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Find A Grave review: Scam 180

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12:10 pm EST
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Find a grave.com photographed my 6 year old daughter's headstone and put it online. I was aghast when it popped up on my monitor. I have contacted the prosecutor and state police. The prosecutor says that I can file a civil complaint about this infringement against the guy who took and posted the picture. This person will not answer my emails and the police have located him. I feel this infringes on my privacy, copyright laws and personal property of mine being placed on the internet for advertising purposes. I'll write again to let everyone know the outcome of this.

180 comments
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Ronnie Amore
, US
Oct 22, 2023 11:01 am EDT
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Not much of a complaint, just a question. Find a Grave freezes up when I get on the site via my computer. No other sites do that. Is there a setting or something that needs fixed?

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tony45678
, US
Sep 12, 2023 3:06 am EDT

I am trying to get action about maintaining my family memorials that steve225 does not give and find a grave does nothing about it and memorykeeper gives the wrong response like great uncle falls out of limits but according to find a grave guidelines it does not.

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Will69
, US
May 06, 2023 2:29 pm EDT
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Someone keeps sending me abusive messages. I turned off my message board and they're still sending messages to me through the 'suggest other corrections' button.

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IAmBetterThanYou
Chicago, US
Apr 24, 2023 12:32 pm EDT

The people who are whining seem to be unhinged and projecting whatever mental problems they have onto others who do findagrave as a hobby.

As many have said, if you don't want a photo of a loved one's headstone online...do not get one. Do not list an obituary either. Make it so your family member never existed so you can go on life trying to never think of them again and wipe them from the annals of existence.

But if you have already done those things, you can log off and move into the woods like the Unabomber did and shelter yourself away from the Internet and information so you don't happen to search for and find things you personally find unpleasant.

I know you have mental issues. You don't realize this. Get help and cope with things you're ignoring. The people posting these things aren't the problem.

As far as issues with management of your close family members, keep trying and hopefully they eventually fix their issues. There are indeed some power tripping idiots on the site that overzealously guard entries that belong in the hands of others.

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John M.D.
N/A, US
May 11, 2023 8:19 pm EDT
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Upon reading this disgusting comment, I now realize why find a grave members are evil ghouls who could care less about what other members are experiencing.

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Sanctus Emporium
, US
Dec 26, 2023 9:39 am EST
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u r the one who is sick. People should have the right to opt out from Findagrave.

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LoriLangeland
, US
Mar 14, 2024 3:17 pm EDT

People who do find a grave for a hobby need professional help. They're sick, sick, sick.

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LoriLangeland
, US
Mar 14, 2024 3:18 pm EDT

U r one sick bytch

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D. Walls
, US
Apr 15, 2023 4:25 am EDT
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"3% of 71 complaints were resolved." I have little hope now.

I am the mother of an infant son and the steps did not work in getting a transfer.

My father wants his own Grandfather's Memorial. No response in weeks.

Many others requested. No answer.

Is this a joke? This is unacceptable and false information by this company.

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Michelle Whitman
, US
Apr 24, 2023 2:38 pm EDT
Replying to comment of D. Walls

When a memorial manager will not respond, use the button at the very bottom of each page, "contact", right after the Copyright link.

This will open a text box that goes directly to the staff, who will mediate your situation. Always keep a copy of any attempts to contact the memorial holders. I have had to involve staff more than 10 times to gain my direct family. Memorial holders that go unresponsive are such a frustration!

I hope this helps!

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TMcH
Denver, US
Feb 13, 2024 12:48 am EST

Tried this with Findagrave rep Amber and she refuses to mediate our attempt to manage family members entries

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StoptheEvilMadness
, US
Dec 11, 2022 12:27 pm EST
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FindAGrave Administrators- Caleb, Mikenna, and Amber. They are allowing another Administrator SMS to steal and/ or remove original profiles to make it their own. They are doing this to my family because I reported SMS to FamilySearch for messing with my family AFTER I had asked how he was related and tried 70 times to ask he/she to stop. Now This person is going after my family full bore on FamilySearch and refusing me my own family as per FINDAGRAVES rules. Caleb, Mikenna, Amber are sending me emails asking to send them names and numbers of all my dead family and my parents and siblings names, I think they are doing this to find info on them and steal them from me. BEWARE of this websites. I am now being stalked by these administrators and they dont stop. Someone needs to get rid of these evil people to stop what they doing or get this site shut down!. So much unneccesary stress its to the point I consider suicide. They are horrible!

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june dolson
, US
Jun 01, 2022 8:03 pm EDT

A person by the name of Joan Donnelly Ellis stole my partners photo from the funeral home web site and changed the obituary, she had no business doing that. My lawyer has been contacted. If is is not removed by Friday June 3rd 2022 there will be action taken against ancestry and find a grave. Sad life when people have nothing better to do with their time. I have sent this person several messages and no response there will be action taken against her too.

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Tania Thompson
, US
May 02, 2022 2:34 pm EDT

A findagrave monitor is removing our confederate veterans tokens of respect and replacing them with hideous looking fake purple violets. I have a good clue who is doing this to our flowers we leave on confederate veterans memorials. This person stalks and harasses me by following my flowers i leave on thousands of memorials. If findagrave will call me back, i'll let them know the name of the stalker who is a contributor on findagrave. This person has harassed me even on created memorials I worked hard on. This monitor controls about 300,000 or more memorials and is on a power trip and politics. Being a republican or democrat should have nothing to do with findagrave and southern history of our confederate veterans memorials. Meanwhile, I'm calling findagrave now. They do have a number and findagrave is owned by Ancestry.Com. So contact ancestry.Com about this. Im of southern heritage and I'm betting nearly 50 percent of Ancestry.Com's paying customers are too! FINDAGRAVE and ANCESTRY.COM are owned by the same people. Please check to see if your confederate ancestors token of respect hasn't been changed over to a hideous LOOKING PURPLE flower. I'm pretty sure I know whose behind this, I have figured it out.

