner block you. Are you going to say "facebook is public, not yours. If you not wish photo being shared, dont put"

    Are you going to blame the owner (Photo copyright owner) by saying that facebook is really public, every photo you put can be stolen anytime by any online person. If you really not wish photo being f###ed by starngers, dont put them on line

    Man it's their photo not your photo.

    The headstone is the dead and their family, not yours.

    This is not even "precious hard work" when you steal the headstone photo and put on your own findagrave.com

    Findagrave has a rule, family and friend of dead can report stolen headstone photo to findagrave staff and staff can remove the page down and suspend that member (Creator)

    -4 Votes
  • Se
    SerenitySoul Dec 08, 2017

    @ОЛИВЬЕ @ОЛИВЬЕ, no one has to ask permission to photograph a headstone.

    2 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    Stealing ppl headstone on your camera and put online on your own findagrave page, is not even hard work, it's vandalism

    -2 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    Reading sharon haywood post i just wanna laugh at her.

    She said "you can not ruin people precious hard work" which makes me underlook her.

    She means, if she goes around grave, to glorify herself and her findagrave records. She can even risk to take grave photos unauthorized

    This is not hard work. This is not precious. This is stealing/theft/vandalism.
    And sharon shout out loud "this is my precious hard work"

    Precious hard work needs to respect copyright, do u understand, sharon haywood
    Not you wish to steal you go steal, then claim that photo is own by yourself. Do u know.

    You must ask permission from the deceased person's family before you take those headstone photos. This is very basic courtesy.
    Ask for permission. Not just steal.

    Even when you use facebook other person photo, u must also ask owner permission. Unless you really know that person, u can directly share or steal. Even if it's only photo share, if you not ask owner. Owner block you. Are you going to say "facebook is public, not yours. If you not wish photo being shared, dont put"

    Are you going to blame the owner (Photo copyright owner) by saying that facebook is really public, every photo you put can be stolen anytime by any online person. If you really not wish photo being f###ed by starngers, dont put them on line

    Man it's their photo not your photo.

    The headstone is the dead and their family, not yours.

    This is not even "precious hard work" when you steal the headstone photo and put on your own findagrave.com

    Findagrave has a rule, family and friend of dead can report stolen headstone photo to findagrave staff and staff can remove the page down and suspend that member (Creator)

    -3 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    your daughter photo is not their property but your property, this site has problems of using other person photo. especially if the girl is even NOT DEAD YET. this is serious violation to your daughter's personal image/reputation. because if her friends/her classmates/classmates parents. see that photo on findagrave site.

    what is findagrave, answer me. yes it's funeral site. people would mistaken that she had died. this is quite/very serious. especially towards Chinese superstitious people. they think that, if your photo is put there, you will die fast. the site should really remove that photo especially if your 6-yr daugther had not died.
    putting undead people photo on die site. think how bad it would mean. not all people know your daughter had not really died.
    yes ask findagrave admin delete that photo. but you know sir. internet is free to use. if you put your daughter photo online, anyone can also use it without letting you know
    you are lucky enough to find findagrave steal your daughter photo but it's just a fortune you find out, many people online may use your daughter photos already. better not put personal photos online(esp girl naked photos)

    -4 Votes
  • Be
    Beverley Groen-Johns May 03, 2016
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    When someone has refused to transfer a grave site, I have gone on and duplicated it with an explanation. When I add names, etc. I gladly turn them over to family members who want to put information and pictures. I feel it is their family member and they should be allowed to honor them. Then someone sends a correction I will ask if they are family. It isn't about money or the amount of headstones I can download, it is about carrying on family history. I am amazed at people who have done 20, 000+ headstones, don't they have a life. I have been in a cemetery when a church group of about 30 swooped in and started downloading headstones. By the time I got home 2 hours later my family was already loaded. Wasted my time...Find A Grave has changed a lot since it changed hands. Not happy about it.

    1 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    @Beverley Groen-Johns now findagrave deletes burial records and members now. findagrave can no longer secure any dead grave names.

    0 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    @Beverley Groen-Johns now findagrave even suspended me and deleted my dead freind burial records. nobody would really be happy with findagrave anymore.!

