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On October 18, 2009 CPS became involved in our home, the investigator Betsy Williamson came into our home and treated all of us like criminals she made my daughter and I do drug test right in my living room, we were negative, she told my daughter that she could not attend beauty school while cps was involved that she only had to do what cps is required and nothing else, she was very rude, i made a complaint with her supervisor and when she discussed it with Betsy, Betsy denied saying that, she lied, she had told my daughter twice that she didn't need to worry about school just to put it out of her mind, this is wrong for a cps investigator to tell someone not to get a career just because cps was involved, then she requested my daughter to take an assessment for drug and alcohol to see if she needed to attend counseling, when the results came back, the results stated that my daughter did not need any drug and alcohol classes, this inraged Betsy and she came into my home infront of me and told crystal that this was not exceptable and that she needed to go back and take another assessment and say that she used drugs and alcohol everyday so that she could fail the assessment and be required to take drug and alcohol classes, so my daughter did exactly that scared for losing her child, she failed and was required to completed drug and alcohol counseling, today is july 1st, 2010, she successfully graduated last night june 30, and this past monday june 28, cps lied to the judge to get a emergency order to remove my grandson that day, they went and removed him from daycare, they kept saying that all she needed to do is complete the drug and alcohol class and pass 3 clean randum drug test in a role and they would close the case, she has passed 3 clean drug test in a role and completed this class and now the want a hair folicle to go back several months, all they have done is lie and trick us, they said that if she did'nt take the hair folicle test then they would issue a court order for the folicle, they lied again instead of filing for a court order for the hair folicle they lied on a sworn affidavit to the judge for custody of my grandson, he is 20 months and has ashma very bad and he takes his medicine quite often these days due to his allergies which he has very bad, they didin't even call us to ask us if he was on any medication and they call this in the best interest of the child, the supervisor Jimmie Gabel is a very rude and uncaring supervisor she and i had talked a couple of times on the phone and all she does is yell at me and saids that i am the one yelling at her which indeed it is her, i was upset because they have been lieing to us over and aver and she got mad at me and took these coversation between us to, to lie to the judge to take my grandson, when i confronted her i was crying and wanted to know why she did this and she just looked at me and was smiling and said that i told you i would take him and kept smiling, when i mentioned to her about his ashma she said we heard as if she didn't even care that he needed his medicine and the only way they knew is because i called everyone that i could think of even the judges secretary to see that cps knows that he needed his medicine, Jimmie Gabel is not looking out for the best interest of the children she is only using her position to destroy families because she doesn't think that any parent or grandparent should be mad and upset that they are being threatened to have the babies taking away, she wont look at me to my face because she knows that she has been lieing, what gives her the right to remove a child from his home just because someone makes her mad, she does not belong in a position like that she is costing the agency lots of money just to prove that she can because some idiot gave her to much power she is on a huge powertrip and does not care about the children, she needs to be terminated from her position so this can not keep happening, this should not be personal for her but is for us being that our family has been torn apart, we are sick we cant sleep and are worried about these strangers that they have placed him at, we are having to spend thousands of dollars to fight to bring our beautiful loving baby boy back with us, thank you for listening to my story, this is just a short part of the story, so much more has happened i don't have time to finish, if anyone knows how we can stop this dishonesty behavior in the cps department in taylor texas please call me i will be willing to do all i can to put an end to this our children are paying the price for this criminal act on cps, my name is lisa guerra [protected], i would like to hear your input. these are the names that lied to us, Betsy Williamson, Gabina Castaneda, Jimmie Gabel all Willianson County
theres nothing wrong with trying to save a child if need be, it's the way they go about it lies and tricks, we keep our word they should keep theres
thank you for your input, my husband and myself and the baby are the ones paying the price, we are hurt and so lost without him, he has been living with us since he came home from the hospital this is his home, we don't even want to be home because his memories are all over the place, toys, clothes, pictures, we are heart broken and sick that we are walking around like robots, we only pray and cry everyday for cps to bring him back home with us where he belongs, we are his grandparents and only want him safe, we don't know where he is, i believe that he is in a safe place and will be given all the love he deserves, i have to believe this or i will drive myself crazy thinking that he is not being cared for, but no one can ever love him like we do, he is a very loving and happy boy, i am just wanting someone to hear me and help me with this horrible pain that i can not shake, it's hard to talk about this to friends and family, because all we do is ball, i feel like my chest has a huge lump in it, i can't explain the pain all i know is that it is destroying our hearts without him,
thanks again for your honesty.
