SUBMIT A COMPLAINT

Find A Grave / stay away

United States Review updated:

My name is Cindy McPhee, I last wrote here because I was really upset about find a grave unprofessionalism they never would explain why they turned off my account and picked on my Little sister (just because she was related to me) I at first felt taken advantage of because I had cared about the nice people and the angel's that I had flowererd and then I finally called the BBB, and when I got angry they answered me, when I was nice and friendly they ignored me, they changed my memorials to their own words and let me look like the creator still even though they took ownership of my memorials, not my grandma but the other memorial's i wrote they were murder victims, they erased that they were killed, when everyone else there has murdered victims memorials made they bullied me and let so many of the other members gossip and write horrible public board lies about me and my deceased husband "Let the dead rest, rude people at find a grave" I filed my complaint about how I was treated very poorly, and I was told they are being investigated from alot of not just the BBB but other agencies as well, if they were more professional and fair they would be ok, but since they act so rude to people who cared about their site, they show their true colors AJ, Jim tipton, Darlene this girl that thinks she owns the site, and people who are there just for flower counts and running people around like they're in high school still being bully's. I call this place Find A Gossip, They left a very sick slanderous lie gossip story about my dead husband and me for atleast 3 days over a month and I had asked nicely 4x to please erase this note since they deleted my husbands memorial, and a fake memorial took his place, they didn't care about my dead husband. I just found out it is barely off it took that long had I written it I would have been in trouble but when their people write rude lies and slanderous comments seriously defamation of character they let it stay they just now erased it because I think this is no longer a joke it's gotten serious, my sister has an account she is afraid to even get on and leave a flower for our dad and grandma, because they said they are watching her and she doesn't do anything, so threats to her go unwarranted my also my 18 yr. old has an account for his dog that was shot last christmas, they deleted his account because he was related to me also but, then restored it, he is going to the Marine's in June he did nothing and they deleted him like my sister, I spoke up so yes, they of course deleted me but my sister and son wo, obviously because they are related to me, they both don't want to go on because they don't need the lies and drama of whatever lies will be made up nest, So instead of find a grave, I call it find a gossip, I enjoyed the nice people but when the admin. people are so unfair and controlling and just plain unprofessional and have their favorites, then it becomes something totally different as long as you don't ask any questions why they are treating you or your memorials a mean way then they feel they own you. well, it's sad there, I have gotten emails from across the world that I met there and even all around the usa, about this site. It's ridiculous some people just want to see who can pass out the most flowers or who gets the most flowers so so sad, not there from there heart but like a competition. They do have some good people contributors there and they have been very caring and encouraging to me and my family. As for the people who run *** I have to say it's too bad for the way it is run. Blessings to Angels in Heaven.

Ci
Sort by: UpDate | Rating

Comments

  • Ch
      Oct 18, 2011

    Better Business Bureau. I called them once and what you are complaining about, I can assure you they brushed you off. Call all you want, but how will that help. Folks on Find A grave do not care. They belong for free and most are well adjusted adults that understand they want grave info and no more. It is not like they are going to rob a corpse for jewelry. They are dead. Plain and simple, they do not pay taxes, complain or take up any more space. And by the way, you cannot defame a dead person. They lose all their right when they die. Even Power of attorney goes away.

    -1 Votes
  • Mn
      Sep 04, 2012

    Hi Cindy,
    I am sorry you had a bad experience. I am being stalked right now by a findagrave member who has created hate blogs and linked my facebook account to it exposing minor children and vulnerable adults to attack. The FINDAGRAVE HATE Stalker BLOG has in big bold letters that Jim Tipton approves of the stalking activities. I had to report a thick file of defamatory content to the police.

    -2 Votes
  • Jc
      Dec 11, 2012

    Hi Cindy, I am sorry Chinaberry is another sociopath on the findagrave website. As you know the site attracts them in droves!!! Jim Tipton has no rules in place to keep people safe from the sociopaths like chinaberry. Chinaberry is one of those people who are unable to empathize with the rest of human population on earth. I am sorry you were harassed by people like Chinaberry. It is wrong and you should have been able to create a memorial harassment free for the people you love.