    0 Votes
  • St
    Stolen Family Mar 07, 2016
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    I wanted to create a memorial for my grandfather and grandmother on Find A Grave. When I checked, I fond that somebody already did and the info is all wrong as well. I asked for a transfer but got NO RESPONSE.
    Does it occur to them that maybe just maybe its a memorial site and that the FAMILY might want to create the memorial and have correct information on their loved ones memorials.
    Yes, I know what they are supposed to do.. They are supposed to transfer but don't.
    God forbid you had a famous relative??

    2 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    @Stolen Family if you harass the creatoer or the grave page owner, they will report you harass them and they will ban your profile in findagrave.

    0 Votes
  • Mi
    Missy25 Dec 30, 2015

    A trojan virus downloaded onto my computer when I was on Find A Grave and clicked on a family name within a memorial. My computer system is set up to alert me if something downloads without my permission so it was caught almost immediately. I tried to inform Find A Gave of the issue but to no avail. They just would not listen. They don't care if their site is riddled with viruses and unsuspecting computer catch it. Sad, because I do not want to return to the site now.

    2 Votes
  • Ma
    Marthann Kohl-Fuhs Jun 25, 2015
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    I had been a member for several years. Added almost 3000 memorials. And almost as many gravestone photos. Some person going by Ladybug (member #[protected]) {note doesn't even use a REAL name, address, email, etc.} - had parents of someone posted in the wrong cemetery, so I photocopied the page from the cemetery book & posted it on the pages for her parents to show correct place of burial, Ladybug threw a fit, reported me & I got the boot; Ladybug was rude as heck to me in several emails, but I guess that doesn’t matter. I didn’t even get an email from Find A Grave to warn me.
    I can still look at stuff, I just can’t add anything, correct anything, or do ANYTHING at all. Not even the ones I paid to sponsor!!

    3 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    @Marthann Kohl-Fuhs actually you should not find ladybug person. they suspended you like how they suspended me right today.

    if you harass someone they will report to Findagrave staff and your account will be ban

    -2 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    @Marthann Kohl-Fuhs Ladybug is just one of those rude f## people. Many f## people are very unfriednly

    -2 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    @Marthann Kohl-Fuhs when ladybug reported you, findagrave banned you so you can NOT see anything

    -2 Votes
  • Ri
    richard_blunk Apr 10, 2015

    I've created over a thousand memorials and thousands of photos, some were by request, others not. I've received over 100 thank you emails from people who were searching for a loved one and happened upon the memorial or the photo of the loved one or their headstone. I've only received 1 complaint telling me (mind you not asking me) to remove the memorial. I respect a families wishes whenever possible but in this instance it appears it was his daughter wanting it removed although her siblings wanted it to stay. I asked that they please have the spouse or parents of that person contact me and I'd be glad to do whatever they wished but I wouldn't remove it from just that email. I never heard back so it's still there. ----- And as far as "trampling on a grave" I am ALWAYS careful to NOT step on any grave (provided there's still any indication of one) and use my zoom lens instead. ----- I can't tell you how many old cemeteries I've documented that were in such total disrepair and vandalism that you couldn't read the stones even after you put them back together. THAT's THE REAL DISHONOR. They need to be documented while they still exist so future family members can honor their memory too. I think it's very selfish to want to keep them to yourself. Stone doesn't last forever . . . especially those from earlier days.

    7 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    @richard_blunk the email is from his daughter (she claim it's his daughter) but sounds like it's pretending his daughter.

    -2 Votes
  • Si
    singatune Nov 20, 2014
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    I arrived on this page because I just had a conversation with my husband that when I pass away not to have an obituary published in newspaper and to only have a headstone with my name, no date of birth or death. I also discussed talking to attorney to see if I could get some type of restraining order to prohibit my grave site from appearing on ###. I want to RIP. I am a private person in life and I want privacy when I die. If that means I have a rock to mark my burial site, so be it. I can see that people have different points of few, but some posts here have been rather tackless, almost cruel and cruel. I hope in the near future that there will be a legal challenge to ### as to whether they have a property right to post gravesites without permission for those who have passed away "after" a set period of time, similar to release of census records. Finally, ### is neither all bad or all good, but some issues need to be addressed in civilized matter and in fairness to all users.