Hello, thank you, we are in the process of getting her out, she has been calling and interviewing soberhomes, it's just the process can take some time, but we have no time to wait, she has found a couple of places to rent, she just needs to get all the money and paper work together, according to our resources she should be out by tuesday, due to the holiday on monday which will cost her time on getting utilities connected, cps had ran a background check on all of us in the house and allowed my grandson to stay with us, but since my daughter was here, it just didn't work out and they took him, we hired an attorney and he is going to do all that he can to get us back the baby, but my daughter will no longer reside here with us again, the baby comes first and we will do all that we can to make sure he will be in a safe and stable environment, cps allowed my daughter to live here until she refused the hair follicle, but we can't keep beating ourselves up saying if only this because we really believed in our hearts that we were keeping the baby safe, he has never been hurt by his mother or anyone, never, but what's done is done and we can only fight with all we got to get him back and never give up, thank you so much for being kind to me.
I have had involvement with this crackhead, Jimmie Gabel. I explained nicely to her that my children were being coached by their mother. I had an OK CPS case worker, a psychiatrist and several witnesses. she said, we don't have enough evidence. then her OWN EMPLOYEE STATES IN HIS REPORT THERE APPEARS TO BE COACHING. Jimmie, if you're reading this you know who I am, and I am going to sue the crap out of you personally and make your kids grow up poor.
This is so sad and makes me litterally ill, My Grand daughter has recently been taken from her mother. The father my son was just recently sentenced to prison trying to protect the mother of his child. he has been in jail through out her intire pregnancy. This will be the third child she has either given up or lost. I had been raising my grand daughter since she was 2 month's and since I did not yet have custody just a temporary notary on my Grand daughter they refuse to place her with me because of a past record. I am now 51 and not only lost my son but now they are trying to keep her from her grand mother me for a past I paid for dearly. I need help and have never been through anything like this in my life. I raised 3 boys alone and have 5 grand children. Texas cps doesn't seem like they want to help our children but place them instead with stranger's. I have a son in Arizona that just got out of prison 2 months ago after 7 year's in prison. Cps has his girlfriends two children. He just past cps' in arizona and can be with his girlfriend and her children. my cases are old enough to be expunged its just a matter of money regardless cps in texas refuse to let me have my Grandaughter my cases are 19 and 7 years old. I paid back my debt to society yet they will not let me even visit my son's daughter without going to cps with the mother. I feel like Iam the one on trial here. This is breaking my heart and as soon as her Daddy hear's what has happen Im afraid for him. his daughter is what is keeping him going for these next 3 year's he gave up for a woman who doesn't care about herself let alone her children. Can anyone help guide me in the right direction to get my darling home back with me. please call a.s.a.p. Lori [protected] there is some meeting at cps on the 18th of june and court on the 28th cps forgot to tell me about. I don't have thousands for atty fee's but I do know I must have rights to my Grandbabies future her mother and father want her placed with me. I can not sleep. all I do is cry and feel so helpless someone out here has had to gone thru this simular case. all these letter's I read scare the hell out of me. Texas cps does not want to help the families with placement she is my grand baby. This is wrong and if I have to crawl to the supreme court regarding our Texas system then so be it...God have mercy on the people who are suppose to be representing the best rights for our children and their families. I truely feel sorry for them on their judgement day...
I believe that foxfire is a omplete ###.
FF, really nice apology, it was a good thing to do. Your confidence will be kept private, hope it all works out.
Classic, keep up the good fight.