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Chemi Che
, US
Apr 07, 2022 6:36 pm EDT

Find a Grave used a photo of me for someone else. I have contacted them and they refuse to remove it. I'm going to contact them again and if it's not resolved I will have to see what legal action I can take

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Activia Deja vu
, US
Apr 06, 2022 4:55 pm EDT

Find A Grave's top contributor cyber ghouls r banned from photographing tombstones

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Activia Deja vu
, US
Apr 06, 2022 4:54 pm EDT

Many private cemeteries have banned FindAGravd's top contributor cyber ghouls from taking photos of tombstones. The rationale: They do not want a resting place for the dead to be devourered by FindAGrave's cyber knowitall undertakers.

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Maryanne Dzandzalas
, US
Mar 27, 2022 7:37 pm EDT

I need to confirm my email address with Find a Grave..I don't know why is a leget address..I was thinking maybe all a SCAM. Because all of a sudden there's a name on my Google profile page with my Name ( it has a couple ofe letters that R not the same spelling).This woman that passed born in 1901..died at 94. My last name - there only 7 of us suppose to be as.Actually only 2ofbus and the rest wife and children. I don't know who she is. Maybe a mom from my father who died 1974. So I'm VERY CURIOUS. I cannot get back in F.A.G. So any suggestions?

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reeasley
Jackson, US
Mar 15, 2022 7:20 pm EDT
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As someone who does genealogy work I find “Find a Grave” invaluable. I don’t think anyone takes photos of headstones to hurt anyone but only to help others find where their ancestors/relatives were laid to rest and to preserve history. Oftentimes, there is information about about other members of that persons family included. It may seem shocking to someone unfamiliar with this who’s just lost someone young, but please know nothing bad is intended.

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E.F. Kidd
Madisonville, US
Nov 05, 2022 9:41 pm EDT
Replying to comment of reeasley

Find A Grave has many untrue information. I had my fathers memorial, my grandfathers, my grandmother, my great grand parents stolen from my control by someone who isn't related. And, they have placed a lot of misinformation on their sites. I have contacted Find A Grave and even submitted a copy of my birth certificate and they have done nothing. The person who stole them claims to be related although they arent and they have never met any of my family. Says their third great grandfather was the brother of my third great grandfather. Legally and geneticly they are not related at all. So, NO the I wouldn't trust anyone who did genealogy research using Find A Grave.

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LoriLangeland
, US
Dec 29, 2023 1:45 pm EST
Replying to comment of reeasley

Some people want Findagrave to butt out. Their wishes should be respected.

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LoriLangeland
, US
Mar 12, 2022 6:24 pm EST

The point hasn't anything to do with the validity of Find A Grave, but rather do you want you family added to their lists and plastered all over the net. Speaking for myself the answer is NO.

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Missezz Norway
, US
Mar 09, 2022 7:14 pm EST

FindAGrave is 4 bored people who gave up all their vices have nothing better to do than being cyber undertakers and stick their nose I'm everyone's business

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Mrs, Platt
Kalamazoo, Michigan, US
Mar 05, 2022 3:33 am EST
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Findagrave is gross and obscene. They play upon emotion. More precisely people who want to create a memorial for a deceased loved one. Once the memorial is completed Findagrave turns the memorial over to one of their major contributors who thus adds personal information about the deceased and their families they have swiped from the net. This includes both general and info of a more private nature that most families do nor want published on the net. These so called "major contributors" also post family photos they have swiped from the net. Nothing is sacred here. If you complain to FindAGrave's hierarchy you are either suspended or blocked from the site.

In my case I created a memoral 4 my Grandmother and also a memorial for a favoured child who died in infancy. For the child - the original marker withered away with the passing of time. So I took it upon myself to purchase a brand new grave marker. The new marker really looked nice. I took photos and also added baby pictures to a memorial I created on FindAGrave.

A short while later while attempting to add more to the child's photo I found out I was no longer in charge of the site. Instead, FindAGrave turned the memorial over to one of their major contributors, a Megan Heyl on the grounds she was the expert concerning my family.

From there this dysfunctional woman took over my mother's memorial in addition to the already 50,000 memorials she has under her belt. With no regard for the family Megan Heyl also added time sensitive material that is really none of her business i.e. listed divorce dates, ex spouses names and material of a more private nature our family did not want to share with the world.

I attempted to get Megan Heyl to turn these memorials back over to the family. She refused. I contacted FindAGrave and they ignored my requests even though their new rules of conduct r very explicit that when confronted these "major contributors" supposed to turn memorials back to the family.

When I protested FindAGrave blocked my isp and booted me out. FindAGrave also threatened me with legal action if I took it any further. For the record I am 75 years old and thinks it pretty [censored]ty of FindAGrave to respond in such a way,

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Michael O'Fass
, US
Feb 17, 2022 2:08 pm EST

Too bad someone doesn't start a class action lawsuit against "Find A Grave." I do not care how many countless hours "Find A Grave's cyber ghouls put into it. The bottom-line...Not every family wants to be part of "Find A Grave's internet kingdom." Some of us are private people and just want to be left alone. Unfortunately anonymity is not one of "Find A Grave's" strong points. "Find A Grave" thrives on harvesting cemetery data with no regard to family wishes. This is totally wrong. However there is not a lot that can be done about it. "Find A Grave's" support generally ignores family requests in favour of their cyber ghouls who r constantly on the lookout to create just one more memorial in hopes of hitting the million mark. Nuff said,

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Michael O'Fass
, US
Feb 05, 2022 7:15 pm EST

Many Find A Grave ghouls r also members of ancestry . com. These ghouls harvest photos from non private trees and then post the info on Find A Grave. In many cases these ghouls comb local obits and reprint them on Find A Grave. My advice.. If you want to create a memorial for a loved one and be free of Find A Grave ghouls go to "Forever Missed." There are two types of Memorials you can create..the basic similar to Find A Grave is free. The pay version is a one time 30 bucks. For your money u can add videos, music and unlimited photos. However with "Forever Missed" you r the creator and nobody can come along and take control.

