I could sit and read the first 200 pages of the telephone directory and not get anywhere near as bored as I did reading this last dispatch of yours, you mongoloid. What a rasping, blithering, inarticulate piece of claptrap. Did your mother not give you enough attention when you were in the developmental stages of your henceforth too long lived life?
Your unsolicited remarks were tasteless, boring, and uncalled for. Once again you display a profound deficit in your ability to distinguish that which is beyond your comprehension from that which is good and quite normal. You simply cannot fathom my intricate psyche and the complexities of my worldview because you are ###ed. Perhaps if you were to divert a goodly amount of the time you spend in your preoccupation with your own bowel movements and spend it reading the classics you would realize that I am an anachronism. I would lend you a few copies that I own but alas I fear they would be returned to me "colored in".
I pity you. You are overwhelmed and in constant awe of my magnificence, and you cannot handle it. And so you lash out, with your poison pen. Just as the Jews could not handle the coming of Christ and summarily crucified him, you cannot handle ME, your better.
Don't look now, but there's pus oozing form the gaping sore that is your putrid soul. But there's still hope for you, reprobate. This instant you must fall to your knees and worship me and sing my praises! Compose an ode to me and sing it whenever you feel the thought entering your tiny mind that I might be something less than perfect. You'll feel better and be glad you did.
I'm prepared to forgive you, your latest transgression, if you will perform this one simple task: Make a list of all the aspects of your being that there are to loathe and despise. Write them on paper. Don't try to e-mail it to me as my server cannot handle a file that massive. After you've finished filling out the 21 reams of paper that the task requires, lie in your bed and assume the fetal position. Now stay that way until Fraser comes on TV.