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The organiser I am complaining about is Michael Wilson. Over the past several months, I attended his events around twice a month: usually talks about paintings in an area of interest to myself and my social acquaintances; coffee house events; restaurant events and suchlike.
I did happen to notice over the months that he frequently severely criticises many of his own members and other organisers. He has also surreptitiously raised insulting issues regarding such as Art Centre guides and volunteers, claiming that they have poor knowledge compared to his own / do not know what they are doing and also demanding online that they "do not talk at all" or waste time e.g. I have now raised this latter matter directly with Art Curators in Glasgow with whom I keep in direct contact, in relation to my own love and involvement in the art and cultural sectors.
For the record regarding specific, deeply insulting content in his latest email to me, which I have copied and pasted for your attention below - headed [MW email content]: I paid Mr Wilson his membership fee in full and have reimbursed him in full for all events, including the Cathedral Concert ticket he refers to - I attended that particular event purely in support of the fact that he was in the choir and hardly any of his Culture Vultures showed interest. I went along to this event to demonstrate a vote of confidence and support for the man, contrary to what he implies in his latest email. I also treated him to a coffee and cake on a couple of occasions - for which I sought and seek no such similar "reimbursement".
Specifically, although Mr Wilson was certainly aware of serious problems which I have had with abusive neighbours (a circumstance which he purports to empathise and understand) I do not call him about these matters. He has however asked about these circumstances on occasion and I have normally responded by texting him with information about where things stand in those specific regards. I did so based upon the fact that he explicitly claimed to be "a friend". However, he is lucky if I call him once a fortnight, usually extremely briefly, according with specifics for his Meetup events, if at all - I certainly do not call him "for two hours several times a week", please be doubly reassured on this fact.
I come from and live in Glasgow, therefore I find my way to his and other events with particular ease. Referring to the content in his insulting email in this regard: on one occasion I was five minutes late because I guessed the place wrongly - he now chooses to raise this as a point of insult, which I feel beggars belief. Moreover, I have been in Michael Wilson's company several times with other of his members w wholeheartedly agree that at no point have I done or said anything to cause Mr Wilson vast stress, as he claims.in fact, as several of his other members know, I have been unusually supportive of him in face of what he previously, consistently claimed was other members' behaviours which bothered him and caused him to raise petty and insulting issues.
In summary, there is an unfortunate pattern of disturbed and disturbing behaviour such as I am describing here, which has recurred within both Mr Michael Wilson's and other Meetup Groups. Specific organisers who have caused me severe grief of experience of late include Ms Patsy Lau, who sent me a message which contained insults and profanities in block capitals, before she blocked me from a book group which she ran last year.in response, I (rightfully, I believe) raised an informal, confidential complaint about her to Mr Wilson when I joined his Culture Vultures Group. He agreed emphatically at that time that her conduct towards me had been insulting and unacceptable. However, he did not respond by rejecting her consequent request to join his Meetup Group at any time, which I feel is a moot point. There is simply no way of telling from the outset what these people who run Meetup Groups are like or of anticipating that they will retain malicious, insulting beliefs and thoughts which they choose to spit out without warning, before rejecting people from their Meetup groups and events - apparently in a fit of vehemence.
[MW email content] below, messaged to myself Wednesday 30th May 2018:
"To follow on from my earlier email. You have caused me more stress than all of the other CVs put together. I did put up a concert that one needed a ticket for. It wasn't a free concert but you were the only one that was insisting that it was free, and wanting to argue about it. You were asked not to mentioned me or the group to GMRC but you did. When I asked you not to do it again afterwards, you denied me ever having said it to you. You never paid anything to the membership fee but were signing up for everything. You cannot even get my name right when discussing me with others, when you are arguing with me about whats been said. Didnt give me the right amount of money for the cathedral ticket so I was left short changed and having to make up the difference. Went to the wrong place which is another example of how inaccurate you are. Complaining if/when I dont get back quick enough. Expecting me to listen, to the poor choices you have made when dealing with your neighbours and expect me to phone up and listen you repeat yourself for 2 hours several times a week. You shouldn't have phoned me in the first place about patsy. people dont get on with everyone. deal with it. You've got no filters, if you want to find out about something just ask no matter how personal it is even if it's none of your business. I have had enough birthdays to know what I want to do. You were encouraging nothing. That invite was open to everyone. I am hardly likely to invite someone I barely know and haven't seen for 18 months. Nothing you can say is ever accurate. If you are not bad mouthing lots of other CVS, or gossiping then you are expecting to use up a great deal of my time just listening to you go on repeating yourself. I do wish that people who are uncouth, with serious mental health problems and with no social skills or love of opera would stop making requests to join my group, then causing me problems when the join and then unsuited to the high arts I want to embrace."