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Elizabeth Dickinson
, US
Nov 03, 2019 7:27 pm EST
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Several times I've asked for corrections on my Mother's memorials. Nothing has been done and I'm upset!

There are spelling errors and incorrect info. How may I get my issues addressed? I have contacted find a grave through their website and received one response but no corrections!

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JeffreyDean
Old Town, US
Mar 12, 2021 9:50 am EST

Just so you know. Findagrave.com user terms require anyone managing a memorial to turn management control over to a direct relative when requested. Create a findagrave.com account and then click "suggest edits" and then there will be an option to request management of the memorial. Send that to the person clearly outlining your direct relationship. Be aware, many of these idiots will NOT give you management and when you contact findagrave.com they don't care. They do nothing about it. So, it's a crap shoot, but some do turn them over.

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B.Spivey
Tacoma, Washington, US
Aug 08, 2021 12:29 am EDT
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That is true, however I have requested several times even sent the find a grave and as you said they don’t care. I even added a picture of my relative and the person “told@ me to take it down

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M. Barboza
, US
Jan 01, 2022 2:17 pm EST

Not true! Findagrave does not relinquish hold on a memorial when their representative is not reachable to contact. In other words, if the contact person is "not accepting messages, " and they do this intentionally, you won't be able to reach them, to request management control.

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Michelle Whitman
, US
Dec 03, 2022 4:45 am EST
Replying to comment of M. Barboza

I am fighting that fight right now - mt grandparents' pages that I have rights to (by F/A/G community guide lines) are held by a random woman that posted in her biography how annoyed she is by people requesting that she fix incorrect information. I contacted the support team and had two replies, then nothing but silence for close to a month now in regards to managing the pages of the people that raised me (blood related).

I personally manage a few sites that are people related to me through marriage, and several relatives more than one generation removed from me. I check notifications daily so that any family with closer ties may contact me and have their memorial transferred to them (especially since that is supposed to be how it works).

There are many kind and helpful people on F/A/G. There are also the ones on a power trip that treat memorial pages like Pokemon(TM) cards. You're not alone in your complaint.

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Styck
, US
Sep 30, 2019 9:31 am EDT
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When I started genealogy research 2 years ago I was grateful to find information on loved ones. But this past month has been a nightmare. Was unaware of postings for my 8 year old daughter and recently deceased mother-in-law. Contacted manager of my daughter's "site" who has refused to remove information I object to from daughter's bio or agree to transfer the memorial to me. My daughter was kidnapped, sexually assaulted and murdered and the manager posted numerous newspaper articles about this in the bio section. Seriously? Why would anyone think it's OK to post biographical information like this about an 8 year old? Since my daughter's crime is unsolved I have reported this to the detectives on the case. My mother-in-law's site is totally inaccurate; says where she's buried. However she has not had a burial service, I'm looking at her urn right now and her obituary stated "private internment held at a later date". Yet the "manager" of this site refuses to correct the error after I informed them that I'm a family member and provided them with a link to the named cemetery which lists the names of all individuals buried there. Manager bases their reasoning for not correcting this on a cemetery advertisement that was below my loved one's obituary and responded that "you don't know what you're talking about." It's bad players like these that makes you question the motives of some of the [censored] contributors.

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JeffreyDean
Old Town, US
Mar 12, 2021 9:51 am EST
Replying to comment of Styck

Just so you know. Findagrave.com user terms require anyone managing a memorial to turn management control over to a direct relative when requested. Create a findagrave.com account and then click "suggest edits" and then there will be an option to request management of the memorial. Send that to the person clearly outlining your direct relationship. Be aware, many of these idiots will NOT give you management and when you contact findagrave.com they don't care. They do nothing about it. So, it's a crap shoot, but some do turn them over.

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hahasushi what
, US
Sep 06, 2021 1:31 am EDT
Replying to comment of Styck

I understand you way too well, and I am so sorry that they lack enough common sense to put that sort of private information up online. My older brother was put up on findagrave without my family's permission, which my mother found out about years ago, and she wasn't given a reply when she requested to have it removed. It is purely disgusting what they do, I understand the bit of finding relatives and such, however adding details like that is just revolting.

I wish you good luck and I hope they've taken it down, I sincerely apologize for what you must be/have been going through/went through.

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M. Barboza
, US
Jan 01, 2022 2:19 pm EST

Findagrave has mounted information against my permission, and I'm having to retain an attorney because of find-a-grave's unscrupulous behavior.

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Steve Stfia
, US
Mar 06, 2022 4:21 pm EST

In most cases they don't. If u persist you are banned for harassing the top contributor who now manages the Memorial "you" created. Most likely FindAGrave will also threaten u with law enforcement for stalking in addition to legal action. Don't buy into it. You haven't done anything wrong. Consider it a blessing. You really don't need all the drama FindAGrave's hierarchy throws in your face. An alternative - Forever Missed. Several plans available. The free plan is basic. But unlike FindAGrave you are in control and its you who decide on what data is included in the memorial. Forever Missed's top package is something like $30.00 bucks. U can add unlimited photos in addition to music mp3 files + plus videos. Like FB you control what's on the page. U can also change photos and music any time u want...no restrictions. The nice thing about "Forever Missed" the memorial is yours. You don't have to play Looney tunes with a top contributor ever. Sigh of relief.

