Ladies Beware! This is very serious and will affect the rest of your lives if you don’t take heed!
Especially those of you who are single with children, looking for that special person to sweep you off your feet and help you take care of your children. I don’t think that person exists anymore! As a matter of fact, I don’t think he/she ever existed!
I’m going to tell you a story and it’s up to you to believe it or not, but every bit of these accounts are true. And please, try not to judge, because you don’t know until the shoe is on your foot!
I have always believed in equal opportunity for anyone who comes to this country to better their lives and that of their families, but, not at the expense of others.
I am an African American US citizen who raised 2 beautiful girls as a single parent for a few years until I met him….
Sherman Dedier (aka, Coffi, Duspy, Junior), a native of Trinidad & Tobago, and I met some 17 years ago. Funny, I had no interest in meeting another guy, but at the coaxing of my girlfriend, I decided to find out what he had to say.
From there it took off, I dated him and dated others. But found something that I thought was sincere, in Sherman. He was just an average looking guy who had this charm about him. He knew how to relate to the older generation and always seemed to be mindful of others and enjoyed being around family and for that reason, I decided to take the relationship further. Sherman literally had nothing coming into the relationship, he just odd jobs on the side. I on the other hand, worked as a Senior Secretary to a well known banking firm in the Wall Street area, but I still struggled to raise both my daughters. Sherman and I dated for about 5 years, before getting married. I still wasn’t sure of his agenda, but it seemed as if he intended to go nowhere, so we decided to get married and, I thought, move onto bigger and better things.
We filed for Sherman’s permanent residency in NYC, which he received in 06/17/2003. After his permanent residency, our relationship dwindled. He rarely spent any time home, except for in the evening to sleep, and he tried to spend the night out a few times, but of course, he had the ultimatum of either being at home or wherever he wanted to spend the night. We discussed relocation to the state of Virginia to live a better life. I moved down ahead of Sherman as agreed between the two of us. I got 2 part-time jobs and a one bedroom apartment with Sherman’s name on the lease. We also discussed that I would circulate his resume for a job when he was ready to make the transition, I thought would be a short time after. He came down 3 times to move some of my personal items, but no more after that. I had the worst time trying to get him to renew his medical insurance with me as a spouse, because I had none when I relocated. Sherman never moved down. All he said was “don’t worry, I’ll be there, don’t panic”. So I started to investigate what was going on. After I asked him to give me an exact date when he would make his transition, he told me to wait another year. No reason, just wait another year for him to come down. In, 2006, after careful investigation of phone records and speaking with several individuals, including his mistress, it confirmed my suspicions, that Sherman was living a double life.
All I’m saying is, get as much information on the person of interest as you possibly can, starting with his/her place of birth, if he is living under assumed names (aliases). Find out as much about his family as you possibly can and pay special attention to his friends (including the ones from his childhood) because the odds are that he will stay in contact with them and this is key to how he operates. Pay close attention to all of the signs. If something doesn’t smell, look or feel right to you, act on it right away, don’t wait and you know something is wrong, like I did.
The signs were there for me, but I didn’t act on them. I just kept making a mental note of everything strange, admonishing Sherman many times, of things to come or if things didn’t feel right to me.
Sherman now has his green card
Sherman has a longstanding career with good benefits.
Sherman has a 4 year old US born Trinidadian child.
Sherman has an illegal immigrant mistress from his hometown, Trinidad, who, I’m sure will soon be his wife.
Sherman now has taken over the lease to the apartment we lived in some 10 years ago.
ALL AT MY EXPENSE!
You see, the longer it took for him to come clean with me, he was able to transfer his accounts over to his son’s name, as a custodian, and prepare for his future with his new mistress, before I could put together the pieces to the puzzle. I was duped, my family was duped and even my mother is in shock at what has happened. Infidelity hurts, but the magnitude in which he went to defraud me is really what hurts the most. The premeditation, the sneaking around, the dishonesty, the extreme lack of communication on his part. He knew all along that he wasn’t going to spend his life with me. The thing is, he could have left when the mistress became pregnant, but he wouldn’t because it would jeopardize his chance of not getting his permanent residency and it also allowed him enough time to supposedly “secure” all his assets.
YOU SEE, HIS PLAN WORKED!
Now, you can say “oh, she’s stupid for letting it happen, or “how could she have been married to this person for so long and not left him”, or even, “If I were you, I would have…” but please, sometimes you just don’t know what you will do until you are left in a situation such as this. It’s not that cut and dry, especially when you are raising a family.
I hate to say this, but, be wary of men from other countries, especially caribbean men who are not legal citizens looking to get into relationships with US Citizens.
