Is the process of working toward goals more valuable than actually ‘winning’ and achieving them? 26

A game is fun when you play it, not when it ends.

Early 30s dude here, achieved all I wanted, married, decent middle class job, bought my dream car, here I am, depressed, reading about other depressed men, sold my car, hate my job, feel useless. I totally understand and agree with this lesson:
"Anticipating future events can be more pleasurable than the events themselves"

It’s not about the destination, it’s the journey that’s exciting.

You've just described the power of dopamine. The anticipation of the reward is more powerful than the reward itself.

This guy is 100% right. The journey is so much more rewarding than the destination.

That's me, when I was a broke student, I always dreamed of buying things when I got a job, but now that I've bought those things, I still feel empty.. :/ The anticipation of those things was much better.

Best analogy I can think of is a man restoring a classic car from dereliction to brand new condition. When it is done, the journey is over. It was only ever about the journey, saving the car, making new friends to help, the satisfaction of replacing worn and rusting parts with new. Learning new skills. That first drive when restored, the admiration of other enthusiasts. Then what happens. The man can only admire his work for so long, there is nothing more to do, and the car is sold. What does he do?...he buys another wreck, and so the journey begins again, different this time, because he has learned so much on the previous journey. All of life is like this. Happiness is short lived. So is contentedness. It is meant to be so. It is the only way the soul can grow.

My wife has never understood my penchant for taking up new hobbies and interests. This content explains it perfectly. I'm always setting new goals for myself. Meanwhile she laments all the things she hadn't done in life, but just wants to complain about and never sets new goals.

Wow, this is so true! My husband and I go on a lot of road trips, and we’re the Happiest and have so much fun when we’re on the Journey towards the Destination! Thank God!…So yes, be Happy while achieving your goals! ☺️
Thank you Rob

Maybe that’s why people with ADHD, myself included, can sometimes struggle with feelings of depression. We often get distracted quickly and lose interest in things we were once super excited about, always chasing that next source of dopamine. It can be really hard to stick with one thing long enough to fully invest time and effort into it. The idea that happiness comes from having goals and working towards them makes sense, but for those of us with ADHD, staying focused on a long-term goal can feel almost impossible at times. This constant cycle of wanting to commit but being unable to maintain that focus can be frustrating and disheartening.

This content hits hard, well done. Very valuable information. "life is a jouney, not a destination."

This hits home as a musician. I’ve been playing guitar and piano for over 2 decades and I’ve finally realized that I need to stop comparing myself to others and just enjoy playing for myself.
If others enjoy what I play and create, then thats a really cool bonus. Enjoy the Journey people, the best you can. God Bless from ✝️

Perfect example of “it’s the journey, not the destination”
Great message man, and one that I am definitely going to keep reminding myself about

"After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but is often true." - Spock

It's like hitting a cheat code once you hit those life goals, but really, living your life is THE goal.

Very well said. It doesn’t matter where I am in life, I feel most fulfilled working towards something meaningful. Thanks for the wisdom!

It is a combination. You always need to have goals, and you need to know that the journey is what matters.

It is the feeling that you're making progress towards a worthy goal that speaks to you. Getting the goals "done" only ticks boxes that society wants you to care about.

Live in the moment. This is really good advice. As a gamer, I know what you’re talking about. The game becomes empty once you’ve beat it or there’s nothing to work towards anymore.

My grandpa always said: its not the destination, its the journey that matters. Your actions and inactions, failures and victories that makes the difference. I never understood that until just recently.

Hey brother, thank you for this reflection. The analogy to the video game is so relatable. I feel we all tell ourselves this more often that we care to admit “once I achieve this goal, then I will be happy” somehow framing the process of getting there as a struggle in our minds. I agree with you, that’s all the fun but you don’t realize it until you get there. I will keep this reflection close to my heart.

As they said: "It's the journey, not the destination."

Exactly. Humans are funny that way; actively doing things is what gives us purpose and makes us happy. We're like worker ants who need to keep piling stuff onto the anthill, otherwise we just don't know what to do, and not knowing what to do makes us depressed. It's been like this forever, it's the reason our species has gone from living naked in caves to walking on the moon and sending satellites beyond the borders of our solar system. We tie the worth of our very existence into doing and experiencing things.

It's about road, not destination.

"Success is measured in the journey, not the destination"