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The Lost Hour
, US
May 10, 2019 6:24 pm EDT
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I am not going to get into a long heated debate with anyone on here so let me get that out of the way first. Second, for anyone on here who has lost a loved one and finds the work we do (freely without pay and out of the kindness of our hearts... most of us anyway) "disgusting, or that it infringes on your privacy, copyright laws and personal property", I am sorry that you feel that way. My condolences to you and your family.

Next... disgusting is a point of view. I find the time that I put in is 99.9% of the time greatly appreciated by family that is looking to connected to those ancestors or family members that have left this world. I do it because it helps many people to feel closer to a loved one. And if we are being honest, in the moments of grief and loss no one wants to look like an *** by taking a photo at the funeral and the pain families struggle with for weeks, months and even years later prevent most families from ever doing it. Most of us do it to honor your family member and to ensure in 100 years, their descents have a way to feel more connected. You might be surprised to know that many people find the image of their ancestor's headstone more real than a photo of them taken when they were alive.

Next... Unless a person trespasses on to a privately owned plot/cemetery that is NOT owned or operated by a non-profit or the county/state, we are not infringing on your privacy. There are very few privately owned cemeteries in the US. Graves do not have copyrights either. Copyrights are used for written material for the purpose of "making lawful copies". Furthermore, nobody actually "owns" a grave. While the gravesite or plot is purchased and owned by the person who will be buried there, or by a family member as needed when someone passes, it cannot be sold (thus it is not property owned). It is essentially a long term lease from the cemetery. The actual property is owned by the cemetery or county/state and what you, me and the rest of the world "owns" is the space set aside for our loved ones.

I know this might be making some of you angry and further irritated with us "disgusting gravers", but the reality is no laws are broken by taking a photo of a headstone. For all legal purposes, it is not your loved one, it is a memorial for your loved one. You put it there to honor them and share your love for them in a public place for anyone who is in the cemetery to see, behold and treasure for generations to come. Being bitter and calling people names because you are upset is wrong. Not everyone who takes photos of graves is unwilling to respond. Not everyone who provides this service (and yes it is a service... maybe not to you NOW but to future generations who will be very happy someone like me gifted my time and love for family history to make sure their ancestor could be found.. definitely).

All in all, I will say it again. I am sorry that your loved one has passed. My heart goes out to you. I don't know who took your daughter's photo (or anyone else in here). What I do know is this... tracking down ancestor graves is HARD work. I can spend DAYS combing a cemetery with over 15, ooo headstones to find just one. But when I find it, post it and notify the requestor that are overjoyed. For me, THAT is worth all the complaining offered by a few families who are upset their loved one's photo is on **** or any other site. If anyone asks me to remove their family members headstone I will gladly do so, if you can prove you are a direct relative. Why? Because you are not their ONLY relative and others requested or may want to see it.

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Aviation
, US
Jul 29, 2021 9:26 am EDT
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1. For some cemeteries, it is against their policy to allow pic taking/give plot info to non-family for security/privacy purposes.
2. Removing pics at their request is Respect. There should be no emotional attachment on the part of a picture taker.
3. "if you can prove you are a direct relative"...How is proving done over the internet to a stranger ?

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Vanessa Chance Young
, US
Nov 09, 2021 3:47 pm EST

The fact alone that you are completely disregarding this mother’s concerns shows how much you actually care. If a family member has asked you to remove a memorial, than you do it. Some people do not want their family members in the site, and it’s not your God-given right as a volunteer to ignore that.

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Michael O'Fass
, US
Feb 05, 2022 6:42 pm EST

No one asked you to meddle in family ties

Get a life.

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Steve Stfia
, US
Mar 05, 2022 10:38 pm EST

After reading this post I know now who killed Vaudeville

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Steve Stfia
, US
Mar 05, 2022 10:55 pm EST
Replying to comment of Aviation

Forest Lawn/LA (the cemetery of the stars) have a policy regarding photos. If u r family or tourists u can take photos. However if u r a 3rd party vendor.such.is the case with.FindAGrave photo taking strictly forbidden. This commonplace.Memorial Park themed cemeteries. The.rational .they.r.private cemeteries and have

their own unique way of cataloging data

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Fish1452
, US
Jul 12, 2018 2:11 pm EDT

I think Find a Grave is a great site, but, I'm a little concerned with some certain people postings, especially on my ancestors that have been posted by people who do not do the research or who put in the wrong information. That shows me they DID NOT do the research correctly on the memorial. For example, I have a cousin whose memorial was posted, no picture of the headstone, no information on all her pass husbands ( she was married 6 times, only one mentioned because it was on her obituary which was posted in an El Paso, Texas newspaper. I looked at this persons profile and it showed this person had over 1, 000.000 memorials posted, only been a member for 5 years. That also shows me that this person's hobby is spending constant hours on Find a Grave for her/his number count. I've got 10 memorials, TEN, and have been a member for 14 years on Find a Grave. So what does that tell you about this person with over 1, 000, 000 memorials added?

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Kaett
, US
Sep 28, 2021 6:46 pm EDT
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Replying to comment of Fish1452

Totally agree. It is a numbers game and there is no effort put into true research, the bios are limited if they even provide one. Truly pathetic. I have a person doing that with my relatives on my grandparents side of the family and he refuses to turn them over to me. I can only hope I outlive him, so I can reclaim my family. And he is friends with [censored] staff because he had something done to one of my postings so that it could not be edited.

