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211/crisis hotline of volusia county / rude counselors, abusive to victims, give bad advice

1 Ormond Beach, FL, United States Review updated:

211 crisis hotlines are a referral service and crisis hotline center...some of their counselors are ok...but others can be very bad. the one of volusia county, had a lady claiming that victims of abuse, who feel they are being abused, more or less its the 'perception' and that the abuse isnt really going on...really? thats interesting that these incompetent jerk so-called 'crisis counselors' are telling abused victims that theyre not really being abused and that it is only their 'perception' of the situation...they generally arent allowed to give 'advice' to people but when they do their advice is that...people really aern't being abused...its just what they perceive to be abuse...how can counselors say this to anyone- this is abuse in itself and these people saying this are being more abusive to people who are abused victims and in need of help- these hotlines employ abusers to further upset or abuse victims calling in and this isnt a crisis hotline at all- beware...

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  • Cu
      21st of Feb, 2011

    that perception of *hers* sure would upset *me*!
    I had a counselor once who said that to me and I straightened *her* out *quick*.

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  • Un
      7th of Jun, 2011

    Oh it gets much much worse than rudeness. I made the horrible mistake of calling a crisis hotline here in Texas, the result defies belief. My wife and I have always had a turbulent relationship, yet at the core we both love each other very much and are absolutely commited to working together for the rest of our lives. However, a major source of strain and stress is the health of our daughter, who is 3 years old, and the mental health of her son, who is 9. Long story short, her son has been damaged from her previous relationship, and acts out constantly. While we do our best to be the patient, kind people we basically are, it becomes increasingly difficult to do so when we receive notes, phone calls, and negative reports from school on a daily basis. Our daughter is special needs, and we have been repeatedly told that we must prepare ourselves for her death, though her exact condition remains a mystery even with the attention of a large and diverse group of specialists. As you can imagine, these are both incredibly stressful issues, and coupled with the normal strains of any marriage I sometimes marvel at my wifes strength, love, and passion for her family. Unfortunately, stress and strain build over time, and eventually like all pressure must explode when theyreache a certain point. This is exactly what happened, as for a period of time I noticed my wife becoming more and more frazzled and much more prone to explode over any issue, real or not, small or large. This culminated in a huge fight one night, which ended with my wife leaving to let off some steam, and making the comment "Jesus, you make me want to off myself sometimes." Now, anyone who has been married for any period of time knows that sometimes things are said that are not meant, but given the circumstances I was concerned and called the crisis hotline, not for intervention but for guidance on where I could get some therapy inexpensively as money has been very tight. After explaining my situation, I was assaulted with a barrage of leading and loaded questions, and was asked repeatedly for my address so they could send the police. I explained that such was completely un-nessesary, that we were in absolutely in no danger, and that perhaps I had called the wrong number, could she please direct me to the correct one? Then the mongoloid peon transfered me to the meanest nurse ever, who explained that the police had been dispatched to the wrong address (those poor people, this was at 2am) and that I was a liar and wasting her time, if I didnt want help why did I call? I explained that I intentionally never gave my address, if your going to look me up and send them without my consent then you are A) deceitful, and B) (and even worse) Incompentent, neither of which I can be blamed for. I explained that my wife was no danger to our children, the idea itself was ludicrous, to which the harpy asked me "How would you know?" Well, perhaps because I have been married to her for 5 years was my reply, and I again explained that I had called the wrong place, as I was looking for guidance, not the friggin A-Team to rescue me and the kids. Unbeknownst to me, of her own volition, my wife called the same people, and being the trusting person she is gave them our address, thinking they would mail her some info. Next thing we know, we have police in our home, scaring our son, with some low grade ### rudely interrogating my wife. I thought it was over, but the next day I was called from work as child protective services initiated an investigation on us, and until it is over, I must remain home as my wife IS NO LONGER ALLOWED TO BE UNSUPERVISED WITH THE CHILDREN SHE WOULD RATHER DIE THAN ALLOW ANY HARM TO COME TO. Any progress our children have made is DIRECTLY due to the extreme passion and dedication she has given them, everything she has she gives to them, and leaves nothing for herself. We were told it would be at least a month in which I would be stuck here, not working. Even worse, we had thought about someday adopting a child if our situation calmed down enough to merit it, now that can never be. All our therapists for our daughter have been interrogated, our reputation is destroyed, and our hopes of adoption crushed. Thank God we arent actually suicidal, I dont think after calling them we would have been able to stop ourselves if we were. These people are a menace, and have destroyed our lives for the time being. BEWARE, if you do not actually have a crisis, they will be happy to provide one for you at no charge, though it will cost you everything else.

