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Royal Caribbean Cruises review: Royal caribbean victim 5

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10:33 am EST
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Save your vacation, run screaming from RCL.

On Royal Caribbean, you are vacationing cattle, held captive to be herded and milked dry. You will encounter all manner of crass, tacky scams designed to wring every penny from you before you are hustled grumbling home. Royal Caribbean brings new meaning to “shake down cruise”.

Tips for Royal Caribbean cruisers:

1. BEWARE OF RCL AMNESIA - Record everything the Royal Caribbean reservations agent says to you. Bring the recorder with you aboard. You will need the recorder and a stool for the hours you will spend complaining at the“Guest Relations” desk. Get everything in writing. RCL reservations will tell lies to get your booking. Nobody on board will honor the lies.

2. WEAR COMFORTABLE SHOES – You will be gouged by RCL for a ride to the end of the pier. It is worth the walk. Royal Caribbean shore excursions are a complete rip off. You will find great cheap tours within a block of the pier head.

3. REVENUE ENHANSEMENTS – Royal Caribbean will give you crummy orange juice, awful coffee and cafeteria food as a part of your ticket. If you want decent food, real orange juice, sodas, water or drinkable coffee, you must pay lots extra. On our RCL cruise, there was a $25 dollar per person cover charge just to set foot in the decent restaurants. Internet service is set to run at a snail’s pace, maybe because RCL charges by the minute. You will be given a handful of gratuity envelopes. Swallow your anger and tip, in person, only those staff that actually did their job. In our case, our cabin steward, one bartender and one waitress.

4. ADVANCE PURCHASES – If you purchase anything from RCL reservations for a “discount” you are being screwed. The same packages are available at the same price aboard the ship. When you try to redeem anything you pre purchased from Royal Caribbean be prepared for a long, long wait and something like an IRS audit. The usual excuse is “nobody has the wine locker keys” or “the wine steward is off duty”. If you advance purchase wine you can’t have it delivered to your state room. Room service will, however, sell you another bottle instead of delivering what you have already purchased. RCL tells you where and when you can have the wine that you pre purchase. If you buy a soda package you are doomed to roam the ship for two weeks carrying the “special” sippy cup that you must drink from to be served.

5. ALCOHOL – You will pay simply infuriating prices for alcoholic beverages aboard a Royal Caribbean cruise. RCL will search you and your bags at each gangway to make sure you don’t have any bottles…they even sniff your mouthwash. Once they are sure you have no bargain booze they will really put the screws to you. Expect to pay multiple times the retail price of a bottle of wine. You will pay almost the cost of a twelve pack for just one beer. Plan to get short poured on cocktails and bend over and grab your ankles when they bring the bill.

6. AIRPORT SERVICE – Imagine the service you have received from the airlines in recent years. Picture your worst airline terminal nightmare. Visualize long lines, screaming kids and high handed treatment from puny gods behind counters and podiums. Now surround that with water and you get some idea of the Royal Caribbean cruise experience. Royal Caribbean advertising bears no resemblance to RCL reality. As our shuttle bus finally departed for the airport, someone yelled “Anyone who had a good time, raise your hand”….nobody did.

Royal Caribbean still owes us $92 dollars in disputed charges… They were going to contact us. I am not holding my breath.

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Amy Meyer Hodman
, US
Jun 08, 2016 8:59 am EDT

We cruised as a family on The Adventure of the Seas in February and overall it was an awful experience. The embarking and disembarking process is dreadful. It felt like we were cattle being loaded onto a truck for slaughter (and the conditions were about as hot and uncomfortable as that scenario as well). Disembarking was even WORSE, if that's possible. I don't know why they bother having groups leave at certain times when it ends up being a free-for-all anyway, and you are crammed with what feels like a million other people broiling in a stuffy, unventilated, roasting hot giant warehouse shed for an hour just trying to get through the line, where there is no organization whatsoever and people cut in front of others at will.