I look forward to receiving your response to the above.
Many thanks,
Ms Jacqueline Bergson
M.A. Hons Psychology; Dip Hons Alcohol and Drugs; NEBOSH
Email: [protected]@hotmail.co.uk
Mobile: [protected]
Home address: [removed]
The above makes numerous personal complaints about me over a period of time. I provide a not for profit social group, and if people do not like how I conduct myself, the door is open for them to leave at any time rather than them hanging around. If she was not happy with my supposed conduct then she would have been better not to attend events. My supposed conduct only became circumspect after I have thrown her out of my group.
I removed the above from my group. The above had been stressing me out for months. This I accepted, as I am such a kind person, but I do take a dimmer view, if someone then becomes abusive to other members, as she was. As organiser, I have every right to decide who I want in my group and who I do not. The group is at an age when previous other organisers have given up and thrown in the towel, because of the hassle involved from a minority of its members. Members who join, but who, like her, contributes nothing but complaints, bad-mouthing other members, non-stop gossip and stress to its organiser.
I found her to be unbalanced, with poor social skills, who misinterprets everything she hears. She appears to have the severest of mental health problems that affects every sinew of her. I’ve had the great privilege of having over 1, 500 members, as no one is ever refused entry to the group. Of this number, I’ve only removed just 9 individuals through their bad behaviour, over the course of two and a half years.
My general advice for someone who does nothing but complain, and is unsuited to my group, would be to leave and set up their own group. But I believe this would be beyond the capabilities of her. She complains of another organiser and I, and of the website. But maybe she should set up her own group and then see what it is like having to deal with abusive and unsuitable members.
For example, to give some background of her. Neither of her sons talk to her and neither does her mother. One of her sons recently got married and not only never invited his mother to his wedding, but never even told her he was getting married. A jobcentre banned her from entering its premises and when she forgot her bag, then the police had to retrieve it for her, while they entered the building and she remained outside. A library had banned her. At least one other organiser banned her and several other members had blocked her. She has complained numerous times about the police and is preparing legal action, using legal aid, against other people. Her sons, her mother, a jobcentre, library, her neighbours, the police, housing, organisers, members and I – there is a pattern here and she will lead you to believe that everyone is in the wrong, except her. She’s a liar. Totally delusional.
In order for me to continue to enjoy the group I created, I could not allow someone like her to be a part of it. I felt, we had nothing in common and had very different personalities, I didn’t like her conduct. I found her to be socially unskilled and by far too critical of other members. This is not malicious, but an honest observation.
I got fed up with her paranoia. After events, she was wanting to know many times if other members were talking about her. Wanting me to respond to her gossipy texts, that often didn't make any sense, when I tried to ignore. Wanting to know the names and address of people within moments of meeting them, and then cutting them off completely if they do not provide their address to a stranger instantly. For me, nothing that she says is ever accurate. A number of people who have seen her complaint have told me that ‘she has no emotional intelligence….she should be pitied’. After a meet up has finished, neither do I wish to hear gossip, from her, about what someone else has supposedly said, or not said. She does misinterpret everything.
It does seem to be that she exhibits signs of very serious mental health problems. No doubt she might think she is (always) in the right, but these health problems, and the way it affects her, means that she is completely detached from reality.