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  • Da
      15th of Jun, 2011

    Wow...unbelievableinTex...CAVEAT EMPTOR!

    I came here looking for some validation of my experience with crisis counselors. This is the only complaint site I found. There must be others...albeit rare. It seems that they want to make people think that they are so helpful. I have been going through rough times and have used crisis hotlines several times. I must say though, I have never experienced anything quite that bad...unbelievableinTex...although bad enough. But your story validates my experiences regarding trying to get help from a bureaucracy. What is that about? Maybe it should be called bureau-crazy? It's true that you are usually asking for trouble when you go there. I believe it is a distinct lack of intelligence, empathy, and compassion.

    I am so sorry for what happened to your family, unbelievableinTex, because you tried to reach out for help.

    I want to thank you for posting because you have validated for me that I am not alone in my experience.

    Today I was speaking with a counselor from the crisis hotline. At first she seemed alright...not great...but not terrible. As I was pouring my heart out to her...she was suddenly gone! She just disconnected me! This is not the first time I have had this happen from a crisis counselor!!! When someone is having a crisis or is at the very least depressed...isn't that one of the worst things you can do? I called back twice only to get a machine. These people should not be working in this field. It is bad enough when you are pouring your heart out and suddenly they tell you that they have to hang up now...but you can call back anytime because they are there 24/7. Call back so I can waste my time going through the same story only to have someone else cut me off again...without any resolution or relief? Just treat people like they are cartoon characters. I realize they cannot stay on the phone with you forever...but isn't there a better way to end the conversation? Can't they wind it down instead of so being coldly abrupt? Obviously they have no idea how frustrating that is. It leaves you feeling totally abandoned and you think now what? You end feeling as bad or worse then when you called. Thank God for xanax.

    My other pet peeve is their training. They are trained to mirror anything you say. So if you tell them some horrible story...their response is...oh that must make you feel bad. What? No I feel great...that's why I called you...you ninny. I will ask counselors not to do that to me when they begin that stupidity. What a cold world. What's wrong with being real? If I wanted to talk to a robot you would be it. It is so frustrating and impersonal. Do psychologists really believe that this is the best way to handle a person in a crisis? One day I hope they realize how barbaric that kind of inattention is to someone who is hurting. When you are in emotional pain, devastating enough to make you reach out to a crisis hotline...what you need is another human being to connect with. Just throwing back at you the thing you just said is useless. I can have that kind of conversation with a chair! How about making a person feel validated? Sometimes I really think these counselors actually do make people commit suicide after a session like that. Again, it is an abandonment of your humanity. I hope if enough people complain, they will find a better solution. What about being real? How about validating the person's pain like you hear them? Not like... oh that must feel bad. It makes an idiot out of you. How is it supposed to feel?

    I even once had a counselor call the police on me to my shock and horror. They get your address from your number or trace the call. And to my shock and horror it was the first, and only time, the couselor called the police on me...unbeknownst to me. They actually, against my will, took me to a psyche ward at a hospital!!! I did not say that I was going to commit suicide. Fortunately after being interviewed by a doctor and a couple of nurses they did not keep me there. But it made me feel worse and it really messed me up. It took hours before I could go home. It is, as I'm sure you know, such a betrayal of trust.

