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CB Reference Find A Grave Disgusting & a huge invasion of privacy.
Find A Grave

Find A Grave review: Disgusting & a huge invasion of privacy. 7

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4:46 am EDT
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This site is purely just disgusting. They put up my older brother's grave on their own accord, without any of my family's permission. (Or at least, a volunteer did. Multiple actually, they have updated the picture from 2007-2021 Including years 2013, 2018, and 2020.)

They use history purposes and future generations as an excuse. I understand people finding their relatives and such, however putting a BABIES grave on this website, which clearly and obviously shows that his family still visits, is purely going against that.

They even openly state the amount of months he lived as if it is nothing.

They act as if they are doing a favor. No, they are in fact not for way too many families to count. This is most obviously an invasion of privacy, yet so many people are calling it "hard work".

This is not hard work. It is not a person doing this "out of the kindness of their heart," it is an egotistical, decade-old couch stain trying to find some importance to put into themselves. You are not doing my family a favor by taking a picture of a babies grave. It is not for history purposes, it is not for future generations, it is for your own benefit. There is no way taking a picture of a babies marker does anything for the future, and there is no way people are actually trying to defend this action.

My mother emailed one of the "volunteers" that put a picture up when she first found out, and she wasn't given a reply. This is disgusting, and nothing more. We are not thankful. We do not find this site as a blessing. I do not want my older brother online for all to view when they search for a single last name.

A good amount of this site is purely wrong and ridiculous, there are complaints of false information almost everywhere I look and they actually look into DECEASED people's records. They do so much of this without permission, I am honestly surprised this hasn't been spread more than it is already.

There are no human morals in play of this, a person does not take a picture of someone else's grave and not feel anything of regret. They are proud of themselves. They are proud of themselves for taking pictures of an already grieving family's relative's grave and they say that the family would be thankful. They apologize for us not understanding the work that goes into play.

No, I apologize. I apologize for not understanding how hard it is to take a picture of a grave. I apologize for not understanding how hard you are working to do this, for how much you are doing for so many. Because I am clearly in the wrong. It's sad, really. How such a huge community of grown adults can't wrap their mind around how much more grief they are causing families.

Okay, public property? Yes, I understand that most cemeteries are basically public property, however it is literally courtesy not to go into a random cemetery and start taking pictures of graves. And not only just taking pictures, no, putting them online with information about the person, their job, their family, anything they could get their hands on. Sad, really.

With little to no respect, sincerely, me.

7 comments
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Brenda Darbyshire
Albany, US
Jun 13, 2023 5:03 pm EDT

Did you okay the obituary? The obit becomes public domain, and I bet you share more on Facebook than folks do on FG. Most just add the obit and do family links and move on. Folks are not mind readers, they just up and made up all the skeletons in your closet? Somehow I doubt that.

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Eddie Jones
, US
Jun 13, 2023 11:25 pm EDT

Again Find a grave is not a real cemetery website. If the relative of the deceased individual requests to have the memorial removed, the bullish find a grave community should comply. I'm not sure what's so hard to understand, Brenda.

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Eddie Jones
, US
Jun 13, 2023 11:27 pm EDT

Most find a grave users are bullyish, not all. There are the good ones, and then there are the losers who hate burial unknowns.

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june dolson
, US
Jun 01, 2022 8:25 pm EDT

I agree with J Chaknova. Mind your own business people. Some idiot changed my partners obituary dam disgusting and shameful. Find something better to do with your time. What a ridiculous hobby, ever tried walking instead of having your fat [censored] sitting at a computer?

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J Chaknova
Fort Supply, OK, US
Nov 22, 2021 6:36 pm EST
Verified customer This comment was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

Not all families believe in eternal life; but for those who do, findagrave is a digital record of people (yes babies are people, too) who have passed to eternal life. It is a free website; so money is not being made on the fact that babies die and someone creates a digital record of it. The fact that people die is not disgusting and the fact that a digital record of it is not disgusting, either.

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Steve Stfia
, US
Dec 24, 2023 1:48 pm EST
Replying to comment of J Chaknova

Find A Grave is comprised mostly of bored housewives..Its a game of who can collect the most graves. Its a sick and warped pastiime.These people r not helping nor doing a community service. They r unhinged individuals who need professional help.

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hobby4marilee
Denver, US
Oct 06, 2021 3:45 pm EDT

You clearly are unfamiliar with the genealogy websites that have been publishing cemetery transcriptions and grave photos since the late 1990s.