I am sorry, it is a horrible situation your in. It sounds like you have done the things that is required of you, and your daughter should be return to your custody. Most court houses have legal aid services at your disposal. I would call your local courthouse, and make an appointment with them. In most states, there are legal services for parents that are low cost and or no cost. My ex was abusive, and I was able to get help through legal aid, ie the paper work, and filing a restraining order. You and your husband, may have to find a way to come up with the money to hire a lawyer. It sounds like your mother in law is a nut job, and your child will not benefit from living with her.
Abuse is never okay... If your husband ever lays a finger on you again. You need to leave, regardless of the situation. I am hoping that counseling has helped the both of you find other ways of expressing your anger. Sometimes, counseling doesn't work, or will work for a while. If your husband does drugs, drinks to much, ect. Really think if he is the person you want to be with. My ex husband got himself into drugs, and became abusive. Even when he received counseling. I was lucky in the fact that he never did it in front of our child, or my other children... My oldest son watched his dad beat the living day lights out of me many times. He is now almost seventeen, and he is in counseling for the abuse he witness as a young child. If you both are fighting violently in front of her, she can end up in an abusive relationship when she is older. My point being, that the physical violence has to end between you both. You both need to realize that your child is watching, listening to your behavior towards each other. You might think she is too young, but she is processing it. I thought my son was to young to remember the abuse. He was a toddler, and he remember it! You both need to focus on what is best for your child, and model behavior that isn't going to one day make her life dysfunctional. Kids have enough pressure nowadays to add to it. Make a commitment to stop dysfunctional behavior. If you both become angry at each other, one of you needs to leave. Use words instead of hurting each other physically. Learn effective communication skills, and use them. Make a commitment not to drink alcohol or anything that can push bottoms between the two of you.. I have notice, that alcohol when your trying to develop a healthy relationship can cause issues. Your natural filters are off, and you may say things to each other that can hurt each other... I am talking from experience!
I wish you the best, I am sure your ### in law, made things out to be worse than they are... Think of making a new start, somewhere away from your in law. She sounds destructive, vindictive, and not the type of person you want around your child. I am an optimist at heart, and with a lot of work, your husband and you can overcome your problems. It sounds like the both of you have had hardships in life. Again, abuse is never okay.. If it continues, get out of that relationship. I know there are organizations that help women in children in every state to stop the cycle of violence.
Be your own best advocate, and find the resources in your state! Look online, go to the local courthouse, and reclaim your child! If you have completed all that was required of you, than there is no reason that social services shouldn't return her to you. Get your butt on the phone to family lawyers, and learn what your rights are. Move away from your destructive in law, and start a new life. I am sorry that you are going through this, and it sounds to me like they shouldn't have taken her from your custody. My prayers and thoughts are with you!
my MIL has hated me from day one. She lives next door to my family or at least my grandparents who raised me due to my mom having drug issues. Im just guilty by association. Shes hated my family for over 15 years. shes a weirdo. Shes also treated her son like dirt. She wiped her hands clean of him when he was a baby sent him to live with his father, lied to him told him she thought hed been kidnapped but she knew and how he found out was through his grand ma and grandpa. She had left his father and remarried and had a son whom they treated much better then her first son. they made him the outcast. she doesn't even use his first name which is Sage instead she calls him Joe or joey which is from his middle name Joseph. I loath her for doing such things to him. I couldn't imagine doing that to my daughter EVER!.
My husband would prevent me from leaving the home. take my cell phone car keys and at times pin me down. I would punch and slap him to get him off of me. I am kind of weak when it comes to wrestling and stuff like that so my best bet was to inflict pain in order to get free. I hated it but i knew why he was trying to keep me from leaving. it was over petty things and we were still very fresh in our relationship. I can say with therapy we have resolved a big portion of our issues and have learned to respect the boundaries and the times we just need to be left alone to sort out what the problem is and then we come back and talk about it. We are resilient. I love him and I am more in love then I have ever been :) We have come a long way from when these issues started. I have been searching for some legal aid but am not having any luck. if there are any suggestions for Texas legal aid I would appreciate it!
Fox, I enjoyed our talks and I am glad that we could clear some things up, I am also proud of you for not only appologizing to Crystal in a private forum but also by appolgizing on a public one also.