    You may wonder why I even bother to ever call them again. I will tell you. Sometimes I feel so bad, alone, abandoned, if I don't reach out...I just cannot take the pain. So...on the rare chance... that I do get someone who is real with me...that is so great when I am so alone and there is a deep dark chasm. However, for the most part, they are cold and insipid.

    So if there are any crisis hotline people brave enough to read these critiques, please try and find a better, kinder way to treat people in pain. We need people to talk naturally and be real with us. Our world is already feeling surreal. When we call in for a reality check, please don't make us feel "more" out of touch. Talk to us like we are real people who hurt...just like you. What would you want if you needed to reach out?

    And unbelievableinTex...I hope things will eventually improve for you ( nothing stays the same) and I hope that you can soon put the nonsense behind you. My heart goes out to you.

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  • Ma
      27th of Sep, 2012

    wow that is crazy!!! YES they just want to HURT people not help them...they will say the firs tthing "ARE YOU SUICIDAL"???? so they can TRY to send cops there...its horrid..they really want to destroy people I think...not help them at all...what a sick thing...how shocking...they did the same ot me once-- BEGGED for my address...i had the cops calling me asking for my address...i said NO...they went to another address..wtf???? i just wanted ADVICE??? they dont give advice...they either abuse people or destroy their lives or abuse them...sick people...this is crazy sadistic...

    also the couneslors just sit there and listen and dont say a word-- they dont show ANY empathy...i work in customer service..we HAVe to show customers empathy and say "oh im sorry about that"...they dont even say THAT??? they say NOTHING except "OK so you want a cousenlor...or you need a counselor"...they are RUDE...they dont even mirror when i call in-- they are just cruel mean pathetic and disturbing... these people really do want people to commit suicide I think...and its to those desperate people who feel alone and NEED to talk to someone...they can't even say "oh im sorry youre going through that"...NOTHING...they say nothing show nothing...cold sick monsters...i even called to ask to talk to a supervisor and the SUPERVISOR was cruel to me...i said your counselors show NO empathy??? this isn't right...she said HOW CAN "I" HELP YOU???? i said i was calling to complain...she said "i'll make a NOTE that that's how you FEEL"...now...HOW CAN "I" HELP YOU???? i said...wtf??? then she began yelling at me and i hung up-- crayz sick disturbed people...theyre not crisis counselors they are psychopaths wanting ot destroy people...wha ta horrible planet this is with sick people...

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  • Dj
      2nd of Sep, 2016

    My boyfriend died in July (it's the beginning of September). Id gone on a date for the first time since (we hadn't been together that long, I'm in a new city, and I thought I was ready), and afterward I felt so empty and stupid, and all I could think about was how rare and special my now-deceased partner was; I'm never going to find that again. I called the Samaritans. I wanted to speak with a woman, but none was available. They redirected me to 211. I didn't even know what 211 does (I hung up on it because I thought it would send the cops to my house). I called back and forth from the Samaritans to 211. Someone hung up on me when I told her she was being unempathetic. Someone told me I just had to keep going on dates and not look for "the one, " which it "seemed like" I was doing (this person hadn't talked to me for three minutes). He didn't even say, "I'm sorry for your loss." One woman told me to take a bath or drink hot cocoa. Seriously? Lady, I'm dealing with death here, not a bad day at work. Then she accused me of being rude (I told her she was being dismissive (I'm sorry, but feeling aren't always polite; you signed up to do this, and it means dealing with people at their lowest points). It was ridiculous. I finally said, "I'm giving up. This isn't helpful, " and she hung up. For all she knows, I'm dead.

    I've also had the "It must be hard [repeat thing I just said]." Yeah, idiot, I know; that's why I [censored]ing called you.

    These people are untrained, completely lacking in empathy (they answer the phone like they're a dentist's office), and ridiculous. I can't believe this is what passes for healthcare. I got here by Googling "File a complaint against 211 crisis hotline." This was the only viable result. Seriously?

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