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Kaett
, US
Sep 28, 2021 7:04 pm EDT
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Replying to comment of Kaett

I want to add to my comment above that it is only a numbers game with a few individuals. The one who will not relinquish my relatives said his wife is a relative, however, he admitted she is only a cousin and does not even provide relevant biographical information to their "memorials". In fact, he has added pictures that he took from one of my memorials without any attribution and he cropped the picture to remove my uncle from the picture. When posting pictures it is proper to cite the owner of the photograph. Like Fish1452, I only manage a very few memorials and I have been a member of [censored] for over 20 years. The person who has my grandparents on his list of memorials has 25, 000 and has been there for 15 years. I would say that many members provide relevant information and are not "collectors" of graves and the service they provide in invaluable. My problem is with the company who does not do a better job of arbitrating with people who want to hoard other people's relatives. If the family wants their relatives and has proved the relationship, then their request should be honored.

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Steve Stfia
, US
Mar 08, 2022 11:46 am EST
Replying to comment of Fish1452

You will get no place arguing with FindAGrave's hierarchy or major contributors. FindAGrave is LSD an extension of the Mormon Church. Mormons view of religion is a little different than Western thought. Mormons believe u enter the after life based on "works" namely procreation, In life Mormons collect huge volumes of data. Then rebaptize the dead into the Mormon faith. Unlike Western thought Mormons do not believe in a trinity and some deny Christ as the son of God. What they do believe in concerning an after life is an eternal plain that is tended by a mother and father God. The faithful go there to have extended families, extended spouses and an eternity of children/ For those who don't make it there a lower level...a work camp of sorts kind of like a purgatory. Once redeemed these souls may enter heaven and start having children

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Kim Morrill
, US
Mar 12, 2022 10:56 am EST

Find A Grave is not owned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It is owned by Ancestry and Ancestry is not owned by the church. But thanks for hijacking this thread. I am sure you can find another forum for that discussion.

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Michael O'Fass
, US
Mar 13, 2022 1:29 pm EDT

Findagrave sucks. Their top contributors do not research people. They are more interested in grabbing a tombstone in hopes of getting brownie points.

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Arwhen
, US
Jun 23, 2018 12:43 pm EDT

Hun, Your daughter's grave and headstone are in a PUBLIC PLACE...people use find a grave for RESEARCH reasons, and to SAVE these names for posterity...they do it because THEY CARE..not for any money or fame . MANY people are SEARCHING for their relatives, and they can not afford to fly to every cemetery in America...Thank God people CARE ENOUGH to go to the cemeteries and take pictures, and post them on the ONLY FREE SITE of it's kind, find a grave! In memory of your daughter, why don't you start a family tree of your own, for your relatives and descendants to enjoy. That way she will be REMEMBERED, and not forgotten ...

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Michael O'Fass
, US
Feb 05, 2022 6:48 pm EST
Replying to comment of Arwhen

Spare me. Many of these memorials contain more than headstones. Many contain personal info that many families wish 2 keep private. The dead could care less what u do. But the living do have feelings and find grave ghouls violate confidentiality.

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Dennis Westenfeld
, US
Mar 13, 2022 8:26 am EDT

I am a contributor with over 800 memorials added, mostly from the 1800's. I only post a headstone photo that I personally have taken and sometimes link a person to a spouse. What burns me up is when people sitting at home are too lazy to go out and take real photos and instead make a memorial from an obituary with useless or private information about the deceased and family members and add the obituary photo of the deceased. It has nothing to do with a grave or burial plot. People like that just want to get numbers and be big on the web site. FindAGrave was meant to help people find where someone's last resting place was. I have helped many people find long lost ancestors from several generations back with many not knowing where their ancestors were buried.

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Notmyname13
Saratoga Springs, US
Oct 16, 2022 7:47 pm EDT

If people want to keep stuff private, then they shouldn’t print obituaries

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Johnny The Critic
, US
Jan 20, 2018 7:28 am EST

Well for all the money findagrave is apparently making if they want my help fulfilling the hundreds of requests in my local graveyard then they'e going to have to pull some money out of that old sock and put up. I got a kick from this off their faq page:

Can I charge money as a Photo Volunteer?

No. Find A Grave does not allow Photo Volunteers to charge money for volunteering.

^^^^^Seems to me that they are taking advantage of the people doing the photography. Sure, sure if you're anal enough to enjoy all that cataloging and picture takin, etc then fine, but your getting screwed and smiling about it... Might want to learn some self respect. Get those cheap skates to pay you! They're making a tidy bundle off of your work.

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Tylercat
, US
May 18, 2018 4:49 pm EDT
Verified customer This comment was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

Many people enjoy walking through cemeteries and taking pictures. They are getting fresh air and exercise. Mostly we are retired in any case. Imagine if people were making money from posting these photos. The site would consist solely of faked pictures. In many cases the correct markers can't be located or definitely identified, especially when they are old. So then what, do you expect to get paid anyway? Nobody is asking you to do anything so don't worry about it.

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Arwhen
, US
Jun 23, 2018 12:45 pm EDT

Find a grave is a free site for all

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Parrot person
, US
Jan 21, 2021 2:36 pm EST
Replying to comment of Arwhen

Findagrave is a profitable business. There are ads on most pages from which they make revenue, and they charge family members to remove the ads from their loved one's profile.