I too get emotional on certain subjects and would like to say that I never intend to hurt anyone and sometimes my words can. I only want to try and make people see that there may be other situations that we may not know about.
I am glad that I shared my experience with you so you could see that there are different scenarios in this situation and it is not just all black and white.
oops sorry didnt mean to post to here. Im new!
I was in a case with cps due to having physical altercations with my husband and my child was in the home. Cps said she had to leave the home and so she went with my mother in law. keep in mind nothing is through the courts! they take a month to get us a worker that would work our case. Our worker gave us a list on things we needed to do, drug and alcohol assessment psychological and psychiatric evaluations (my mother in law has personal issues with me and my family so she reported i was falsely bipolar) also parenting classes and family and individual therapy. I passed the drug and alcohol assessment(i dont even do drugs) I supposedly have depression (who wouldn't when their child is torn from the family?) but I am able to handle my depression with out medication as per the psychologist. i even have a note stating i dont need meds :) we also completed parenting classes and our family therapy. the day we finished our family therapy they closed the case and refused our therapists last report. when they stopped the case cold turkey my daughter was left in limbo. My in laws wont return her to us, they are now playing cps. Cps wont return our calls not even the supervisor! im shocked these people actually are allowed to work for this state ran organization... im a bit put off by the fact they say they cared for my daughter and want to reunite us with her and here we do everything and its not good enough. now they dont give a flying ### about her. I want my child back and still am willing to walk through fire for her. the issue that was to be resolved the domestic violence has been! no problems since march 2010 my daughter left Jan 2010. We love our daughter she was never hurt or abused nor neglected despite the fights my husband and I had. We have worked out our issues and are back on the path. We realize the position weve put ourselves in and the effects that followed. why would cps just drop my daughters case like this?
oh irish sorry, didnt mean it to sound the way i did. now I know why you thought i was offended. that message was not intended for you I was lol at what you said.
I am so confused
lol, i love my job. if it were not for my job i would miss out on all this wonderful stuff. Sorry for being one way irish.
I knew I couldnt trust you alone with the stash! Dont worry though pimp daddy will hook us up! Glad FF is going away, but I do have another comment. Just want to put it out there.
I have been insulted in my life but this was the first time I have been called a "bleeding heart liberal", Ouch, get me a really big bandaid. I am not what you would call a liberal. I am sure there are issues at the OP's home, but "those of us without sin, cast the first stone", we may have different sins, but they are sins none the less and we are judged accordingly. A good point to remember FF is that we are to be judged, we are not the judges, one more scripture "That what you have done to the least of my bretheren, you have done unto me" (paraphrase). Do not forget the love and compassion, if you cannot extend it, it shall not be extended to you. ( hey, I should get my own TV minister program, I am remembering a lot of good stuff, whom was it that said alcohol and drugs dull the mind)
Tammy-have a good day and absolutely no liquid lunch today, pimp daddy has a lot of work for us!
lol Irishyou were the one that is judgemental, we are not judging you, we are just calling it like it is.
I am glad that was the last we will hear from you because frankly what you have to say doesn't really matter to me.
Irish you cant smoke your pipe unless you come get it, you left it over my house, sorry I smoked without you tho.
I am not sorry for any wrong spelling or grammar errors because obviously they piss FF off.
Tammy- no problem, I caught the humor as well as the compliment ( I also had to think it out, the context was there), I actually had a nice chuckle from you as well.I hope you had a great weekend, FF is crazy, you can tell by her airs of self importance. She admits to having friends that like her the way she is and yet in another post she calls herself a loner, well the Unibomber was a loner as well. In her own handle she implies that she is a "hot fox", but no mention of any romantic attachments. Just putting this stuff out there if you no waht I mean.
Have a good Tuesday, the "grey matter" should be back in action by then.
Please Excuse all spelling and grammar errors, I am on my third Scotch but I didnt smoke the pipe today, got to go my baby daddy calling me! JAJ (just a joke)
irish gal, I am having a monday morning brain. I am hoping that you did get the sarcasm that i was spewing towards ff, and I do think that you are Intellegent. I really enjoyed you comments towards FF. FF is and arrogant ### with no compation towards others.