The ship had none of the amenities that are advertised constantly on TV. The internet was overpriced -- dialup circa 1995 on aol was lightning fast compared to the internet on board, and this was while using one of THEIR computers! There never seemed to be enough room for everyone in the adults-only pool area which was disappointing. The food was just so-so and it seemed like the main sit down dining room kept rotating the same handful of dishes throughout the trip. I wrote to Royal Caribbean about the internet fail and got nothing in response. No email, no recognition it was a problem, etc. Every time I see their ads about their "lightning fast" intermet I laugh out loud. I wouldn't travel with them again.

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Tim G
Tampa, US
Aug 19, 2010 11:16 am EDT

You are the biggest whiners I have ever seen on a posting. You really feel that airport food is better than RCCL's? That is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. Yes the tours are not cheap, but they are trying to make a living. Do your own self guided tour and risk missing the boat. As for the alcohol prices, have you ever stayed at a resort or the beach? Drinks are much more expensive there. Granted they are not cheap on cruises, but suck it up and deal with it. You are on vacation, not trying to rub nickels together. If the "cafeteria food" as you put it, is so bad, go to the sit down dining room for breakfast, lunch and dinner instead of the windjammer(which by the way is quite nice and has an excellent choice in items). The $25 charge for the "decent restaurant" as you put it is a cheap price to pay for a wonderful full course meal with items that they don't carry on their normal menu in the main dining rooms. You folks seem like the type who complain about anything. You would probably [censor] about the taxes if you won the lottery. I hope you never cruise again. I would hate to be stuck on a ship for a week with a miserable person like you just complaining every 5 minutes. Stay home and that way you have no one to blame but yourself for your miserable existance.

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TERRY
Manchester, GB
May 03, 2009 8:34 am EDT
Verified customer This comment was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

BACK TO BACK CRUISE ABOARD THE VISION OF THE SEAS 2009, WORST CRUISE EVER. POOR FOOD, SECOND RATE ENTERTAINMENT, STAFF ARE UNHELPFUL OR JUST PLAIN RUDE. EXCURSIONS ARE A RIP OFF. DRINKS ON BOARD ARE EXPENSIVE TO SAY THE LEAST, AND NOW RCCL HAVE TAKEN IT ON THEMSELVES TO CONFISCATE TRAVEL IRONS, GUESS THEY WANT TO IMPROVE THEIR LAUNDRY PROFITS. DONT BOTHER COMPLAINING WHEN YOU RETURN HOME THE CUSTOMER SERVICE IS ALSO LACKING, OR THEY JUST DON'T CARE. WE WON'T BE USING THEM AGAIN. THE SAYING GOES, ' YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR'. IT WOULD APPEAR THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO RCCL

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maryatvan
Vancouver, CA
Apr 11, 2009 2:24 am EDT

Yikes, my friend and I are taking a cruise from Vancouver to Alaska round-trip on the Seranade of the Seas on RCL. It's a 7 day cruise my first, her second. I am so sorry to those who experienced such deplorable situations on board. We plan on purchasing our excursions upon landing at the ports, and thinking of purchasing the White Pass train also that way. Wish us Luck?

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Vicki Conrad
, US
Feb 23, 2009 4:36 pm EST

I could't agree more--you have completely hit the mark with your commentary. This was our first and LAST cruise, especially since we were told how great Royal Caribbean was. My meal at the airport was better. Heck, the sandwich on the airplane was on par with the Windjammer! The SHAMELESS ploys to expunge more and more money from the guests are disgusting, and, as the note card on our bed said the first night, "SWEET DREAMS OF HAPPY SHOPPING..." (not happy a happy vacation, or relaxation---this says it all) they couldn't be more shameless about extorting MORE of my hard earned money! But their ploys failed, and they will never again see this couple (or any of our friends if we can help it) on their over-rated, poorly serviced, floating shopping mall of a ship! If your idea of a vacation is relaxing, then do yourself a favor and go to a beach! But if you like malls, and being hearded like sheep, and suckered left and right, then, this is your ship!