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Mark Gassaway Carter
, US
Nov 10, 2017 1:30 am EST

I feel sorry for you, and I can understand about feeling like you have been exploited.At the same time though if It had not been for find a grave .com. I could not have been able to see my fathers grave plot at all. I live in central Va. and my father's plot is in Elliott City, there . My complaint is with the new change to the website, I lost the links that were on the old webpage that linked my family members together. All the information I had compiled on John Hanson Gassaway2 . just disappeared ? The info on him was compiled by several members, and info from members of the Montgomery county Md. Historical Society. We had collected written history of his life and contributions to Montgomery county Md. All that info is gone now! This politically correct world is becoming ridicules when we can't even tell historical facts about people .One of my relatives committed suicide because his wife left him do to he drank to much . all the info that told about who he was related to, and the story that was in the newspaper is gone from his web site now . There was facks about my Grate grand mother that had been compiled on his web site telling where she was born in Ireland, all the exact details about her life, Who her brother was ? things I will never get back now. I am wandering am I, going to have to pay Ancestery .Com now for all the info that was suppose to be free on find. A Grave .Com ?

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fydor
, RO
Oct 13, 2017 1:34 am EDT

The information on six posts are false and falsely placed according to statements of family and or records listed. family names are listed incorrectly, incorrect spellings of names, incorrect places of birth, incorrect pictures of where bodies are buried and, incorrect lineage noted. information was given on three people is on people that are still alive ; so cause of death listed incorrectly, since people are still alive, not d e a d! I am not dead, yet!
this fraud is a sociopathic means of lying and a person getting their false praise and getting money for their prostitution.

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Arwhen
, US
Jun 23, 2018 12:49 pm EDT
Replying to comment of fydor

SO HELP OUT! send in corrections! everyone wants the records to be as correct as we can get them!
no one is getting money for doing this work...

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Rory Bowers
, US
Jun 28, 2017 3:06 pm EDT

STRONGLY Agree. Find A Grave contributors are not responsible for the content of the memorials they create. As a result, misspelled names, incorrect dates of birth and dates of death, unrelated family members... and the list goes on, are written in these memorials. It is both hurtful and embarrassing to family members. Find A Grave is eventually going to be sued and it will undoubtedly take down the site and their business. All because they are not respectful of families and not responsible for the content.

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Arwhen
, US
Jun 23, 2018 12:48 pm EDT

SO HELP OUT! send in corrections! everyone wants the records to be as correct as we can get them!

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 7:24 pm EST

You must ask permission from the deceased person's family before you take those headstone photos. This is very basic courtesy.
Ask for permission. Not just steal.

Even when you use facebook other person photo, u must also ask owner permission. Unless you really know that person, u can directly share or steal. Even if it's only photo share, if you not ask owner. Owner block you. Are you going to say "facebook is public, not yours. If you not wish photo being shared, dont put"

Are you going to blame the owner (Photo copyright owner) by saying that facebook is really public, every photo you put can be stolen anytime by any online person. If you really not wish photo being f###ed by starngers, dont put them on line

Man it's their photo not your photo.

The headstone is the dead and their family, not yours.

This is not even "precious hard work" when you steal the headstone photo and put on your own findagrave.com

Findagrave has a rule, family and friend of dead can report stolen headstone photo to findagrave staff and staff can remove the page down and suspend that member (Creator)

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SerenitySoul
, US
Dec 08, 2017 1:28 pm EST

@ОЛИВЬЕ, no one has to ask permission to photograph a headstone.

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 7:20 pm EST

Stealing ppl headstone on your camera and put online on your own findagrave page, is not even hard work, it's vandalism

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 7:19 pm EST

Reading sharon haywood post i just wanna laugh at her.

She said "you can not ruin people precious hard work" which makes me underlook her.

She means, if she goes around grave, to glorify herself and her findagrave records. She can even risk to take grave photos unauthorized

This is not hard work. This is not precious. This is stealing/theft/vandalism.
And sharon shout out loud "this is my precious hard work"

Precious hard work needs to respect copyright, do u understand, sharon haywood
Not you wish to steal you go steal, then claim that photo is own by yourself. Do u know.

You must ask permission from the deceased person's family before you take those headstone photos. This is very basic courtesy.
Ask for permission. Not just steal.

Even when you use facebook other person photo, u must also ask owner permission. Unless you really know that person, u can directly share or steal. Even if it's only photo share, if you not ask owner. Owner block you. Are you going to say "facebook is public, not yours. If you not wish photo being shared, dont put"

Are you going to blame the owner (Photo copyright owner) by saying that facebook is really public, every photo you put can be stolen anytime by any online person. If you really not wish photo being f###ed by starngers, dont put them on line

Man it's their photo not your photo.

The headstone is the dead and their family, not yours.

This is not even "precious hard work" when you steal the headstone photo and put on your own findagrave.com

Findagrave has a rule, family and friend of dead can report stolen headstone photo to findagrave staff and staff can remove the page down and suspend that member (Creator)

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 6:42 pm EST

your daughter photo is not their property but your property, this site has problems of using other person photo. especially if the girl is even NOT DEAD YET. this is serious violation to your daughter's personal image/reputation. because if her friends/her classmates/classmates parents. see that photo on findagrave site.

what is findagrave, answer me. yes it's funeral site. people would mistaken that she had died. this is quite/very serious. especially towards Chinese superstitious people. they think that, if your photo is put there, you will die fast. the site should really remove that photo especially if your 6-yr daugther had not died.
putting undead people photo on die site. think how bad it would mean. not all people know your daughter had not really died.
yes ask findagrave admin delete that photo. but you know sir. internet is free to use. if you put your daughter photo online, anyone can also use it without letting you know
you are lucky enough to find findagrave steal your daughter photo but it's just a fortune you find out, many people online may use your daughter photos already. better not put personal photos online(esp girl naked photos)

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Beverley Groen-Johns
, US
May 03, 2016 4:51 pm EDT

When someone has refused to transfer a grave site, I have gone on and duplicated it with an explanation. When I add names, etc. I gladly turn them over to family members who want to put information and pictures. I feel it is their family member and they should be allowed to honor them. Then someone sends a correction I will ask if they are family. It isn't about money or the amount of headstones I can download, it is about carrying on family history. I am amazed at people who have done 20, 000+ headstones, don't they have a life. I have been in a cemetery when a church group of about 30 swooped in and started downloading headstones. By the time I got home 2 hours later my family was already loaded. Wasted my time...Find A Grave has changed a lot since it changed hands. Not happy about it.