Tammy- I am hurt that you do not think I posess intelligence, but I love your play on words regarding "the Fire", intelligent and ignorant, you too have been disguising that brain of yours, the"FF" needs to be concerned.
Have a really nice weekend and a lot more laughs!
I applaud you irishgal, ty for that post. I had just read it as I was ready to log out for the day and it made me laugh. Looks like foxfyre is the only "intelligent" person in here, but also the most ignorant.
Foxfyre-you have spelled your own name incorrectly, fire is the correct spelling-fyre has no meaning, it is however the name of a computer art program.
In addition to the incorrect spelling of your user name, in one of your tire some ramblings you misused the word "users", you should have used the word"abusers", in order for the reader to get the full context of your statement.
I would like you to please stop writing "I have never seen a person ask to get cancer", it is redundant as well as foolish, I have not ever heard of any person who has ever drank an alcoholic beverage for the first time state "I think I will become an alcoholic", it does not work that way, some people suffer from OCD and also have an "addictive personality", and therefore become alcoholics. People form all walks of life can get an addiction, many who are intelligent and extremely kind, it happens to the best of us.
Please also stop writing you are a "Christian", you are so far from a christian it is ridiculous, you are a hypocrite, you are no different than the Pharisee's and Scribes that were around when Jesus was on the earth, they honored God with "lip service" but their hearts were far removed from him. When Jesus was asked by his disciples "what is the greatest commandment?", He replied "First you must love God with your whole heart, and second you must love your neighbor as yourself" . I have been reading your postings and you show not the slightest bit of love nor compassion. I am not professing to be a great Christian, I have just read the Bible, one time from cover to cover, it took a long time.
Finally, stop with your psuedo intelligence, all people whom posess a high IQ are not arrogant nor condescending. Proper grammar and spelling do not make a person intelligent, it only proves that they paid attention in English class.
I apologize for any and all spelling and grammatical errors.
Well Foxfyre, i guess you do not believe that addiction is hereditary either or some people have addictive personalities and it only takes a little to get themm addicted. An addiction is not as easy as one might think to stop.
first the person has to realize that there is a problem, then they have to get help with it. It is not like they can just stop on their own.
I also do not drink alcohol, I used to party when I was younger, I thank God every day that I did not fall prey to the addiction I just decided 1 day that drinking was not for me and I saw what it did to people around me that had become alcoholics.
Foxfyre, obviously you have not heard about people that are kidnapped and drugged to keep them there after the ropes are taken off. Little kids that are drugged to get them hooked. Another thing there are many mental issues that people have that they turn to drugs to stop the pain.
Pain meds and anxiety meds if not watched carefully by the perscibing dr can become addicting, they are highly addicting. Just because aleeve worked on your pain does not mean that aleeve or any other over the counter meds would work on other people. Each person has their own pain threshold, obviously you pain was able to be controlled by aleeve.
I do have a question for you, have you ever consumed alcohol? I mean socially or just to party on the weekends?
Giving "Fred" the ultimatum took a long time, it was far from easy, and I am proud of myself for doing it, and "Fred" is in recovory, and I had every reason to have high anxiety, there was the factor of "is "Fred still alive", "Is "Fred" breaking into my place to rob me", "Is"Fred" breaking into someone elses house to rob them".
All these things "Fred" did as an addict did in no way define "Fred" as a person, this was only a shell of "Fred" my only prayers are that this time the route "Fred" is going for treatment this time works.
I agree whole heartedly
A-men to that norman.
Foxfyre you are a heartless person who obviously does not know the pain and turture that comes along with having a family member abuse drugs. Some people choose to use drugs or alcohol long before they know the dangers it causes.
I am so happy for your friends and family to have never gone through this horrible experience of watching a loved one killing themselves and I hope to God you never do it is the worst thing to go through, feeling helpless, heartbroken and fearfull. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
There are some people that have been forced into drug and alcohol abuse, this may not be the case for this particular person, but I do not know her situation.