    2 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    @singatune I agree with you Singatune,

    because findagrave should NOT allow people take unauthorized headstone and claim "DEAD PEOPLE PRIVACY IS GONE"

    -3 Votes
  • Sh
    Sharon Haywood Nov 15, 2014

    Every one listen, this website is a blessing to everyone that's on it, it was put here to view memorials and find peace. It was not put here for it to be a tug of war or a battleground everyone must follow the rules and regulations and not step on anyone's feet. deleting precious hard work that someone has done is very disrespectful. I have visit grave site that someone had taken a picture of headstones by the time I got there years later the headstone was clean and more visible. I took a picture of that visible headstone and attach it to the memorial I did not delete someone else work that is totally disrespectful. we are adults providing precious information to those who cannot visit a grave site. Be mindful of what you say and you must have respect in dealing with this. I have only been a member maybe 6 months I would never delete anyones work. so please everyone do not turn this beautiful website into a horror story. There was a find a grave worker in Bastrop County, Texas I made a photo request of one of my great great great uncle who was born in the 1800's this gentleman took his time to go and take that picture when it was uploaded on the website and I got a email that the pictures once there I was in tears and was so grateful because I do not live near the county.So will everyone please calm down and do not turn this into a savage match, because this website is a blessing to some of us maybe not all but there are some of us out here that appreciate this website and wish it to stay on the website. God bless you all !

    3 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    @Sharon Haywood it's your choice to take unauthorized headstone and put on findagrave. ti's not "HARD WORK. " or "PRECIOUS HARD WORK"

    theft is wrong. unless you really know that person
    if you not know the person, you take their headstone, put on findagrave. their family and freinds HAD EVERY RIGHTS TO ASK FINDAGRAVE REMOVE THAT RECORD

    -4 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    @Sharon Haywood Sharon Haywood. answer me one thing. are you saying that STEALING PEOPLE HEADSTONE WITHOUT AUTHORIZE IS CALLED PRECIOUS HARD WORK

    if realy so (if so). you regretted your parents and teachers who teach you every knowledge.

    -3 Votes
  • Sd
    sdm1995 Aug 21, 2014

    I am absolutely revolted! My sister's grave is on this site, Eilleen Sien of Colonia, N.J Contacted me by phone and Face Book, my Family DID NOT WANT this information posted! I told her I would not give her the death notice or pictures, she harassed me and it was done anyway without our knowledge. It is a disgusting desecration on my sister's grave and memory!! I really do not care what other people think, or if it is public record. Did I post the information of the drunk teenager that killed her? NO I DID NOT! My sister's children are in their 20's they do not want to go to or see her grave. TAKE IT DOWN you ###!!!

    -3 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    @sdm1995 if NJ harass, report to findagrave. they will ban her.

    -1 Votes
  • Ru
    Ruby_Ruby Jun 18, 2014

    The whole point of a grave stone is to publicly honor the person's life. Whether that is seen in person or photographed and posted online, I guess I don't see the difference. I understand how it would feel really wrong to have a young child, recently gone, posted on the site but I really don't think there's much to be done about it. The information is public, online or not. Everyone feels differently about this though. I've done a small number of photo requests from the site at a local cemetery. That is, relatives asking that someone who lives locally go document a grave because they can't do so themselves.

    I don't love how Find A Grave is run and it irks me that much of the information on the site is really terribly inaccurate, but presented in a manner that makes many people take it as fact, and impossible to correct or contribute to with the territorial attitude that the managing of memorials seems to foster. However, I owe much to volunteers on the site who have posted information that I would never have been able to obtain without a major roadtrip with a quick visit to the website. It's a wonderful starting point for research, though I'd never, ever take anything I found on the site as credible in itself.

    For what it is worth, when I fulfill a photo request, I never stand on a grave. There's an etiquette to these things, whether anyone follows it or not.

    4 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
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    @Ruby_Ruby Ruby is right. I dont like findagrave too. Non related people can steal your family (Dead family dead friends) photo/headstone, and put online in their name on creator list, when you ask them transfer to you, they said no and even claim to staff you harass they. Then you are suspended. Nobody would love f## site.

    -1 Votes
  • Te
    Terran57 Jun 18, 2014
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    I lost my daughter in 1978. She was an infant and her headstone on find a grave is a way of keeping her memory alive with some
    who never knew her. I don't see the point in the complaint. I don't see reasons for the anguish.