    0 Votes
  • Pa
      May 02, 2013

    My 92 year old Uncle just died on Christmas Eve 2012, we had to wait a few days for family to get here in the winter. The NIGHT BEFORE his funeral I went to Find a Grave because I am a volunteer & also do many of my own relatives. To my shock, someone had already posted his death ! Not a family member just one of the people that get such a big bang out of adding deaths of some one's family members.
    I wrote her & she acted like "what's the problem" ? I do not get why these people feel like they are in a contest to see how many additions they can add to Find A Grave ! Are they getting a cut back from the funeral homes ? Cemeteries ? What's the deal ?

    -1 Votes
  • Ly
      Aug 09, 2018

    @Papilio Happened to me, someone jumped ahead of me to enter a memorial for my father. They knew nothing about him. I complained and find a grave transfered the memorial.

    -1 Votes
  • Ha
      May 22, 2013

    Jim Tipton apparently, whether on purpose or not, encourages people to be jerks. And he gets rid of the people who are there to help others and remember the dead. If you complain or say anything he or his henchmen don't like you are banned. Find A Grave is a website equivalent of North Korea with its cult like following and viciousness.

    Part of the problem is the way Tipton set up the website in which posting and control of memorials is everything. Making it so only the manager of the memorial (or F.A.G. administrator) can make changes makes it even more so. Making it so that whoever first posts a memorial to a deceased person can control what is posted about that particular person in all of F.A.G. also makes it even more so. Frankly it should be totally about honoring the dead and helping people know more about them.

    -1 Votes
  • Sa
      Jun 17, 2014

    Ancestry.com has bought out Find A Grave. The complaints/suggestions should be turned that direction so that Find A Grave can be properly utilized for those of us doing genealogy and guidelines set down to take care of those who don't understand the importance of this site. As for the "weird" people that post; again closer monitoring needs to be instigated. Unfortunately there are idiots out there, everywhere and that is just the nature of our society. There is no respect or thought of right and wrong and those idiots will find their way to make a mockery of everything and anything just because they can. Here again the site is being blamed, not the people who misuse it. Just like everyone blames guns for all the damage they do forgetting it's the person using the gun. Let's all take the steps to correct the issues and find a happy medium that everyone can live with.

    +1 Votes
  • Ma
      Jun 25, 2015

    I am Marthann Kohl-Fuhs, Find A Grave Member #47102630


    I had been a member of Find A Grave for several years; added almost 3000 memorials; and almost as many gravestone photos.
    [I have walked & photographed almost every single cemetery in Shelby county, Iowa, which I previously posted on Iowa Gravestones.]

    Some person going by Glendora (member #46931045) tried to make corrections to my entries that were not correct, so did Diehard (member #46809256), so has GatheringMyFamily (member #47196747), so has GerbLady (member #46637511), so has Honoring our ancestors (member #46844300). so has Apollymi (member #47370881) Some person going by Ladybug (member #47122697) had parents of someone posted in the wrong cemetery, so I photocopied the page from the cemetery book & posted it on the pages for her parents to show correct place of burial, Ladybug threw a fit, reported me & I got the boot; Ladybug was rude as heck to me in several emails, but I guess that doesn’t matter.
    NOTE: these complainers don't even use a REAL name, address, email, etc. They ALL have made thousands of entries that they simply COPY from other webpages!!! Plus they seem to think they are Find A Grave “police”!!!

    I didn’t even get an email from Find A Grave to warn me of getting the boot.
    I can still look at stuff, I just can’t add anything, correct anything, or do ANYTHING at all. Not even the ones I paid to sponsor!!

    My account needs to be unlocked so I can remove content and pictures I placed on the site or at least turn them over to another member that I trust.

    -1 Votes
  • Al
      Feb 25, 2018

    @Marthann Kohl-Fuhs Meanwhile family members who see actual real discrepancies run into ppl like you who look at some page, that may or may not be accurate and argue with those of us who can prove you and the page you posted are wrong.. then when one asked that the family member, in this case my uncle's page be turned over to them to manage, they get refused... finda grave should force anyoen m anaging a page to be open to messaging..