I do know the agony in trying to make a decission to put a family member out on the streets not knowing if they will survive, I do know the feeling of guilt once my family member was giving the ultimatum and chose to leave and live on the streets, I do know the feeling of the anxiety I felt every day not knowing where my family member was and how they were doing.
Neither of us know if the poster was trying to get her daughter to get help prior to the CPS getting involved, we don't know if she was fighting herself with the choice of throwing her out of the house before CPS got involed, we do not know how long before the child was concieved that she started using. We do know she eventually go for help after CPS was involved. I know that once you are addicted it is hard to break free depending on the addiction.
There is only one that shall cast judgement and the last time I checked, you did not have your child die on the cross to save us from sin.
To youyou, I will keep you in my prayers. I have found DHS workers in our area to be overworked, underpaid and apathetic at best. They return children to dangerous situations because of a false belief that ALL children are better off with blood relatives (definitely not true) and pull children out of situations where a small amount of family education and training would be much better. I sincerely hope your grandchild is safely returned to you soon.
Foxfyre, I used to throw snotty, know-it-all ### like you out of my bar on a regular basis. Yeah, and they were always going to sue me for libel, slander, assault, defamation of character, etc. as well. However, they like you were much more ignorant of the law than they believed. As I have never seen a day in court, I believe I have experience on my side. Next time, just remember that in order to have libeled or slandered you, the comments made have to be FALSE. There isn't a judge in this land who wouldn't rule that you ARE a ### after reading your comments...even if you're a guy.
However, in this case my problem is not with your supercilious superiority, it is with your fallacy that one must be able to read and write the King's English in order to property raise a child. That's like saying that one must use Robert's Rules of Order to have a book club. That's ridiculous, if that were the case then many of us would have been better off raised by wolves...as the first member of my family to not only gain multiple college degrees but to graduate from college at all, well, I'm living proof that you're full of sh... um, fecal matter.
Oh, and by the way, I think those who speak Spanish, German, Farsi, Dutch, Portuguese, French, Greek, or any one of the numerous other languages of the world (including Cherokee, spoken by some past members of my family) would be highly offended by the idea that only those who speak English are qualified to raise children. History would prove you wrong there.
Now go ______ yourself and leave this poor woman alone. Losing a child in any manner is debilitating enough without having to put up with your crap. (Insert your favorite insulting adjective into the blank). Have a nice day! :p
http://fightcps.com/ is a good resource. They have an extreme amount of complaints on that site.
CPS/DCS is horrible in any state. They will take your kids for no reason at all.
Drug abuse tears families apart. I hope that your daughter gets the help she needs, and that your husband and yourself get custody of your grandson. I cannot even imagination the pain you must have felt when your grandchild was taken from your home. If your daughter is a drug addict, this could be the wake up call she needs to get her life together, and be a productive member of society.
I had a friend that was addicted to heroine, and she had a rocky road, but she finally was able to become clean, go to college, and now is a wonderful mom to her child. Also had a blooming career in the tax industry.
It must have been heartbreaking to have to choose between your daughter and your grandson. I think you did the right thing by having her go to a facility that can help her with her drug problem. I cannot even comprehend what you must be feeling, and my heart goes out to you.
My ex husband was involved with illegal drugs, and it changed him and he became abusive and acted crazy. For the sake of my children, I divorced him. Unfortunately with children, no matter what their age, we cannot just eject them from our lives because we love them.
My advice is get counseling for yourself, your grandchild, and your husband. Know that her addiction wasn't your fault, and, we as parents do everything we can to help our children, and at a certain age, they make their own choices. Many times to our heartache, not the best. Beating yourself up isn't the answer. Making better choices for yourself and your grandchild, and try to make his life as stable as possible. Make sure you don't give Child Protective Services any reason to take your grand child away. Encourage your daughter to comply with whatever classes, sober living environment, counseling, that she needs to do. Encourage her to live a life sober free, and help to get the counseling she needs to understand why she had drug addiction problems to begin with.