    Do you want your child forgotten? If so, why get a headstone in the first place, just use a rock so you can find her. I mean, it's a "public" cemetery, not one in private family hands and as mentioned in a earlier post, when you die the privacy is gone, period. So I am very sorry for your loss, as I still have not gotten over mine, fortunately for me, I now have a nine year old granddaughter from my
    son. Doesn't bring back my daughter, but at least helps. Filing a complaint with local law enforcement though, is just plain wrong, a
    waste of taxpayer money. If you don't want her known, then remove her headstone or put her in a more private place (urn). Sorry if that sounds harsh, but yes I have been there, and what your feeling now, will not be shared by other relatives 50 years from now as they look at your daughters memorial with love or to research their kin.

    5 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
    This comment was posted by
    a verified customer
    Verified customer

    @Terran57 dead people have no privacy (when people die privacy is gone) it's not right. everyone should be equal and should have privacy. having headstone does not mean they can not enjoy privacy.

    -3 Votes
  • Te
    Terran57 Jun 18, 2014
    This comment was posted by
    a verified customer
    Verified customer

    I lost my daughter in 1978. She was an infant and her headstone on find a grave is a way of keeping her memory alive with some who never knew her. I don't see the point in the complaint. I don't see the anguish. Do you want your child forgotten? If so, why get a headstone in the first place, just use a rock so you can find her. I mean, it's a "public" cemetery, not one in private family hands and as mentioned in a earlier post, when you die the privacy is gone, period. So I am very sorry for your loss, as I still have pot gotten over mine, fortunately for me, I now have a nine year old granddaughter from my son. Doesn't bring back my daughter, but at least helps. Filing a complaint with local law enforcement though, is just plain wrong, a waste of taxpayer money. If you don't want her known, then remove her headstone or put her in a more private place (urn). Sorry if that sounds harsh, but yes I have been there, and what your feeling now, will not be shared by other relatives 50 years from now as they look at your daughters memorial.

    3 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
    This comment was posted by
    a verified customer
    Verified customer

    @Terran57 I was born in 1978 but sorry for your daughter

    -1 Votes
  • It
    ItsALLrelative Jun 18, 2014

    I have been a member of Find-A-Grave for close to 9 months and submitted over a thousand photos and memorials that many people are grateful to find. It all boils down to how well you play with others. We are all individuals of different expectations of this site. And we are all volunteers. We all have ancestors we like to memorialize. Sometimes someone doesn't live up to our expectations. That's life. It's only a website. I thank them for their time and move on. Sometimes if you ask nicely, someone will comply with your wishes. Sometimes if you initiate polite conversation, they will comply or explain why they won't. Again, it's only a website overrun by volunteers so move on. Learn how to play nice.

    2 Votes
  • My
    myself33 Jun 18, 2014
    This comment was posted by
    a verified customer
    Verified customer

    If you do not want others to see you name or your daughter's do not put it on the stone. Anyone walking a cemetery can find DOB. The dead have no right to privacy. I find a lot of family history in find a grave. Billion graves have a lot of stones too. As for Obit's find a grave dose say not to add names of living family members but some people still add them.

    -1 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
    This comment was posted by
    a verified customer
    Verified customer

    @myself33 you have no right to privacy. dead person family can still object if they dont want. that is why the remaining family can judge for the dead person. if you think dead has no privacy, WRONG. all people have their own rights or privacy even if they die. they have family/friends help them compete for the right and privacy.