    +1 Votes
  • De
      Aug 17, 2015

    If any of you were booted from Find A Grave, it's because YOU broke the rules. Has nothing to do with anyone else so stop blaming others and whining about it. Adding burial unknowns, plops, duplicates, copyrighted information, stolen photos - it's all YOUR choice to do this. Read the FAQ's - they are CLEAR on what to do and NOT to do. You play by the rules of the site or you put your account in jeopardy. Honestly, going to the BBB over being removed from participating in a website? Turning over a file of information to the POLICE? OMG -how childish. Even if your account is revoked, all you have to do is write an email to Customer Support and tell them you want your photos or original bios deleted from the memorials, or ask to have them transferred to another contributor if you want someone else to manage them (properly).

    +2 Votes
  • Ma
      Aug 18, 2015

    seriously deedra-dennis ???
    you are obviously one of the find a grave stalkers who have thousands of memorials that you stole from the people that actually walk, record and photo the cemeteries and had them posted on US GenWeb state & county pages

    -3 Votes
  • Al
      Feb 25, 2018

    @Marthann Kohl-Fuhs sigh... but did you ever go into a private cemetery and start taking photos without asking permission of the families? It goes to manners and the lack thereof. It also goes to trespassing in places and taking photos that familes may or may not agree to being made public.. further, then there are those who post death certificates without a families permission.. all you zealous amatuer genealogist or whatever you call yourself today bother me a great deall its shows NO respect for the living families..

    0 Votes
  • Gl
      Aug 18, 2015
    Best Best Advice

    Marthann Kohl-Fuhs, you have a lot of nerve. I do use my real name, my real email and if you followed the rules of the site, you would have not been banned. You post URLs on the bios (against the rules). You don't use the last name as shows on the tombstones (against the rules). You use obituary photos (against the rules). You post living people in the obits (against the rules). The list goes on and on. Get your facts straight before you go posting on sites like these saying the wrong thing about people who do obey the rules and still have their accounts!

    +4 Votes
  • Gl
      Aug 18, 2015

    Marthann Kohl-Fuhs, I forgot to mention all the Burial Unknowns you have listed as well as the listings you have made for LIVING people that do not belong there! You should have been banned long before you were since you don't understand the site and make up your own rules and refuse to follow the guidelines as written out in plain English.

    0 Votes
  • Ju
      Aug 18, 2015

    Dear Complainers, You all scare me. I have been a member for almost 6 years and when I get edits I am thrilled because I want my memorials to be as accurate as possible. You seem to think that getting an edit, i.e., following FAQs is akin to Nazi, Germany. I, too, am a Row Mower and for a person who "mows the rows" edits should mostly be dates, places and links, with the possibility of obit information, because the information is right there for us to see in the picture.
    ### is not a Family Tree/Genealogy program for free, its a TOOL for people to use to document or find someone. That is, in my opinion, the single biggest issue that separates the unhappy complainers from the ones doing it correctly. Also, it takes quite a bit of FAQ breaking to become what is known as RNA. I have a cousin to whom I gave over our family cemetery memorials for him to manage. Unbeknownst to me, he got an RNA status, when I found out I had them transferred back to me. When I contacted my cousin, you know what he said, "I screwed up." He had been pretty blatantly abusing the BU status and when he was warned several times, he didnt take it seriously. He owned up. Maybe you all need to own up.
    For the person who said to complain to Ancestry. Well, when you do send an email to ###, they are Ancestry employees already, however, think about this. Ancestry is a mess, an absolute mess, I hear all the time about massive amounts of bad, incorrect, undocumented, etc., information. Do you know why? BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU DIDNT WANT TO FOLLOW THE RULES. Do you really want that for ###?
    I would love it if ### would hire me to be someone to police the memorials, I would do it for free, truly. I would pay them to let me, if I win the lottery on Wednesday. I think it is that important. Remember, our time here is nothing but a blip and in 100 years, I want my descendants to see that I did the best I could with the information I had.
    I am not a genealogist, I think that is mostly the problem. My thoughts, my opinion, is that those who scream they are Genealogists are exactly like those that scream they are Good Christians, they aren't either one, good or otherwise. Those that may indeed be actual Genealogists wouldn't EVER try to take over a tool like ###. They would see that the person they are looking for is in the system and know where to go to get their own documentation from there. That is how a true Genie would behave. No professional Genie would use ### for anything other than a tool and a new lead or starting place. It is because of our VOLUNTEER work, that they get these leads, but still the work needs to be accurate.
    My last peeve with people who complain about ### is that yelling at the top of your lungs the hours and hours and HOURS you have sacrificed for ### and then you got booted. Why in the heck would anyone in their right mind want to put in thousands of hours incorrectly? If you are just unable to follow the FAQs why don't you start your own website? Then you can make your own rules and be happy.

