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http://silkensfireplace.aimoo.comWarning...Harassment and slander fall from her mouth

B Review updated:

Email and posting internet Harassment and Slander from Debra Edith Unger, a supposed paralegal who claims to work with the Crown Attorney’s Office in Victoria BC.who poses as the owner/operator of Silken Fire's Fireplace, an on line relationships/dating group who willfully and knowingly posts defamatory remarks about people and their families and business associates on line under various user names on places like [redacted] and other various search engines.

In her own words that are copied and pasted from emails to this author, she says about her abiliy to work:

‘I’m sick and I can’t seem to get well. I’ve been off work since the end of September because I literally crashed and burned. I’d like to go back but I am too shaky, having lots of stomach pain and problems and I am exhausted. I haven’t been able to sleep for almost… umm… 6 years now… They tell me I will NEVER be the same girl… I’ve recently been diagnosed with “severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder” and “Major Depressive Disorder… It goes on to say, “They also tell me that I need EVEN MORE trauma therapy because the 24 sessions I’ve already had didn’t begin to cut through the damage my PTSD has done. They tell me I need to have sexual therapy through the Sexual Assault therapy to be able to come to grips with the rather terrifying loss of libido…”

There is more information about her should you wish to contact me. She is apparently out for blood and is so scorned that she can't do anything but try and destroy other people’s lives. Be careful when you deal with her...It's actually safer not to... This is a real warning...She has been instrumental in trying to destroy several business this author is linked with...

Proudly she states in her emails her educational background: ” How do you like MY dark side??? I was taught by the Father of Darkness…

Is this the kind of person you want working for you as a paralegal in BC or anywhere else for that matter, and you who seek her advice as a forum hostess and owner, beware...she has credentials alright, see her comment above...scary stuff...this is a "dark" woman who doles out her own unschooled philosophies freely to hurting and lonely people...She claims to have taken lessons from the Father of Darkness...perhaps she should join a devil worship group instead of filling innocent heads full of her immoral ideas and suggestions. She has even posted the picture of a 7 or 8 year old boy on her web this right?


  • Tr
    truth_teller123 Aug 31, 2014

    This woman is a sick narcissistic person who is full of ### even to this day. Having known her for most of her life I can tell you that she destroys the lives of all she meets.. her relatives have nothing to do with her because she is vile and hateful person who disguises it well in her writing. She has destroyed every man she has dated (watch out Jim) and is so grandiose that she thinks no one will check into her. So silky..why dont you fess up and lets see.start with acknowledging that you never graduated from your paralegal course at Grant McEwen in Edmonton. How about your cheating and lying in your marriages? How about being accused of extreme child abuse and neglect? Just to start...

    1 Votes
  • No
    NoPlaceToHide01 Oct 09, 2019

    @truth_teller123 truth_teller123... You obviously don't have the balls to use your name to speak your so-called "truths"!! It sorta lessens your credibility dontcha know? Whoever you are, you should be ashamed of yourself that the best you can do is drown your keyboard with the acid in your mind while you hide your sick self in anonymity. Your allegations are no where near to the truth and you lady, are one sick cookie. I hope you get some help!!

    1 Votes
  • La
    ladyinkansas2004 Mar 30, 2010

    I have to say as a long time member of Silken Fire's Fireplace this "person's" ( and I use that term loosely) complaint is not only completely unfounded, it is without a doubt a TRUE CASE OF SLANDER if there ever was one! This is simply a case of HIM being exposed for the animal that he truly is and his inability to accept responsibility for his actions, and a very poor attempt to once again terrorize and bring pain to a truly wonderful woman.
    I was so saddened to see his statements, but SO very proud to see Deb's response, one based in TRUTH AND FACT, backed by COMPLETE evidence, not some taken out of context.
    This woman is truly a gentle soul who has been tortured, beaten down, and terrorized by this maniac who considers himself a man, when in reality he is nothing more than a very sick, twisted, demented individual who should by all rights spend the remaining years of his pathetic existence behind bars, for not only what he does to women but to children especially.
    Deb has never done anything but greatness with her dedication to her work and online activities. This group he speaks of, literally saved my life at one point. Deb and all the other wonderful members there saw me through some of the darkest days of my life, and helped me become the woman I am today, happy, smiling, living a wonderfully happy life. I only wish that Deb could of found the same, but thanks to the torture and agony that Pete caused her she still has a long road ahead of her.
    So to Pete...your lies have yet again been exposed. Your ability to cause pain is coming to an end. You cannot and will not get away with this terror campaign. I personally will stand by my friend and see to that.

