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I was graduated from Wayland Academy in 1956, so obviously the very unfortunate experience I had occurred decades ago. I was there for two years, i.e., junior and senior years.
Almost all of the boarding students lived in double rooms. Unfortunately my first roommate, a senior, was a bully. I learned that he had been a bully the previous year but even so the dean of boys, Mr. Hobart Tucker, had appointed him as a proctor which was a position of some responsibility. For that reason I felt, probably correctly, that if I reported my roommate that I would be blamed. I was also concerned that the bullying would become worse if I reported him.
My roommate would do such things as tear my clothes, threaten me with physical violence, ridicule me for trying to study, and hide my ties. The worst was the sexual abuse.
He repeatedly told me that at another boarding school the juniors were required to give the seniors their "blow jobs". Of course I didn't believe it and I could see what he was trying to do. Later, he attempted to get me to give him a "blow job" and a few times refused to let me sleep. Finally, to get him to stop, I agreed to give him a hand job and actually did it. However, I did it in such a way that he got no satisfaction from it and he never repeated the attempt.
On another occasion, he had a couple friends in the room. He encouraged them to help him give me a "pink belly" which consisted of taking my pants completely off and slapping my belly until it turned pink. Considering that I was completely exposed while they did it it was clearly a form of sexual abuse.
Smoking was strictly forbidden but yet it was common. He would smoke in the room, with friends, and because I was sensitive to smoke it was a serious problem.
Once he somehow got a sophomore to enter the room and attempted to get the sophomore to open his zipper, pull out his male organ (the software will not permit me to use the correct word), and give him a "blow job". It was obvious that the kid could not deal with it; he was actually crying. I solved the problem by going to the door, putting my hand on the door knob, and saying, "Tom, this has gone far enough". The implied threat to open the door forced him to stop.
After a few months of having him for a roommate I succeeded in changing rooms. That solved the problem for my junior year.
During my senior year I was again bullied, but fortunately with no sexual implications. At that age I was especially vulnerable to being bullied because I was somewhat smaller than the other kids, I tended to over-react to everything, and I had minimal social skills. That was at least partly the result of how I was raised, but I didn't have a clue about what the problem was. And, because I blamed myself to a certain degree, I was very ashamed of being bullied and did my best to hide it.
There were several boys who were bullied. There were a few boys who had apparently been sent to Wayland because they were trouble makers who probably belonged in reform school. They also were bullies.
It is possible that by now Wayland Academy has an effective anti-bullying program, but I have my doubts If they did I would expect it to be mentioned in the alumni publication but one has never been mentioned.
As a result of my experience at Wayland Academy, I would strongly advise parents not to send their kids to a boarding school unless there is a very good reason for it. Bad things can happen without the parents ever finding out. If so, there can be considerable long-term damage from which there will be only partial recovery.
