Oakes, you are not misreading what WF is doing. They actually got in trouble for doing exactly what you describe in California. See http://www.bank-overdraft.com/cases/wellsfargo.htm. They were doing the same thing here in Wyoming, and everywhere else, until the California case. Several of my friends and myself realized that this was happening on our accounts and began to complain. Fortunately the timing of the California case helped with our complaints and WF quit taking the debits out first and started putting the credits in first. As others have posted, hopefully you have talked with your creditors to see if you can get them to change your auto withdrawals.
Sorry you are having to deal with WF's greed and insensitive blog cruisers at, what sounds like, a difficult time in your life. Been there. Done that. I found that just breathing and dealing with each day or hour at a time helped relieve the stress. You can deal with tomorrow...tomorrow.