    1 Votes
  • No
    NoPlaceToHide Mar 30, 2010

    Now regarding the above e-mails from you to me, it should be said that while you were terrorizing me, assaulting me and stalking me, you were also begging me to keep you alive. God help me, I gave you money, bought you groceries, drove you where you needed to go and tried endlessly to get your spirits back up so that you could function on your own... And now, here you are... disparaging me on the internet. If ever I needed an example of your sociopathy, you have certainly provided it here Peter... God help your lack of conscience! Like I said... NO GOOD DEED EVER GOES UNPUNISHED!!!


    Peter's Complaint excerpt:

    "Proudly she states in her emails her educational background: ” How do you like MY dark side??? I was taught by the Father of Darkness…"

    I would laugh if it wasn't so sad that you are pretending that you don't know that YOU are the Father of Darkness I was referring to... Better yet Pete - why don't you post the entire letter so that people can truly understand the devastation that narcissistic sociopaths cause... You have my permission to post it. Of course, I assumed your implied permission to post the contents of emails by your doing so...


    Peter excerpt:

    There is more information about her should you wish to contact me. She is apparently out for blood and is so scorned that she can't do anything but try and destroy other people’s lives. Be careful when you deal with her...It's actually safer not to... This is a real warning...She has been instrumental in trying to destroy several business this author is linked with...

    My response:

    As I stated in the beginning here Peter, I narrowed my concerns regarding your behaviors to the issues surrounding the safety of the little children I shuddered to think of you losing your temper with and I decided that they were worth breaking the silence for...

    Most women who have been through what you put me through would be focussed on running from their terrorist but I have instead turned to face you. I have indeed exposed your propensity for being cruel with women and children and you are FINALLY without the defence and silence that made it possible for you to devastate and destroy any more families.

    Nobody warned me. Nobody knew who you "really were" as I came unsuspectingly into your life.

    Accordingly, I am not out for blood and... sadly, I am not surprised that you can't get your mind around the fact that what you did to me and my life is a whole different argument than what was presented here.

    If (and I do mean IF) people knowing the truth about you "damaged" your business, I guess you should have thought about that before you attempted to use fraudulent credentials and misled people about how you've spent the last 25 years of your life. I see you STILL haven't cleaned up that lie on your website.

    I am not "out for blood" - I feel sorry for you Peter . I really do... It's just - I had a right to know who you were and to walk out of your life with no fear. I didn't get that. You're not doing it to anyone else.

    Thanks for posting my pics... I think... lol... I'm actually quite the girl!


    0 Votes
  • No
    NoPlaceToHide Mar 30, 2010

    Still to Peter T. Bowen and Belinda Bendfeld of Maple Ridge, BC:

    Peter - You have seen fit to share a mere tidbit of my pre-Christmas letter to you with the public. I have actually shared the WHOLE letter with the many people who are trying to put this "Humpty Dumpty" back together again. Everyone around me knows that I have severe PTSD and major depressive disorder and they know that you were the one who caused it with all your terrorizing me and stalking me through the years. I think I mentioned this to you in my pre-Christmas letter, didn't I? Oh yes... here it is:

    Expansion on my letter since your little quote takes what I said out of context:

    Anyway… getting back to me… I think you should know more about my PTSD and depression since YOU caused it… They tell me that having my head slammed against a truck 14 times, being kicked in the stomach and then, watching you pull your fist back to slam me in the mouth on that dark city street on December 27, 2003 likely started my being traumatized. They say that having you show up later at my condo after making 100’s of threats to kill my roommate and having to lurch between you while you stood above me with a 19” dagger upraised in your fist led to further trauma. But the real PTSD started when I looked up at you under that streetlight and realized I was standing in front of the devil himself. Your eyes nothing but black coals… Your mouth with your teeth out nothing more than a black hole in your face… Blood trickling from your forehead down your nose and that awful reptilian stare as you looked down at me with the dagger raised over your head. Yup… that was THE MOMENT when my dang brain broke! From there on in, I had a disorder that wouldn’t tell me I had a disorder cuz my brain was too broke to tell me that it was broke. Isn’t that something Peter???

