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Findagrave.com / this site is to be avoided at all costs

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This site is to be avoided at all costs! There is a lot going on at the findagrave website that the unassuming public doesn't know about. This banning of members for no reason and deleting their memorials without cause will end up costing that website big and the members that are involved in this behavior will be held accountable.

I had a very negative experience with ###. I had been a member for over 9 years. The memorials I entered were mostly family members. One day out of the blue a member named BB started sending me emails about duplicate memorials. Her profile had no photo or bio and stated she had only been a member for 3 years. I checked into the memorials that she claimed were dupes and found that they were NOT dupes so I wrote back and let her know that the information she had must be incorrect. She continued sending emails up to 3 emails every five minutes. Since she was incorrect, I told her to stop harassing me. She did not respond and continued sending the emails.

A couple of days later I was trying to enter a memorial and my account was cancelled. I checked for my memorials and they were all deleted! All my photos and information was gone. I couldn't believe it, and I thought it must be an error. I contacted the admin to try and figure out what was going on. I asked them why I could not log in to my account. I didn't get a response. So I wrote again and asked them why my memorials were deleted. No response. I wrote a third time, asking when my account was going to be restored. No response. That was 8 months ago and I have never gotten a response. I checked the BB members account, and suddenly she's been a member for 9 years. After another couple of months, I checked it again and now it's up to 11 years. She IS the admin. For whatever reason they deleted my account and all my memorials then BB and some other members, probably admin as well, began stealing the information and the photos and posting them as their own. I lost years worth of work, including travel time all over the country and countless hours of research.

After my experience, I began researching the company to see what others were saying and I was completely stunned to find that there are literally hundreds of complaints about these people. Because of their underhanded tactics they have become a joke in the genealogy world. One professor who teaches genealogy courses makes a point of telling his students NOT to trust the information on that site because it is filled with errors and most of it has either been stolen or is in violation of copyright laws. I have also read that ancestry.com is having to repair the damage that ### has done by deleting memorials because they have caused broken links. This is a huge issue for ancestry and makes them look bad, which they do NOT take lightly. They are in the process of disassociating themselves from ### due to their tactics.

Unfortunately, some of the F.A.G. members are not only out of line, but their comments can only lead one to believe that they are inherently evil beings. In reference to deceased family members they post venomous comments that are not only inexcusable but downright mean, nasty and vile.

There's one member that wears a red bowl on her head with a white whirlybird thing on it. Her tagline reads "Go play in the microwave - you pest". I'm completely serious. I realize it's hard to believe that an adult would do something like this but the worst part about it, aside from it being completely inappropriate and cruel, is that she's one of the administrators.

The forums are filled with horrible comments, which are aimed towards insulting and offending members, former members, new members, and people that don't agree with the "core group". They refer to the site as "Jim's playground". They consider the "Frequently Asked Questions" section to be sacred text. Time and time again you'll see them post such caring comments as "go cry somewhere else", people need to learn to "play by the rules", and banished members are "sniveling children".

Keep in mind this is a site that has memorials on it. These memorials represent many deceased friends and family members from all parts of the globe. Most people would assume that the site is supposed to be used to honor the dead and/or as a reference tool for genealogy. However, upon further examination, and after having experienced firsthand the underhanded tactics, obnoxious and inappropriate terminology and language used there, it is painfully obvious that this is just a hideout for a group of overgrown bullies haunting and slashing their way through the pages of this online graveyard.

There is nothing upstanding, caring, considerate, or honorable about the administrators that run this site or their minions that freely admit to trolling page after page looking for errors and problems to "report back" to their leader. There is nothing kind or loving about the way they handle questions, complaints, or opinions. There is nothing dignified at all about these people who control a website that houses memorials of people's loved ones. It's difficult to believe that any human being could be that wicked and ruthless but it's all right there in plain English for the whole world to see. Shame on those people - shame!

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Comments

  • Mn
      Sep 18, 2012

    I am sorry you had to learn about the lurking evil the hard way. Had I known that kind of evil was lurking in the shadows, I would have never participated on on the site. Billion Graves is a great alternative. Thank you for speaking out and warning others. Everything you said is important for others to know.

    +1 Votes
  • Tr
      May 29, 2017

    As a member of Find A Grave since the web was in its infancy, I can tell you with certainty that not all of us are "inherently evil beings."

    As a genealogist, I have standards and there are certain things that I will not do (I will not take pictures of tombstones of children who have died within the past 50 years and I will not take pictures of tombstones of adults who have died within 10 years. Even so, if someone asks me to delete a memorial, no matter how old it is, it's deleted. No questions asked). It doesn't say much for you, or anyone else, to make such sweeping statements about people.

    Bottom line: I'm interested in accuracy, not becoming a "Top Contributor" to the website (if I wanted that, I would have had it about a decade before many people even heard or read about the site).

    I'm so old I remember when the website had zero to do with genealogy. Its original intention/focus was featuring famous memorials - and people were unable to leave comments on the pages.

    When the site was opened up to non-famous memorials, that's when the proverbial sh** hit the fan. And with the advent and popularity of garbage TV shows such as "Who Do You Think You Are?", this encouraged people who fancied themselves "genealogists" to get involved with the website, because all one has to do is create an account and, boom, your "work" is posted right away, accuracy be damned.

    It's that caliber of person who has made the website into a joke - posting nothing more than names and years of birth and death. And it's that same type of bored individual who creates the drama you spoke about because that's what happens when people choose to live in the middle of nowhere. There's nothing else going on, so fire up a machine and spout goofy sh**. Everyone shouldn't be painted with the same brush for the childish few.

    As for Billion Graves: That website is a joke, along with Interment.net. I like FindAGrave's option to stick information with the memorial because all I ever wanted to do was help people who were looking for family members to find the information I post in as many memorials as I can.

    The only information I post is from the public record - yes, tombstones are public along with newspaper death notices and obituaries. And plenty of people have contacted me over the years thankful for the information I posted as it helped them with their research. That is the ONLY reason why I am on that website.

    Given the amount of time I have been on the site, I have gotten a few wisea**es along the way, but I put them in their places (and, no, I am not an administrator). I have even had one contributor who actually stalked me in a few cemeteries and started going through my interments to see what cemeteries I was posting a lot in. She would go to these cemeteries every single day and take her crooked, blurry photos (that she claimed copyright to!) just so she could edge me out. She even created another account on the site (no picture nor bio) thinking no one would realize they were the same person.

    Again, this is what happens when you live in the middle of nowhere, your computer is your only form of entertainment, and you have nothing else to do but live in cemeteries.

    So I “get it” that there are plenty of people with "issues" on Find A Grave.

    On the other hand, I have corresponded with some of the nicest, most helpful people through the site. They're trying to do what I'm there for: We're just trying to document cemeteries (especially older burials) as there are people who live far away from these cemeteries and who cannot travel or go to a cemetery for one reason or the other.

    And too many cemeteries are being neglected in this day and age, so perhaps it's a good thing people like myself take pictures and document the older stones before the information on them disappears ... or the stone sinks into the ground.

    In the grand scheme of things, though: Find A Grave was never to be used for genealogy. It morphed into that. Next time, do a little homework before you brand everyone with the same iron while accusing others of doing the same. There is a term for that behavior.

    0 Votes

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