    -2 Votes
  • Al
      Feb 25, 2018

    @JulieLinn The problem with so many like you though, is that you mark your bio page "not accepting messages" and its hard to edit to add, say, a sibling that is not already there.. I have had this issue over my own family pages, ppl who refuse to edit correctly.. example.. My uncle was listed as being the son of his grandparents and his aunts and uncles.. when initally approached politely and asked to fix her mistake she came back at all of us as a rabid nutcase..when asked to transfer ownership of the pages to me, or my cousin she refused.. we tracked her down and used a lawyer to get her to transfer ownership, sadly she, out of immature spite, transferred to other ppl who were happy to fix the mistakes... for some reason though, no one will add my dad as a sibling or a son..
    what I and other family find reprehensible is the tramping all over a privately owned cemetery owned by the plot holders privately.. not asking if it is okay to photograph the headstones for public consumption. This has led to board discussions on whether or not to shut the gates permanently to non family without a key. you ppl get what you reap... as a board member I voted to shut the public.. I offered personally to bear the cost of the new gate locks..

    +1 Votes
  • Ja
      Nov 28, 2018

    @Alpha Papa Having messages enabled on your PROFILE has nothing whatsoever to do with getting changes made to a memorial. Many of us shut off the messages because people left corrections there instead of using the proper procedure. I'm literally rolling on the floor laughing about using a lawyer to get management of a Find A Grave memorial. What a total crock.
    Also, if the cemetery is open to public visitation, ANYONE can visit and photograph. Permission from the family is not necessary. Even if the gates are closed to non-members, any grave that can be seen from a public thoroughfare (street or sidewalk) or from neighboring property can be photographed. If something is in public VIEW, it can be legally photographed.

    0 Votes
  • Ju
      Aug 18, 2015

    Oh, wait, one more peeve. I am constantly stunned that people are literally bawling in different places that Joe Schmoe didnt thank them for their work. Seriously? I made a version of the following statement and got booted from a Facebook page for my trouble: If you need to be thanked for being a volunteer, so badly, buy yourself a teeshirt that say "I'm Spiffy, " and get over it.
    So, while you very unhappy people are stuck in 9th grade, I will now actually get out to another cemetery and start taking some pictures that I will accurately enter into the system and watch my numbers grow higher and higher because everyone knows that if you are doing your volunteer work as best as you can, you and either the ### Police or "in it for the numbers."
    GROW UP.

    0 Votes
  • De
      Aug 18, 2015

    Marthann, I have photographed and added over 4000 memorials from walking the cemeteries row by row. Added over 12000 photos I personally took with my own camera. Driven over 3 hours at a time to go to cemeteries. I do not steal, nor do I list burial unknowns EVER. I do not duplicate. I do not steal photos from obituaries, funeral home websites, or other memorials. I do not list currently living survivors in the bios (family excluded). I follow the rules. If I find a death certificate or old obituary and the person is not listed on the site, I add their memorial after a very careful search - completely allowed by the site. I appreciate and welcome edits, and have sent over 5000 myself to other contributors since the new system was implemented - taking my own time to help ensure their memorials are correct and complete. I am thankful I am healthy enough to go to cemeteries and do this work. Your attitude would exclude any disabled person who wants to contribute - tell a wheelchair bound person they can't contribute because they can't walk in the cemetery? Completely supercilious on your part. I too am surprised you were not banned before now, based on what I've seen. You earned your RNA, pure and simple. You are simply mad because other people "beat you to it" and had the memorials listed before you could do it yourself out of those "cemetery books". I agree with JulieLinn, start your own website and then you are accountable to no one.

