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DYFS-Mentoring Program / Not screening foster homes

1 NJ, United States Review updated:

DYFS needs to be more diligent in screening applicants to be foster parents for their so-called mentoring program. A lot of the people they choose are in it solely for the money and don't give a damn about the kids they are supposed to be caring for. Case in point: A couple of years ago we adopted a lovely little boy from the DYFS system . We know now that adopting him may have saved his life. He was living in a so-called "mentor home" in a hole called Browns Mills, NJ with a woman that only took in foster kids to make money off the system. She was abusive to the children and didn't even bother to see that they had clean or properly fitting clothes. When the child we adopted was moved from her house to ours, she sent his belongings in deplorable condidtion. The clothes were too small and most of them were filthy and disgusting. We ended up throwing EVERYTHING out and buying him a new wardrobe. The evil old witch also kept things that other people had given him, including a bike, a video game system and money! DYFS pays anywhere from $600 to over $1000 a month per child for caring for these kids. This is to cover expenses for the kids such as food, clothing, recreational outings, etc. My child said that all he was fed in her home were hot dogs, mac and cheese and "cup-o-noodles!"

Add to this, the fact that we've been told stories of how she abused(physically) him and the other kids under her care, and made them terrified to tell their social workers what was going on with threats and intimidation. We have discussed filing a lawsuit against her, but it would be hard to prove wrongdoing as we did not witness the abuse and it would be our child's word against hers. So for now, we are just grateful that God blessed us with him and blessed him with a loving home where he is cherished, well nourished and given the opportunities to survive and thrive!

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  • Da
      19th of May, 2009
    +2 Votes

    My understanding is that there are live-in role models/mentors and foster caregivers. Most are mentors, who are nothing more than glorified roommates, which is where the problem begins.

    These are the people who are in it just for the money, generally not the foster caregivers. These people are the easiest to find because they really don't have much responsibility. They just supply a roof, food, and clothing; they have next to no say in the behavior of these children and teens, and don't want any. These so-called mentors are usually in the low-to-middle income brackets, and in most cases are single. Child protection laws allow records on all involved to be kept confidential, so it is almost impossible for even investigative reporters to obtain information. DYFS is essentially an agency cloaked in secrecy.

    I have caught a mentor, living in an apartment below mine, having sex with a woman in front of a mentally disturbed foster male teen living with him. On several occassions the boy would walk in on him, while he was having sex, and stay for the duration. The mentor and his friend would neither yell at him or stop what they were doing. I notified DYFS and they replaced the mentor with another idiot. The mentors never disclose their relationship, and the mentally disturbed teens ( many of the foster children have maladaptive behavior, and are kept hidden in the apartments) are allowed to run at night.

    I was a foster child who was fortunate enough to be adopted by my foster caregivers at a very young age. However, the majority of those sheltering todays foster children are not foster caregivers, although that seems to be the title DYFS prefers to use; they are really nothing more than services-for-hire. This is the way it is, and this is the way it will probably stay!

    I am thankful I was a foster child in the 50's and not one today.

  • Rs
      27th of May, 2009
    0 Votes

    Im so sorry you went through this, at the moment my children where taken without proof by a insane worker who was knocking on another door for a half an hour. Screaming obsenaties at there door. When she called me and I talked her to my door. She was so out of it. She was in a manic state she could hardly talk or think. She jumped from thought to thought and made no sense what so ever. It came down from different things to finally my children will go with her for 3 days only. Then come back to me. My children had not once mark on them and left with I never layed a hand on them in there whole life. It changed to I beat them All THE TIME. I dont see how since they have not a scratch on them. To them placing them with my parents who do have a abuse charge on them and my father has in the last decade broken my wrist. They as well promised me they would not place them there at ALL. I do not believe these workers know what they are doing. I think they are just walking around in a fog, making up stories and ripping poor families apart. Since then my happy healthy children, who had great social skills. (oh and never a mark on them) are now covered in boo boo's and are now socially backwards and broken. They as well where the best in there class. Now there grades are nose dived. If They where in danger and I was such a monster. Why are they suffering now and not then? :(

    These workers are like cracker jacks and your really lucky you survived. I wish somebody would listen to me. :(. My kids recently told me that they would told to say I hit them. Im furious, How does this happen under our noses. I have time out areas in my home from the yrs spent there. We do time outs. and you can tell we do them. The paint and wall paper is picked off the walls in there spots. Does cps want to see that NO!!

    I think I need to write me own huh...

    anyway well god bless...

  • Un
      2nd of Oct, 2009
    +1 Votes

    Sorry to hear what you both went through. My child is thriving, thanks to the love and nurturing his father and I have provided. We did talk to a lawyer about the possibility of suing the mentor/foster mother for the abuse he endured. As I suspected, it would be next to impossible to get anywhere. As Damn Mad said, DYFS is an organization cloaked in secrecy. I just thank God everyday that we were able to come along in our child's life when we did, so that he didn't have to suffer any more abuse under that horrendous system!

  • Sa
      22nd of May, 2010
    0 Votes

    I 100% agree, even if you have those "confidential" records and photos (which I do), no one will look at them. Not the caseworkers, not the supervisors, not the area director, not the NJ State Commissioner, not even the Judge in Family Court who said "I could care less..." uh, uh, "I could care less about the photos". Each time I turn over copies of records, they get ignored. I have audio tape of the child saying the foster mother told me to lie. A DYFS worker (God bless the sincere, hard-working ones) testified in court that the child was crying because he was afraid to go back to that foster home. The judge pretended he didn't understand or hear her. It's a money-making proposition and the children are paying the price. Those who are in it for the money make it so difficult for those who are in it to actually care for the children. The ones who care about the children hit a brick wall when they try to have the cases handled quickly and professionally because the majority of the caseworkers #1 don't care, #2 get paid even if they are incompetent & #3 are "protected" by the system. My thoughts are to fight back by joining with as many friends as possible to become "CASA" workers so that every child has a volunteer overseeing what's really happening in foster "care"...eliminate the excuses used to cover up the horrors of being in foster care.

  • Jo
      6th of Jun, 2011
    0 Votes

    dyfys is being used as a tool to get others in trouble with the system. this is done by the ignorant and satanic. this is not a tool for revenge . the kids pay the final price for this.rapes murders can happen to kids taken from good homes for no reason at all . everyone who this happened to need to come together and fight for new legislation to pass laws against this type of crime !

  • Ta
      19th of Nov, 2011
    0 Votes

    my boys was taken from me at birth just because i have a disability

  • Ta
      19th of Nov, 2011
    0 Votes

    My boys never came home with me from the hospital, after i gave birth to them. DYFS took them because i have a disabilty. There is no other reason for their actions. I feel that my rights was violated as a parent. I also feel that i was discriminated againts. I was never given a chance to prove my ability . My parental rights was terminated and my kids are currently adopted. I'm look for help in trying to overturn the adoption. Because it was wrongful..

  • De
      26th of Apr, 2013
    0 Votes
    dcpandp - took my kids for no reason
    dyfs services
    4 echelon 201 laurel road
    New Jersey
    United States
    Phone: 856-770-1073

    took my kids for no reason adopting them for no reason

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