    They tell me that a frozen brain cannot process information or feelings and that THIS is why people who have been badly traumatized will bond to their abuser. They realize he will do what he’s threatened to do and from then on, they are too “frozen” AND “terrorized” to put up boundaries. It’s called “Stockholm Syndrome” and it makes a victim feel that she must remain on his “good side” (IF he has one) in order to survive and/or to protect her loved ones. You used to ask me why I tried to love you… NOW, you know as I do that it was a “traumatic bond”…

    Of course, the ensuing traumas that I experienced with you didn’t help matters. Having you strangle me while insisting I phone John so that he could “hear me die”… Having you phone me 100’s of times each day to threaten to kill John and me… Having you almost move into John’s and my apartment while I was visiting my kids… Having you shut my phone off by pretending to be John… All the rocks against my windows and the big one that smashed in my kitchen window in my condo when you told me you were “coming in one way or another”… All the times you showed up at my apartment building or the motel, raising hell by putting burning cigarettes out on my carpet, kicking in the front doors, pizzing in the entryway of the building, sitting drunkenly in the hallways and disturbing all of my neighbors to get them to let you in… The long and terribly dark nights when I knew you would return drunkenly insane that I stood by the windows scared to death… All the times I slept with my purse, cellphone, keys and a butcher knife stuffed into a pillowcase underneath my head “just in case”… The deliberate kick between the legs at the service station you thought was so clever of you… Attempting to stab me in the eyes with your truck keys… And oh my God… all the dirty accusations of my being unfaithful while you rolled around with any bar trash you could find… all the crude, vulgar insults that slowly destroyed any trace of self esteem I ever had… all the demands for sex after insulting my body in every way there is to insult someone’s body and all the threats you made to go screw other women those very nights… all the threats to call my employers and tell them I was a crack [censored] who sold both my body and drugs in the off hours… all the times you hung around with the street fellas and yelled out to bars full of strangers that I had oozing sores on my genitals or about how I masturbated that day or how I could be had by anyone… that at one time, almost got me raped as I ran for my truck… All those nights of moving my stuff in the dark by myself while you sat getting drunk in some ti**y bar… All the pools of my own terrified sweat that I stood in when you came home drunk and insane… All resulting in the PTSD that has now left me lonely, reclusive, profoundly sad, unable to trust, experiencing horrifying nightmares and flashbacks, hypervigilant to any sudden movement and unable… yes UNABLE to find any relief in the career I worked so hard for… Sick to the core of my soul for the rest of my life…

    End of e-mail excerpt.

    The lady you met on Christmas Day, 2002 was a soft-hearted, compassionate person. When she found out that you had a bad reputation of long-standing, she continued to try to be kind to you.

    In all that you have done in the past and are doing now, you have only proven the utter validity of the saying that "no good deed ever goes unpunished".

    Since we're playing "disclose the letters", I have a few of yours that you might need to re-read. It might remind you that the lady you speak of so rudely in THIS post was the same lady who literally pulled you out of the gutter you were in when you got out of jail in November of 2002. I have no doubt, they will look familiar to you. The first one, you sent to me 10 days before you beat the hell out of me:

    Hi Baby wife...‏
    From: Pete Bowen ([email protected])
    Sent: December 17, 2003 12:03:12 PM
    To: [email protected]

    Hi Honey, I love you Deb...Please know in your heart that even if at times I am a bad sh*t, that this love transcends all other love I have for anyone... You are my dream and you have been treated very poorly by me on a lot of occassions, but I am here for you now and am in full control of everything that matters to us. I would love to have a call from you sometime my darling. Perhaps I will hear from you for another try at a "successful" saturday night this week. don't think for one minute that I will repeat last saturday's performance...It will never happen again...ever... I am in love with the most beautiful of all women and in you my darling, I find that perfection that no one else has bothered to show me...and it is for that one reaosn alone that I care, trust, accept, devote myself to you.


    Or how about this one Peter?

    Leaving goodbye‏
    From: Pete B ([email protected])
    Sent: March 13, 2004 8:32:51 AM
    To: [email protected]

    Dear Deb, I know how hard it has been on you because of all the unpleasantness and all of the embarrassments that I have caused you and your family... I know...because I am the root of the misery and even tho you don't believe it, I have put myself into your shoes and have walked the pain that I have caused...and I am so very sorry for all of it.

    I just wanted you to know Deb, that there were a lot of times that I did try so very hard to be that man for the woman I love. I let her down by drinking myself into stupors some nights. I mauled her on a night that I needed to be touched and I made her afraid of me when I assaulted her outside of my home. I insulted her with foul untrue names and did the same to her daughter and her son-in-law... I borrowed money from her when she didn't have it to give and she was always dressed to kill as she arrived to pick me up to go somewhere.


    Help me...please, help me, Deb...‏
    From: Pete Bowen ([email protected])
    Sent: July 30, 2004 7:33:58 AM
    To: [email protected]

    Oh God, Deb...oh my God...

    Please don't leave me here to die alone. I still love you no matter what. I need my lady so much that life without you is not worth living...