    +1 Votes
  • On
      Aug 19, 2015

    Marthann, don't worry about the memorials. Find A Grave is managing them and the "police" will submit corrections so those memorials are not only fitting tributes but also are in alignment with the site's guidelines.

    -1 Votes
  • Ma
      Aug 20, 2015

    TO: deedra-dennis, “Ladybug” member #47122697; Glendora (member #46931045) ; Diehard (member #46809256); GatheringMyFamily (member #47196747); GerbLady (member #46637511); Honoring our ancestors (member #46844300); Apollymi (member #47370881), & others:
    I am just going to go back to where I started: http://www.usgenweb.org/; http://iagenweb.org/; http://iagenweb.org/shelby/ and http://iowagravestones.org/; where if you look me up, I have posted thousands of gravestone photos in nearly every cemetery in the county I live in. I have transcribed thousands of pages of bios and other items.
    I admit I didn't even read the ### guidelines until people like you started whining, I also didn't know guidelines are rules?
    I mistakenly thought that since ### was connected to Ancestry.com, that it was for family history research.
    I find it's just so ### gets richer with every memorial that is posted.
    I am finished with this conversation.

    -4 Votes
  • Gl
      Aug 22, 2015

    LOL Marthann... I guess you will go back to those places. Since you're banned from FindAGrave, what other choice do you have??? You still owe me an apology though. You accused me of using a fake name and email and that is not true. You also said you didn't get a warning from Find A Grave. I know that's a lie. You were told to clean up your listings, but you just ignored it and kept listing more and more that still broke the rules. Now you are here and at Pissed Consumer running your mouth and disrespecting people and getting told how it really is. By the way, I finally got those living people listings deleted... you know, the ones you created for linking purposes when their spouses died? How sick!

