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Find A Grave review: sacrilegious vulgarity

T
Author of the complaint
9:23 am EDT
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Who gave anyone at this "hobby site", the "right" to stand on my father's grave and take a picture of his tombstone? Unlike the many "famous" people and their graves that begin this site... it has now devolved into a grave violating hobby for a bunch of people who have nothing better to do than to aspire for "top honors" for the greatest number of graves, (of private citizens), photographed (violated), documented, and splayed across the Internet. Some even have the audacity to post warnings as to the "copyright" status of these photographs.

How do you explain to your 92 year old mother why some stranger is standing on her husband's tomb taking photographs? How do you explain to her why the picture of her husband's tomb is splattered across the Internet? How do you answer her question about why some stranger "owns" the copyright to the photo of her husband's tomb?

This is vulgarity beyond measure.

Time to start getting some "grave desecration" and privacy laws updated...and getting some lawyers to start earning their annual retainers.

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S
Mar 06, 2022 1:24 am EST

A Megam Heyl took over my parents, grandparents graves + very special little baby who fell vctem to the flu epidemic.. He was barely six months old.

After taking over Megan Heyl cluttered the site info she swiped from the net...

Divorses, other spouses, children if or if not were legit but.not exclusively. There were sub menus. What started out to be a Memorial soon.turned

in2 a tabloid

Furthermore Meham Heyl refused to relinquish management when approached by.immediatel family. When I complained 2 FinfdAgrave I was. banned from the site 4 voiloating coomunity standards which is a nice way of saying I didn't suck up 2 Megan Heyl. I was also.threatened with police action 4 supposedly cyber stalking.

I am 75 years old and cannnot believe this happening. Things like this do not happen in the real world...only in trashy 1970s drive in horror movies and on old Twilight Zone reruns.

Whatever meds they r on over there at FindAGrave aren't working. The whole situation is warped. The site should be shut.down like pronto

G
Oct 28, 2019 9:40 pm EDT

this read like it was written by someone who has never used the googles

S
Aug 23, 2019 5:19 am EDT

If cemeteries were meant to be private, every plot would have a fence around it, cemeteries would not allow photography (most do, complain to them not Find A Grave), and I would venture a guess that maybe 0.00003% of legislators would be crazy enough to side with you and idiotic enough to care.

So good luck, the rest of us will be helping others with their genealogy. You can complain if you like, we won't stop.

Bye!

S
Dec 20, 2021 1:34 pm EST
Replying to comment of stren

A cemetery plot is private piece of land purchased by the deceased or family of the deceased. What an ignorant statement to say If "cemeteries were meant to be private, every plot would have a fence around it"Alot of private property don't have fences around them, but you don't have the right to tresspass on it. I think its time to get rid of Find a Grave

T
Jan 08, 2019 3:01 am EST

Ligma for all who are butthurt by the OP

T
Jul 30, 2016 6:31 am EDT
Verified customer This comment was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

I was not aware that there was a competition to create the most memorials. I have tried to find info on some of my ancestors; and I cannot. The reason I post memorials along with family history is so that future people will have a much easier time tracing their ancestry - and it will be available on a website that is FREE to access. We are all going to die. It is a fact. I wonder about the strong emotional response posted that calls showing love for mankind "Sacrilegious vulgarity." I never imagined that showing love for the human family could be considered either sacrilegious or vulgar. The response is grounded in an over-abundance of emotion and a complete lack of rationale.

M
Oct 03, 2013 5:06 pm EDT

Oh why do you care so much its there to honor the dead not oh lets make sure we dont remember who your father is and what he did before he died. Well I agree with the copyright status since its your FATHER not theres. How is violating someone? You dont want people to know who your grandfather was?

Oh you explain to your grandmother someone had enough decency to remember your grandfather when her children are too busy to visit her husband grave. Well I agree with the last comment no know owns the copyright to the photo of your fathers tombstone.
Its not vulgar its rememberence of the dead. Tell me who will care when you die and your children die and there childrens children die?

Oh please! STOP now. its not grave desecration unless a dog or cat piss and c*** over the tombstones! thats descreation not trying to preserve a person and who they were.

If you feel that way be cremated and then forgotten! But remember someone may put your memorial on findagrave

H
Jun 13, 2013 2:54 pm EDT
Verified customer This comment was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

The best you can do Dorothy is email F.A.G. and ask that certain changes be made (which may not happen for months). BUT as a warning whoever had the changes made might be one of the administrators' favorites and might retaliate. Yes, they can be that petty. The party that had the changes made might even try to get control of the memorials and have you bumped from F.A.G. The website isn't run on the fairness and professionalism code of ethics doctrine, but more like something you would find in high school or in dirty politics.

D
Jun 02, 2013 9:12 pm EDT
Verified customer This comment was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

I am very annoyed with findagrave. I have been adding family members for at least 4 years and had no problem until recently I agree with who said it has become a competition to see who can create the most memorials. In the last few days I have found erroneous info posted on my memorials. One even listing two female names as parents of on of my ancestors. I thought only the created of the memorials could make such changes. To make matters worse I can't find out how to fix this.

H
May 22, 2013 5:17 am EDT
Verified customer This comment was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

While I understand your concern about your grandmother's feelings and Find A Grave is run by unscrupulous people, one of the purposes of the website is to honor the dead. Very few people that have ever lived show up in the history books. One way to remember them is through websites like F.A.G.

As a suggestion, rather than seeing this as a violation of privacy see it as a chance for people to know about your grandfather. You can ask that management of the memorial be transferred to you. You can add his picture and a biography and other things you would like people to know about him.

C
Oct 18, 2011 9:51 pm EDT

You did when you buried him. He no longer belongs to you, he belongs to God. If you do not like it, don't bury someone in the ground. Put them in a mausoleum or cremate. You chose to bury them, so grass gets mowed, people walk over on and on. Choice you made, so live with it and get over yourself.

A
Aug 08, 2011 3:37 pm EDT

Just curious if you would be just as angry if you found your family's history on a genealogy website?

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