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 6:43 pm EST

now findagrave deletes burial records and members now. findagrave can no longer secure any dead grave names.

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 6:44 pm EST

now findagrave even suspended me and deleted my dead freind burial records. nobody would really be happy with findagrave anymore.!

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Stolen Family
, US
Mar 07, 2016 4:12 pm EST
Verified customer This comment was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

I wanted to create a memorial for my grandfather and grandmother on Find A Grave. When I checked, I fond that somebody already did and the info is all wrong as well. I asked for a transfer but got NO RESPONSE.
Does it occur to them that maybe just maybe its a memorial site and that the FAMILY might want to create the memorial and have correct information on their loved ones memorials.
Yes, I know what they are supposed to do.. They are supposed to transfer but don't.
God forbid you had a famous relative?

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 7:01 pm EST

if you harass the creatoer or the grave page owner, they will report you harass them and they will ban your profile in findagrave.

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Missy25
, US
Dec 30, 2015 10:00 pm EST

A trojan virus downloaded onto my computer when I was on Find A Grave and clicked on a family name within a memorial. My computer system is set up to alert me if something downloads without my permission so it was caught almost immediately. I tried to inform Find A Gave of the issue but to no avail. They just would not listen. They don't care if their site is riddled with viruses and unsuspecting computer catch it. Sad, because I do not want to return to the site now.

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Marthann Kohl-Fuhs
Defiance, US
Jun 25, 2015 2:46 pm EDT
Verified customer This comment was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

I had been a member for several years. Added almost 3000 memorials. And almost as many gravestone photos. Some person going by Ladybug (member #[protected]) {note doesn't even use a REAL name, address, email, etc.} - had parents of someone posted in the wrong cemetery, so I photocopied the page from the cemetery book & posted it on the pages for her parents to show correct place of burial, Ladybug threw a fit, reported me & I got the boot; Ladybug was rude as heck to me in several emails, but I guess that doesn’t matter. I didn’t even get an email from Find A Grave to warn me.
I can still look at stuff, I just can’t add anything, correct anything, or do ANYTHING at all. Not even the ones I paid to sponsor!

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 7:02 pm EST

actually you should not find ladybug person. they suspended you like how they suspended me right today.

if you harass someone they will report to Findagrave staff and your account will be ban

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 7:03 pm EST

Ladybug is just one of those rude f## people. Many f## people are very unfriednly

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 7:04 pm EST

when ladybug reported you, findagrave banned you so you can NOT see anything

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richard_blunk
, US
Apr 10, 2015 10:10 am EDT

I've created over a thousand memorials and thousands of photos, some were by request, others not. I've received over 100 thank you emails from people who were searching for a loved one and happened upon the memorial or the photo of the loved one or their headstone. I've only received 1 complaint telling me (mind you not asking me) to remove the memorial. I respect a families wishes whenever possible but in this instance it appears it was his daughter wanting it removed although her siblings wanted it to stay. I asked that they please have the spouse or parents of that person contact me and I'd be glad to do whatever they wished but I wouldn't remove it from just that email. I never heard back so it's still there. ----- And as far as "trampling on a grave" I am ALWAYS careful to NOT step on any grave (provided there's still any indication of one) and use my zoom lens instead. ----- I can't tell you how many old cemeteries I've documented that were in such total disrepair and vandalism that you couldn't read the stones even after you put them back together. THAT's THE REAL DISHONOR. They need to be documented while they still exist so future family members can honor their memory too. I think it's very selfish to want to keep them to yourself. Stone doesn't last forever . . . especially those from earlier days.

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 7:09 pm EST

the email is from his daughter (she claim it's his daughter) but sounds like it's pretending his daughter.

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singatune
, US
Nov 20, 2014 6:51 pm EST
Verified customer This comment was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

I arrived on this page because I just had a conversation with my husband that when I pass away not to have an obituary published in newspaper and to only have a headstone with my name, no date of birth or death. I also discussed talking to attorney to see if I could get some type of restraining order to prohibit my grave site from appearing on ###. I want to RIP. I am a private person in life and I want privacy when I die. If that means I have a rock to mark my burial site, so be it. I can see that people have different points of few, but some posts here have been rather tackless, almost cruel and cruel. I hope in the near future that there will be a legal challenge to ### as to whether they have a property right to post gravesites without permission for those who have passed away "after" a set period of time, similar to release of census records. Finally, ### is neither all bad or all good, but some issues need to be addressed in civilized matter and in fairness to all users.