    +2 Votes
  • An
      Nov 12, 2015

    Dear Marthann Kohl-Fuhs,
    I'm so sorry for your experiences. Please understand that some of these people have nothing better to do than to find fault with other people's work. They are at a point in their life where they feel unappreciated unless they are being smug and superior as they find infractions to jump on -- like a crazed religious fanatics on a quest to sniff for sinners and stomp them out. They can quote the numerous findagrave guidelines off the top of their heads like some can quote scripture...
    The rules are supposed to be guidelines, but to them they are precious dictates that give them raison d'être as they pontificate to others. Many of the guidelines have good intentions. For instance, duplicates are not a good idea as it confuses those that lookup loved ones. I once had a handful of them because someone had two separate cemetery listings instead of multiple alias cemetery names for the same cemetery. Luckily, the contributor who caught it was a gentleman who nicely explained the issue. He wasn't one of those self righteous fanatics that get their panties wadded all out of shape because there was an infraction.
    These fanatics are not very technical savvy, so they cannot even think of what the future of findagrave might be. Take the case of Burials Unknown. It really serves no purpose to put one's whole family in findagrave if you have no clue where any of them are buried. Some people (very few) have done that and it is about as useful to do as using a hammer to scramble eggs -- wrong tool for the wrong job... That is best to do in a genealogy program until you have a better idea where they are buried. Unlike some of those infraction police, I'm not going to jump up and down about it like some fanatic. I'm simply stating the obvious -- it serves no purpose.
    However, there are times where there are many good reasons as to why you suspect where the dead are buried, but cannot prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. It would be simple for findagrave to implement an indicator that states that a memorial is for someone where their is xyz info about their lives, and the info so far known about the dates and location of their demise and what is the believed location of their burial. (For examples, sometimes you have an obituary that states where they are buried, yet the cemetery itself has no record, or records lost/destroyed, and of course no headstone.) Then in these cases simply leave it as a burial unknown. If you put all the facts you know, perhaps one day records will surface, and at that time the burial unknown can be put in the proper cemetery.
    Unfortunately, the infraction police cannot see past the end of their nose, so they want to scream if they even find one Burial Unknown. As a result, scared contributors do something that is even worse -- they simply plop some one in a cemetery so that it will be a long time before the truth becomes known. I specifically have an ancestor who died and then his widow and children moved to another state. His family's graves are known. However, where he himself is buried is probably in the cemetery in their original hometown, but for whatever reasons, it is not known for sure. Sadly, a very distant relative decided to plop him in the state his loved ones moved to. (I seriously doubt that in the early 1800's people dug up their dead and moved them hundred of miles to their new location.) This relative contributor meant well, but it was completely wrong and misleading. I would rather he had put all the info correctly INCLUDING the fact that we know where and when he died, but that there is NO definitive proof exactly where he is buried (perhaps either in the hometown cemetery or perhaps on their farmland). I'm not going to link up his children with this memorial because it simply is misleading. His widow's memorial clearly states that his burial is truly unknown that visitors can read for themselves. That said, unlike these fanatics it would give me no pleasure to shame this contributor, nor hound the admins until they destroyed his memorial to this ancestor.
    I also understand why there are guidelines for ownership of photos and quoting things such as obituaries. They are simply protecting themselves should the real owners of the photos or obituaries make a fuss. They don't want to get into legal entanglements.
    Most of these fanatical storm troopers have lost their steam with the implementation with the forms for general updates to memorials (dates, names, links, etc). However, sadly there is not an ignore feature for these fanatics. Even if there were, they would be commiserating with their fellow fanatics on the findagrave forums about how horrible others are, and how wonderful the good old days were when findagrave had fewer features and fewer contributors. (Speaking of the forums, comment on them at your own risk. If you say anything that pisses them off, they will swarm on your memorials looking for things to criticize and then bombard you with complaints.) I had already gotten rid of any dups way before I got on the forums. I also don't have to use others photos nor quote obituaries, as I have my own info. I also had so few burials unknown (and definitely no plopping of the deceased into cemeteries where they are not located), that I could not satisfy their lustful cravings to get all pissy and find fault with my memorials. I won't go into what infraction they bug me about, but it gets really old.
    Perhaps one day they will find that their is more to life than spending your time being anal retentive and making others' lives miserable. Until then what you should feel is pity.

    -2 Votes
  • Je
      May 03, 2018

    I am so sorry Cindy and others for your bad experiences at Find-a-Grave([censored]). To avoid problems, a new or old contributor should totally avoid the [censored] Forums, any communications with [censored] staff and if contributor Diehard harasses you, do not respond to it. [censored]'s new website is riddled with errors. Don't complain about these errors as the staff
    are overwhelmed by the bugs and they could ban you. [censored] had erased several of my bios in the past without notice and blocked me from going back into the profile. The new website no longer has that feature enabled so I was able to restore my profiles. Use the screwed up new website to your advantage and for God's sakes don't complain or interact with the staff or [censored] crazies. And just hope Diehard does not come for you.

    0 Votes
  • Je
      May 03, 2018

    I am so so bad Cindy, I just posted a Burial Unknown at [censored] and even posted an obituary with living family members names on it! The picture I posted was beautiful, their face was so peaceful looking laying there in the casket. Of course I had URL's to other memorial sites to honor the deceased. Thank you Find A Grave!

    0 Votes
  • Am
      Oct 16, 2018

    I got suspended from Find A Grave for uploading "copyright" photographs I took MYSELF on holidays over the years to various religious sites. I will never pay another penny to that scam company.

    0 Votes
  • Ja
      Nov 28, 2018

    @AmitChak Find A Grave is a free website so you must be talking about a different website.

    0 Votes

Post your comment