As for any institution I visit, my conduct has been above reproach. It’s nothing but praise for its curators and volunteers. I strenuously deny everything. She claims I make ‘demands’ but I make all arrangements alone, and in private. I do not cc her into any mail. She has no knowledge or evidence of anything that is said or written, from me to them. It’s all hearsay, based on her trying to be vindictive, and is probably upset, because I threw her out of my group. If I really did have such a low opinion of them, and make demands or had a supercilious manner, it’s very unlikely I could maintain any sort of access. Before I started the group, I have went to some places alone, and I would still be happy to go alone to some things. But as I spend a great time of time researching things and providing opportunities it shows a complete lack of gratitude to have someone making false claims. I go to places to see art, but she was affecting my ability to enjoy the experience. For example, she just never shuts up. I was trying to see the art but I am having to turn my back on the paintings frequently to answer her. On our last visit, she did bang into a rack, causing the paintings to shake. I was so embarrassed by her conduct I could barely look at her and I thought at the time when I heard the metal racks shake ‘I might have known it would be have been her’.
I’m never allowed to speak or finish what I am saying without her interrupting or trying to talk over me. Any decent person with a thread of manners person would not be so rude and be more aware of what they are doing and try to control themselves. No amount of asking her not to do it made any affect. For me, and in my opinion, she cannot conduct herself well enough socially in smaller settings or in bigger groups. For example, on asking a friend she has just met ‘Do you own your own house, I know this is noisy of me but’. Or ‘what like is your house inside’. All things that one shouldn’t ask socially.
She did not pay anything, at any time, to the membership fee. And she left me short changed for the cathedral ticket. At no time did she reimburse me. What could I gain from saying that she did not? As well as going to the wrong cathedral, and not knowing where the right cathedral venue was when I told her, she was given the ticket, then left it behind on the table when leaving and only was given the ticket again after I gave it to her. In addition, on other occasion, a multi award winning musical ensemble, all made up of professional musicians were giving a concert. At no time did I ever write that it was a free concert, but she has was sending me messages saying I did say it was free. If I am highlighting things for the group to do, I do not need the stress of having someone who wants to pick fights with me and challenge me repeatedly over what I write. Anyone in the know about the arts would have understood a group like that, made up of musicians not based in Glasgow and who all make their livelihood by performing would not give free concerts. Everyone was asked not to say they were going to the concert until they got their ticket, a fact she chose to ignore and kept her name on the going list for months.
The above has made numerous complaints about me, but it’s only in the phone calls that she wants the reader to be ‘doubly reassured’. Perhaps the lady does protest too much, and is rather embarrassed to accept that she has done this. The purpose, for me, of the social group is to have some company at events and if any friendship happens from meeting like-minded people then it’s a bonus. Quite frankly, I do not wish to be phoned several times a week, and have these 60, 90 or 120-minute phone conversations, especially if I am paying for the calls. And to have these long calls when I do not say anything and listening to someone repeat themselves time and time again. And listening to all of the poor choices they have made and not really being in a position to tell them so. Other members have had similar exhausting two-hour phone calls. I’m in the group to embrace the arts. We all have our problems, but do not inflict problems and bad life experiences on someone we have just met. With over 400 members, I’ve never claimed, at any time, to be her friend. I’ve never asked about her neighbours, because I am not interested. After her phoning constantly, I then began to blank her calls and she stopped phoning as much.
Members have the right to come to something or not. And they can change their mind at any time without a reason. The above did send me angry texts after a person she did not like wished to attend an event (that had over 20 attendees so it would have been easy to avoid the person she did not like). The event was open to all members and I had only met the other person just once. I was given no time to react when she knew the other person wished to attend. I want to make up my own mind about people and I cannot go on hearsay, especially if I know the person making complaints to have a history of not being accurate, in anything. I want to take people as I find them and how they treat me. If I was to listen or take into consideration the views of over 400 different members, the group would grind to a halt. It would be unfair if I was to treat people because of what someone else has said.
I’ve never rejected someone because I do not like them. If there were not reasons behind their explosion, then why would I make things up. She could have been rejected without any reason. I enjoy the web site. But as it is free to become a member and I never reject anyone who wishes to join, there can be, at times, people who do join but are very unsuited to my group. A great deal on running a group is for an organiser to have members, who will then support the proposed activities. No one would ever to removed unless it was for in the best interests of group’s wellbeing.
I do run a highly successful group, in part because I treat my members well. Perhaps my only regret, being such a kind person, is not removing her sooner. Or telling her that all her problems and misinterpretations do not interest me and are wholly inappropriate in the first place for her to raise with me. Perhaps if she had better social skills, she would have realized this herself. I suspect she has learned no lessons.