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 7:11 pm EST
Replying to comment of singatune

I agree with you Singatune,

because findagrave should NOT allow people take unauthorized headstone and claim "DEAD PEOPLE PRIVACY IS GONE"

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Sharon Haywood
Humble, US
Nov 15, 2014 10:42 am EST

Every one listen, this website is a blessing to everyone that's on it, it was put here to view memorials and find peace. It was not put here for it to be a tug of war or a battleground everyone must follow the rules and regulations and not step on anyone's feet. deleting precious hard work that someone has done is very disrespectful. I have visit grave site that someone had taken a picture of headstones by the time I got there years later the headstone was clean and more visible. I took a picture of that visible headstone and attach it to the memorial I did not delete someone else work that is totally disrespectful. we are adults providing precious information to those who cannot visit a grave site. Be mindful of what you say and you must have respect in dealing with this. I have only been a member maybe 6 months I would never delete anyones work. so please everyone do not turn this beautiful website into a horror story. There was a find a grave worker in Bastrop County, Texas I made a photo request of one of my great great great uncle who was born in the 1800's this gentleman took his time to go and take that picture when it was uploaded on the website and I got a email that the pictures once there I was in tears and was so grateful because I do not live near the county.So will everyone please calm down and do not turn this into a savage match, because this website is a blessing to some of us maybe not all but there are some of us out here that appreciate this website and wish it to stay on the website. God bless you all !

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 7:12 pm EST

it's your choice to take unauthorized headstone and put on findagrave. ti's not "HARD WORK. " or "PRECIOUS HARD WORK"

theft is wrong. unless you really know that person
if you not know the person, you take their headstone, put on findagrave. their family and freinds HAD EVERY RIGHTS TO ASK FINDAGRAVE REMOVE THAT RECORD

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 7:13 pm EST

Sharon Haywood. answer me one thing. are you saying that STEALING PEOPLE HEADSTONE WITHOUT AUTHORIZE IS CALLED PRECIOUS HARD WORK

if realy so (if so). you regretted your parents and teachers who teach you every knowledge.

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hahasushi what
, US
Sep 06, 2021 1:24 am EDT

Hi Sharon! I'd like to say that this website is in fact, not a blessing. I understand why it is a blessing to some people, however it does in fact invade the privacy of many families. This website uses future generations as an excuse to take photos of children, babies, adults, of all ages and post them online. It is in fact not precious hard work, it is simply walking around and taking pictures of graves. It is invasion of privacy, and simply does not follow any morals. Most people defending this site use finding a passed family member from hundreds of years ago as an excuse, and I understand that, however I do not understand that they take pictures of children only recently passed. I am 13 years old and I understand this more than the adults doing this out of "the kindness of their hearts."

"Be mindful of what you say and you must have respect dealing with this." Well, Sharon Haywood, many of the volunteers here don't even hold an ounce of respect when they do this. Do not bring up respect when you yourself seem to have never even processed the topic.

Sharon, if I may say, you are ridiculous. Or at least you were, as I'm replying to this years after your post. Please, get your morals together, get in touch with reality, and then get back to me and clear up what you have stated.

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Heart77
, US
Oct 14, 2021 9:29 am EDT
Verified customer This comment was posted by a verified customer. Learn more

You wrote:
It was not put here for it to be a tug of war or a battleground everyone must follow the rules and regulations

My response is that there are too many members on Find A Grave who do NOT follow the rules. Find A Grave should monitor this kind of behavior, and if those people refuse to follow the rules, then they should be banned. Their memorials should be taken over by Find A Grave, and Find A Grave can follow the rules it sets forth. When a member will not relinquish a memorial to a direct family member (as stated in the rules), then they are breaking the rules... and they should loose their privilege to use Find A Grave.

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Michael O'Fass
, US
Feb 05, 2022 6:58 pm EST

BS..Find A Grave is a hang out for graveyard ghouls. Find A Grave is also owed by Mormons who get browie points 4 baptising the dead into their faith. When confronted they claim they r performing.a service if families want it or not.

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sdm1995
, US
Aug 21, 2014 12:05 pm EDT

I am absolutely revolted! My sister's grave is on this site, Eilleen Sien of Colonia, N.J Contacted me by phone and Face Book, my Family DID NOT WANT this information posted! I told her I would not give her the death notice or pictures, she harassed me and it was done anyway without our knowledge. It is a disgusting desecration on my sister's grave and memory! I really do not care what other people think, or if it is public record. Did I post the information of the drunk teenager that killed her? NO I DID NOT! My sister's children are in their 20's they do not want to go to or see her grave. TAKE IT DOWN you ###!

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 7:00 pm EST
Replying to comment of sdm1995

if NJ harass, report to findagrave. they will ban her.

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Ruby_Ruby
Afton, US
Jun 18, 2014 12:22 pm EDT

The whole point of a grave stone is to publicly honor the person's life. Whether that is seen in person or photographed and posted online, I guess I don't see the difference. I understand how it would feel really wrong to have a young child, recently gone, posted on the site but I really don't think there's much to be done about it. The information is public, online or not. Everyone feels differently about this though. I've done a small number of photo requests from the site at a local cemetery. That is, relatives asking that someone who lives locally go document a grave because they can't do so themselves.

I don't love how Find A Grave is run and it irks me that much of the information on the site is really terribly inaccurate, but presented in a manner that makes many people take it as fact, and impossible to correct or contribute to with the territorial attitude that the managing of memorials seems to foster. However, I owe much to volunteers on the site who have posted information that I would never have been able to obtain without a major roadtrip with a quick visit to the website. It's a wonderful starting point for research, though I'd never, ever take anything I found on the site as credible in itself.

For what it is worth, when I fulfill a photo request, I never stand on a grave. There's an etiquette to these things, whether anyone follows it or not.

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ОЛИВЬЕ
, US
Jan 11, 2017 6:59 pm EST
Replying to comment of Ruby_Ruby

Ruby is right. I dont like findagrave too. Non related people can steal your family (Dead family dead friends) photo/headstone, and put online in their name on creator list, when you ask them transfer to you, they said no and even claim to staff you harass they. Then you are suspended. Nobody would love f## site.