    2 Votes
  • Cr
    Cramer 1961 Jun 17, 2014

    Wow...most of you really need to get a life. As for memorials being an invasion of privacy, while I feel for the woman who didn't want her daughter's stone put up on the website, if I had a photo up and a family member asked me to remove it I would. As for it being private, we all are public knowledge now and after we die. I can google my name and find every city I've lived in, and all the way back to 1971 when I fell off a high diving board because its in the local newspaper. We are no longer private people. If you've done anything that was recorded, it's there. As for putting personal information on a memorial, unless they knew the person it can't be any more personal than what is public knowledge from the newspaper, an obituary, etc. My one complaint with Findagrave is that they apparently allow people to put up memorials when they have no idea where or if the person was buried. This is a cemetery site, not just a memorial site. It is a place to record cemeteries. If you don't have cemetery burial information they shouldn't be put up. If someone was cremated and the ashes given to someone, there is no cemetery. All I can add is just be respectful, if someone asks you to transfer a family member or asks you to take something down, I would go ahead and do it. It shouldn't be about having 7, 000 memorials, nor should anyone "own" a cemetery (I had an issue with a woman over that as well and finally decided the hell with her, if she didn't have one of the people buried, than I added it). If you spend gas and money doing this on your own, tough sh*t, you can't complain about anything, YOU CHOSE to do the work, get over it. This should only be about putting up memorials and helping people find their loved ones, THAT'S IT. It should be "well I've got more than you do" what are you 5? I can see why they dropped you. Go find something else to do, and remember when you're a VOLUNTEER that means YOU CHOOSE to do the work without any payment.

    1 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
    This comment was posted by
    a verified customer
    Verified customer

    @Cramer 1961 if the person died, findagrave must let the person stay in their site, even if they had not have tombstone/headstone. if findagrave not allow, it's disrespectful to that real-dead person.

    -1 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
    This comment was posted by
    a verified customer
    Verified customer

    @Cramer 1961 compete on how many records make is useless. the dead person family (headstone person family or friend) can report to findagrave that you are unauthorized then your burial record on that person will be deleted immediately.

    so, u guys can also see that, steal people family/friend funeral is stupid.

    the important is all funeral and headstone photos must be authorized and legitimate and the owner let you use. or else. family or friends can call findagrave to delete unallowed photographs on their family/friend's tombstones. and your account will be suspended.

    how many tomb photo taken is no longer a meaning anymore

    0 Votes
  • Pa
    pawnee24 Jun 17, 2014
    This comment was posted by
    a verified customer
    Verified customer

    I'm having the same problem. I can't access findagrave.com's website also. I had thought they had done something to keep me out but now I see others are having the same problem.

    0 Votes
  • Ne
    Newtt Jun 17, 2014
    This comment was posted by
    a verified customer
    Verified customer

    For some time now I have been getting the following message when trying to navagate to findagrave.com:
    This page can’t be displayed
    •Make sure the web address http://www.findagrave.com is correct.
    •Look for the page with your search engine.
    •Refresh the page in a few minutes.
    So, does anyone know what gives here?

    0 Votes
  • Sa
    sandykj Jun 17, 2014

    There is NO exploitation!!! Get over yourself. I have a son that died at 4 weeks old and is in Find A Grave. I'm not distraught. His life has been honored. I can understand if you don't want to have the picture posted, that take the steps to NICELY explain your views and request they be taken down. You can join Find A Grave free and do that. But when people get up in arms unnecessarily and raise such a fuss and push people into corner, they come back fighting and won't back down. As for Find a Grave, for the first time in many years of research, I have been able to break down brick walls that stopped me from getting anywhere in my genealogy research. I do research to honor my ancestors and the memorials left behind have not only helped me in huge ways, but I have found some of my cousins to contact and get more of the stories and details that add so much to the understanding of my ancestors and the lives they lived.

    -2 Votes
  • ОЛИВЬЕ Jan 11, 2017
    This comment was posted by
    a verified customer
    Verified customer

    @sandykj SandyKJ, your son really died, Alex daughter HAD NOT DIED. you must understand this basic difference

    -1 Votes
  • Co
    contributer Jun 17, 2014

    I had to complain to findagrave because someone posted a double headstone that had my LIVING father's dob on it. This is a danger of identity theft. This person also posted my mama's obituary which listed many living people. I did not really think it was appropriate to post my mother's headstone and obituary without the family's permission. It was most certainly not appropriate to post my father's headstone when he is alive. I also found several cousin's headstones who are very much living. The stones are just there so that detail will be taken care of when their time comes.