Encourage her to further her education once she is sober. If she is allowed to live with you again, make sure there is no alcohol, prescription drugs, or any kind of medication that she can use. If there is buy a safe and don't give her the combination.
Though it doesn't seem like it, having Child Protective Services, might have been the best thing to happen to your family. It may open your daughter eyes to how destructive drug use is, for herself, her child, and you as her parents. Counseling, will help co dependent habits that may have developed, and help you understand your role in her addiction. As well as overcoming it.
If your daughter comes back into the living situation, make the rules clear to her. No drug use period, or she is out of your house. No allowing her to associate with friends that are involved with drugs, and she has to have a job/ continuing her education. Sometimes being a parent is setting down the law, for the safety of you, your grandson, your husband. Dealing with people associated with harder drugs, can sometimes have really bad consequences for the family... We see it on the news everyday... Families killed by some crazed drug addicted person.
Where is the father in all of this? Is he also involved with drugs? If so, make sure he stays out of your daughter's life!
Also be aware that if she was doing drugs while pregnant your grandchild might have lasting consequences. ADHD, asthma, learning disabilities, are all apart of issues that babies might have if mom was doing drugs while pregnant. I would take him to a specialist, and make sure that he is making the appropriate bench marks as he is aging. Like walking at a year old, babbling, using small word phrases by age two... He is learning at age appropriate levels. If he isn't the younger you discover these problems the easier they are to manage, and get the additional help that he may require.
If this is the case, blaming your daughter, making her feel guilty will only compound the problem. When she becomes sober, make it a new beginning for all of you. Together as a family, handle each problem as it arrives.
Good luck to you, and may God bless your family, and help you through these trying times.
CPS and DHS are a bunch of ###s. I knew this girl in the McAllen, TX area whose mom worked for them...she confided in me that her mom used to throw her down and kick her in the guts. Psycho broad. I don't trust ANY govt agency.
Oh sorry to post again after that long winded 1.
For you you, I sympathize for you and having to make that decision between your daughter and your grandson, although you thought he was not being harmed, just seeing the stuff that happen with an addict can be very harmfull, emotionally and mentally. I know this cause I lived it and it wasn't even my mother.
I know that this was not your intentions and you thought you were keeping him safe.
I do believe that you should have custody of your grandchild as long as his mother is not in his life while using. I know it is hard to tell when someone falls off the wagon but I would go to court and fight for full custody. I would ask the judge to have your daughter do manditory drug tests before each visit once she is clean. I don't know what her drug choice is but whichever it is ist is not good for you grandson to be around it.
Good luck to you.
Foxfyre, I was going to spout off at you for your horrible comments, but as you stated is that you are not perfect. I just can not agree with your thoughts on addiction.
My little brother was a preteen when he tried a drug called heroin and I was furious with him. I told him I would beat his ### if he did it again. That didn't work. Who was I, I was on a year older then him and preteen myself. He eight at the time. (and before you go bashing my mother she thought he was in good hands at school). He was not old enough to make an adult desission. He was very good at hiding it at 1st and no one knew anything for years.
We battled for many years with his addiction, it tore the family apart. He was in and out of jail and we plead with the judge to send him to a rehab someplace that knew how to teach him how to live without and cope with it, the judge didnt listen until he about 30 & it was after his prison stay he was not put into a rehab he was put into a christian based half way house. I hope you will never feel the pain and worry that we all felt every day. We never knew if we would get that knock on the door that he had overdosed. It is not a great feeling.
It is a very hard choice to make for a parent, should I toss him out on the streets and basically leave him with nothing, or is that his only chance of hitting rock bottom. If I toss him out will he survive. My mother gave him altimatums and he chose the door every time.
He is now clean and he is 40, he has only been clean for 4 years so imagine how long this battle was for. He did have a slip up after Faith farms because he did the 1 thing that they said not to (do not get into a relationship for at least your 1st year out.
I hope with sharing this story with you lets you know that all drug addicts are not bad people. That some people get into it before they can make an educated adult decision.