This has changed my life completely. Of the many challenges I have had to face in my life, and I have had many, this is one of the most challenging. The result of this is that I am now undergoing counseling, because of the devastation this has caused me. The more I researched, the more in shock, angry, hurt and frustrated, I became.
The lawyers don’t care about Citizens, they are out to help immigrants. I had one lawyer tell me to just “chuck the marriage up as a loss”, asking me if I have anything to provide proof that this was a fraudulent marriage, oh, and “get the divorce and move on with your life”. Like it is that simple. How do you put your trust into someone again, without having to question every little thing that your husband does? Why would you want to live like that for that matter? What do you say when you are confronted by a man, albeit American or otherwise, without asking the question, what’s his agenda? You can’t believe the amount of frustration you get when it seems like you are alone.
In the beginning, I was too embarrassed to discuss the situation with anyone, even a lawyer, my family and friends. I have never suffered with anxiety attacks and thanks to Sherman Dedier, this is apart of my everyday life. My sleeping patterns have changed where I awake 3:00 in the morning. But he doesn’t care. Sherman and others feel that this is what we deserve for whatever their reason? Any excuse to do the wrong that they are doing to make what the do seem legit.
This was like a game to Sherman, his brother and others (sue me for slander would you). How do they sleep at night knowing that they had someone elses life in their hands and caused such emotional distress to that person and their family members? How do you bring a child into this world knowing that you will have to pay your debtor (God) for what you have done to another? How could someone do this or anything to hurt another individual? I just don’t understand? This world is evil, and is getting worst by the minute. So I keep praying that there are no more victims like me, but I find that marriage fraud is rampant, even in Canada.
To those of you who I know that are of carribean decent, please note that I love you as my own sister, brother, son, daughter, niece or nephew. This in no way is a direct attack on you. This message is to inform others of those who willingly and knowingly take advantage of others for their own personal gain. The crooks, the fakes, the frauds! Because believe it or not, Sherman is a crook!
You see, even though I knew there were red flags, I still loved Sherman because I truly believed that he was the other half of me and, I knew he wasn’t perfect, like me, and that there was room for change, like I did. There was nothing I would do to knowingly cause him harm.
My trust, self esteem, dignity have been practically stripped from me! Lord, I don’t want this for my children or grandchildren! I don’t want them to look at me and see sadness. I don’t want them to look at me and see lack of self. I don’t want them to look at me and see despair!
Below is information on how to gain Permanent Residency upon Marriage
Conditional resident status is conferred on an alien to a United States citizen or a lawful permanent resident in a marriage deemed bona fide although less than two years old. The status is conditional for another two years. If the marriage is more than two years old at the time of application for status, the alien can be approved for lawful permanent status without any condition.
Some aliens already in the U.S. may use an approved immigrant visa petition to gain permanent resident status through adjustment inside the U.S. The INS will interview the couple to determine the bona fides of the marriage. This status, however acquired, is a very important step for any alien seeking to remain in this country.
Conditional resident status becomes permanent after the second anniversary of conditional resident status if the alien and the petitioning spouse jointly file a I-751 petition signed by both parties. This is filed within ninety days of the second anniversary of the granting of conditional resident alien status. Thereafter, they are interviewed by an INS examiner to see if their marriage is legitimate.
If an I-751 joint petition cannot be filed, the conditional resident alien may request a waiver based on one or more of the following grounds: extreme hardship if deported, termination of a good faith marriage, or battered spouse or child ground.
The good faith waiver requires that the qualifying marriage was entered into in good faith by the alien spouse, the alien was not at fault in failing to meet the requirement of filing the joint petition, and the qualifying marriage was terminated other than through the death of the petitioning spouse. The battered spouse or child waiver must show that during the marriage the alien spouse or child was battered by or was the victim of extreme mental cruelty by the U.S. citizen or permanent resident spouse or parent. The waiver for a battered spouse does not require that the qualifying marriage be terminated.
I’m finally beginning legal proceedings on my own, because I figured I could wait on Sherman to provide me with the funds for the divorce, which hasn’t happened, because of his “no money” excuses- all a lie! It’s hard trying to live the life of 2 or three different people, don’t you think? He continues to lavish his mistress and son with money instead of paying for my divorce, but it’s okay, the divorce and civil suit are on me for now, at Sherman’s expense!
Anyone interested in having me speak on this topic, please feel free to contact me via the email address.
For those few of you who believe in God, pray for me as I will for you,
I find that there are people in positions, not for the benefit of others, but for their benefit only. Look out!
I’m even investigating further, because I think that it looks like a family members married each other. Like the Brother in law married the sister of the sister in law. Isn’t that something. Keep it in the blood line. Oh my! What a mess!
Grace and Peace |
129 days ago by Jora [