    Please respond Deb, my dearest friend. I am so scared that I will not be able to make it now. The street is a bad and dangerous place..and I know you don't want me to get hurt or finish off life in this way...

    Please don't leave me here without any hope. It is so hard to live now. My heart is beating too fast and I am totally exhausted. So tired very tired and ill...I am not going to make it this time..I think I'm going to die soon without any hope...My heart is sick and my head is so weary...Please have some love for me that will save me and save us...Please...!...

    Promise me that you'll try to help me to live. This is urgent. I mean it, Deb...Please help me...

    I love you Deb...I really do...please me...


    Please let me come and stay for a few days‏
    From: Pete Bowen ([email protected])
    Sent: July 30, 2004 11:28:13 AM
    To: [email protected]

    Dear Deb,

    I need to get sleep and I need to relax. I cannot make it out here right now. I wander all day looking for a drink of water and some scraps of food from bins. The food shelters are usually full and I haven't got anything from them so far. I really need your compasion and ask you begginglyto let me please stay for a few days to rest. I am worn down to illness and hoplessness...

    If I don't get some help, Deb, I think I will seriously have a heart attack or a seisure again. I am not well. I am still turned around from jail and just want a quiet place to rest near you.

    I will keep to myself and go to work as usual. I will not intimidate you, nor will I be unpleasant to live with. I will respect you and your needs and privacy...Please Deb, for humanities sake, I don't want to die in a gutter forgotten by even the dogs who run the streets. Can you please help me? Can you show me some compassion even after I was so rough with you? can you forgive me just enough to let me get two nights sleep and by then, I can start work and hopefully start over fresh.

    Welfare doesn't lok good right now but still haven't heard anything today,
    and if I don't get any help, I know this time I will die.

    Please write me back as soon as possible. This is the long weekend and there will be no way to communicate with you other than by computer on saturday from the Library. I have no money for the phone. I can't even afford a cup of water at this time. Please Deb, in the name of God, help my like I know you can...Please..I'm desperate...I would never treat anyone or even an animal like I am being tossed around the streets.

    Please honey..for God's sake, HELP...

    Love even now, in the midst of depression and turmoil, I love you with all of my heart...Pete...XXXOOO


    And... here's the pic of your starving self you sent me... Jaundice and all...


    0 Votes
  • No
    NoPlaceToHide Mar 30, 2010

    This is my response to Peter Treharne Bowen (aka Pete Bowen, aka PeBo, aka Petiekeet) of Ridge Meadows Music and Lessons, and his girlfriend Belinda Bendfeld, both of Maple Ridge, BC. For background, interested parties may type "Ridge Meadows Music and Lessons" into the Search Engine here. I will respond as best I can with the use of lines separating the issues:


    Peter's allegation:

    "Email and posting internet Harassment and Slander from Debra Edith Unger, a supposed paralegal who claims to work with the Crown Attorney’s Office in Victoria BC.who poses as the owner/operator of Silken Fire's Fireplace, an on line relationships/dating group who willfully and knowingly posts defamatory remarks about people and their families and business associates on line under various user names on places like [redacted] and other various search engines."

    My response:

    I completely and wholly deny Peter's allegation of internet harassment and slander by myself. Slander consists of oral statements made that are untrue. I have not "spoken" with Peter nor have I made any statements that are untrue. In fact, the actual issues involving my concerns were minimized to address ONLY this writer's concern for Peter's fraudulent credentials and parents unknowingly leaving their children with him for music lessons without being aware of his extensive criminal history for violence against women and children. I daresay that Peter should be grateful that I spared people far worse truths about him.

    I am in fact a diplomaed paralegal but at NO time have I ever stated ANYWHERE that I am with the Crown Attorney's office. I am however, employed by a Crown CORPORATION. I would not be so naive as to share knowledge of my workplace with Mr. Bowen. I have undergone a thorough interview and investigation during my hiring process that more than satisfied my employers with respect to my qualifications, my clean driver's abstract and a clean criminal record. (It's too bad you cannot do this Peter).

    As to my relationship/romance group, I confirm that I do indeed enjoy my internet group which consists of a number of adults who have been net friends for many years. There is no pornography or nudity allowed in my group and I challenge Mr. Bowen to prove that there is. My group is private as well as made up of decent human beings. Unfortunately, as the years have gone on, many of us have drifted apart and the group has become silent but there may come a time where people love to chat again. I don't "pose" as anything... I simply oversee my group...

    As to the existence of a little boy's picture in my group, I challenge you to prove that Peter. You had best hope you are able to because if you can't, you best gear up for a very educational experience.

    I will continue my response below...


    0 Votes

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