Find A Grave / sacrilegious vulgarity

United States Review updated:

Who gave anyone at this "hobby site", the "right" to stand on my father's grave and take a picture of his tombstone? Unlike the many "famous" people and their graves that begin this site... it has now devolved into a grave violating hobby for a bunch of people who have nothing better to do than to aspire for "top honors" for the greatest number of graves, (of private citizens), photographed (violated), documented, and splayed across the Internet. Some even have the audacity to post warnings as to the "copyright" status of these photographs.

How do you explain to your 92 year old mother why some stranger is standing on her husband's tomb taking photographs? How do you explain to her why the picture of her husband's tomb is splattered across the Internet? How do you answer her question about why some stranger "owns" the copyright to the photo of her husband's tomb?

This is vulgarity beyond measure.

Time to start getting some "grave desecration" and privacy laws updated...and getting some lawyers to start earning their annual retainers.

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  • Ar
      Aug 08, 2011

    Just curious if you would be just as angry if you found your family's history on a genealogy website?

    +1 Votes
  • Ch
      Oct 18, 2011

    You did when you buried him. He no longer belongs to you, he belongs to God. If you do not like it, don't bury someone in the ground. Put them in a mausoleum or cremate. You chose to bury them, so grass gets mowed, people walk over on and on. Choice you made, so live with it and get over yourself.

    -4 Votes
  • Ha
      May 22, 2013

    While I understand your concern about your grandmother's feelings and Find A Grave is run by unscrupulous people, one of the purposes of the website is to honor the dead. Very few people that have ever lived show up in the history books. One way to remember them is through websites like F.A.G.

    As a suggestion, rather than seeing this as a violation of privacy see it as a chance for people to know about your grandfather. You can ask that management of the memorial be transferred to you. You can add his picture and a biography and other things you would like people to know about him.

    +1 Votes
  • Do
      Jun 02, 2013

    I am very annoyed with findagrave. I have been adding family members for at least 4 years and had no problem until recently I agree with who said it has become a competition to see who can create the most memorials. In the last few days I have found erroneous info posted on my memorials. One even listing two female names as parents of on of my ancestors. I thought only the created of the memorials could make such changes. To make matters worse I can't find out how to fix this.

    +1 Votes
  • Ha
      Jun 13, 2013

    The best you can do Dorothy is email F.A.G. and ask that certain changes be made (which may not happen for months). BUT as a warning whoever had the changes made might be one of the administrators' favorites and might retaliate. Yes, they can be that petty. The party that had the changes made might even try to get control of the memorials and have you bumped from F.A.G. The website isn't run on the fairness and professionalism code of ethics doctrine, but more like something you would find in high school or in dirty politics.

    0 Votes
  • Mi
      Oct 03, 2013

    Oh why do you care so much its there to honor the dead not oh lets make sure we dont remember who your father is and what he did before he died. Well I agree with the copyright status since its your FATHER not theres. How is violating someone? You dont want people to know who your grandfather was?

    Oh you explain to your grandmother someone had enough decency to remember your grandfather when her children are too busy to visit her husband grave. Well I agree with the last comment no know owns the copyright to the photo of your fathers tombstone.
    Its not vulgar its rememberence of the dead. Tell me who will care when you die and your children die and there childrens children die?

    Oh please! STOP now. its not grave desecration unless a dog or cat piss and c*** over the tombstones! thats descreation not trying to preserve a person and who they were.

    If you feel that way be cremated and then forgotten! But remember someone may put your memorial on findagrave

    0 Votes
  • Tw
      Jul 30, 2016

    I was not aware that there was a competition to create the most memorials. I have tried to find info on some of my ancestors; and I cannot. The reason I post memorials along with family history is so that future people will have a much easier time tracing their ancestry - and it will be available on a website that is FREE to access. We are all going to die. It is a fact. I wonder about the strong emotional response posted that calls showing love for mankind "Sacrilegious vulgarity." I never imagined that showing love for the human family could be considered either sacrilegious or vulgar. The response is grounded in an over-abundance of emotion and a complete lack of rationale.

    +2 Votes
  • Th
      Jan 08, 2019

    Ligma for all who are butthurt by the OP

    0 Votes

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