Oh and FYI, God forgives people for their sins, I know I didn't have to add that in after your latest post but I am not perfect either.
Foxfyre is a self righteous ###.Book smart does not necessarily make one an intelligent person!
I'm absolutely STUNNED by the following quote: "I also have the ability to read the King's English, and you are simply pathetic."
Read? Yes...write? That is indeed questionable.
This is the same paragraph the contained this little gem: "hair follice test"
I think that perhaps fyrefox should use Firefox as your browser. It will let you know whilst you are typing when you make yest another grade school grammar, punctuation, or spelling error.
It would also help with other 6th grade spelling words like: "humilitated".
And because foxfyre is so brilliant...have a look at these:
A) The American Medical Association currently uses the word alcoholism to refer to a particular chronic primary disease.
B) "The American Society of Addiction Medicine and the American Medical Association both maintain extensive policy regarding alcoholism.The American Psychiatric Association recognizes the existence of "alcoholism" as the equivalent of alcohol dependence. The American Hospital Association, the American Public Health Association, the National Association of Social Workers, and the American College of Physicians classify "alcoholism" as a disease."
C) "In the US, the National Institutes of Health has a specific institute, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), concerned with the support and conduct of biomedical and behavioral research on the causes, consequences, treatment, and prevention of alcoholism and alcohol-related problems. It funds approximately 90 percent of all such research in the United States. The official NIAAA position is that "alcoholism is a disease. The craving that an alcoholic feels for alcohol can be as strong as the need for food or water. An alcoholic will continue to drink despite serious family, health, or legal problems. Like many other diseases, alcoholism is chronic, meaning that it lasts a person's lifetime; it usually follows a predictable course; and it has symptoms. The risk for developing alcoholism is influenced both by a person's genes and by his or her lifestyle."
Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous has a differing opinion: "We have never called alcoholism a disease because, technically speaking, it is not a disease entity. For example, there is no such thing as heart disease. Instead there are many separate heart ailments, or combination of them. It is something like that with alcoholism. Therefore we did not wish to get in wrong with the medical profession by pronouncing alcoholism a disease entity. Therefore we always called it an illness, or a malady -- a far safer term for us to use."
And please try to remember fyrefox...before posting a comment, to read one of the requested requirements as printed just below the term "Post your Comment" which states: "Please check text spelling before submitting a comment".
Foxfyre- Are you just plain ###ed or is your head to big you can't think straight anymore? Do you not understand that NOBODY gives a ### who can spell correctly or use proper grammar? Obviously you haven't got that through YOUR brain. All you do is go around here ### about people ### therefore makes you look like the dumb one. Another thing are you jealous of Brenda? Sure sounds like it, either that or someone had a REALLY bad day. In all honesty she's a lot better at grammar and sounds a whole lot smarter then you do. Obviously you haven't seen drug addition up close...if you would have then you wouldn't be talking all that ###. How do you know what this poor grandmother feels like? How do you know that she doesn't beat herself up everyday because she was co-dependent? How do you know she hasn't cried herself to sleep every night because she has to choose between her daughter and grandson? Exactly you don't! So until you can take a walk in those shoes then your argument here is pointless. It would be different if you were trying to give some advice, but your not, your being a ### headed ###. No wonder why no one on this site likes you...you were the ### in school that told the teacher who through the paper wad. Therefore NO ONE is going to have any respect for you.
More food for thought...couldn't you cmoe up with your own name rather than style bite mine?! really lame. now people are going to confuse us.
Yes, please come clean and be honest about what really happened from the very beginning. What were the circumstances surrounding your grandbaby's birth? If mom seems to have a substance abuse problem, did she have it while she was pregnant or is this something new that happened afterwards? Why is it that you appear to be the only one fighting for the baby, does mom not want the baby back too? And where is the dad? I know that loss is hard to deal with, losing your daughter to chemical dependency and now your grandson as a result of that but maybe it would be in the best interest of this baby to get a new start in life without having any bad influences around. Maybe the most unselfish thing to do would be to let this child be raised by a loving, adoptive mother and father.
why did cps become involved in the first place?