    -1 Votes
  • Bu
    Buddy76 Jun 17, 2014

    WOW!! so much to complain about in this world and ppl do it about ppl taking time out of there day to help others find loved ones this site makes money on ads and only if ppl sponcer a memorial like maybe they they the only family member ok maybe you are but ok maybe your not and they other family members are looking and would like to know the where abouts but you ppl dont think that do you and thats the mess of this would its all what about me me me and are kids gruw up messed up maybe insted of hatin on ppl honring your loved ones by happy someone cares enuff to horner someone else they dont know. Maybe go and complain about like kids knocking over grave markers and breaking them or maybe kids killing kids on the streets oh yeah i forgor the ppl that complain about photo of a grave maker is blind to that. Now you want to talk about complaining it pisses me off when you complaining and trying to take are freedom of speech and press away and when it hit the obituaries your loved ones is far game to the would to see and on the net. to everyone to see there is no copyright infringment on graves so until you pay for the gas and time ppl put into this and your name is so and so grave.com cry some where else

    And if you come here to complin about something it open for all to see so dont stick up for someone yes im sorry for there loss but you open mouth about something back it up this anit washington right and left [censored]es this is the net. and everybody sees it and freedom to jump on it to say what they want i mean yeah she was hearting from the loss of her child i would be to but to openly complint about she set her self up on that.

    And to the ppl and BBB ### stfu and get a life unless you spent 100s or 1000s of dollors on ###.com b/c you anit getting nowhere with that complint my god ppl really. i feel like im in jr high school he sad she said. I had dups memorials by mistake and where deleted ### gos by the first one made duh.

    Well i well give you a heads up dont wast your time nor breath on my post b/c i wont see it b/c on like you cry babies on here with no damn life but complin i wont be back but if i do i will for worn ya i will clown you so be ready to be butt hurt!!!

    -6 Votes
  • Ma
    max843 Jun 17, 2014

    I've had nothing but wonderful experiences with FindAGrave, with special thanks to those who have created memorials for everyone in a particular cemetery. And the military cemeteries.

    Through them our family has located innumerable relatives whose whereabouts were unknown - two of my grandmother's brothers, several babies we didn't even know had been born, etc. And the dates on the headstones often help confirm what is known. (Of about 2000 family memorials, I've only found five incorrect dates.)

    In addition, a long lost cousin in Copenhagen found me through FindAGrave while researching her own grandparents as have two other friends.

    (BTW our local undertaker says after death, the deceased have no rights. Both my parents requested no open casket viewing, even for family members. But because my sister-in-law gave her OK, the caskets were open.)

    2 Votes
  • Li
    Lisa Reed Jun 17, 2014

    "Findagrave" didn't photograph anything. There is no copyright to data. Do y'all have any complaints with interment.net or any of the other similar sites? Grow up.

    1 Votes
  • Li
    Lisa Reed Jun 17, 2014

    So, we're against freedom of the press now? A headstone has no right to privacy. There is no scam involved. The stupidity of the American public never ceases to amaze me.

    4 Votes
  • Li
    LilianaB Jun 04, 2014

    Hello, I have a question to ask - is there a way to get Virtual flowers turned back on after a period of time?

    Someone kept spamming a memorial I have for an ordinary person, not a famous person, so findagrave.com disabled virtual flowers and comments.

    Do they ever turn this function back on for anyone?

    Thank you... :)

    -3 Votes
  • Li
    LilianaB Jun 04, 2014

    Hello!

    -3 Votes
  • In
    Infinity2 May 25, 2014

    I wondered how the monument company I asked to design a marker for my brother was able to send me a photo of my parent’s tombstone. Decided to do a little searching today and to my horror I have found a picture of myself with my mother and father on this site. Talk about privacy violation!!! How can I get this removed as soon as possible. Do you people have ANY respect for family members still living ? losing my brother as been hard enough . Thanks for ruining my memorial day weekend.

    0 Votes
  • Si
    sisterwoman May 02, 2014

    Find a grave, I was doing genealogy and find a grave kept stating no information for the cemetery. I finally chose a cemetery they had listed that I saw my grandmother buried in, and guess what? They reported my grandmother was not there, but I could use archives.com to find her! SCAM, SCAM SCAM

    -1 Votes
  • Pa
    Pastorjack Feb 01, 2014
    This comment was posted by
    a verified customer
    Verified customer

    The love of a parent for their child can produce any type of feeling. For most of us, we know this is a memorial. We also know that most people do this out of respect and kindness and hopefully this is something that will last for years to come even longer than a stone. However, with that said, this woman's feelings are paramount and if she requested it be removed, what do you lose by doing that?
    I have enjoyed placing my family memorials and meeting some wonderful people while doing so.
    Peace.

    6 Votes

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