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Cultural Care Au Pair / International Care review: Au Pair's Side of the Story III 5

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7:26 pm EST
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So, I was matched again and left to California just to find myself in another NIGHTMARE.
The family at first seemed very, very nice but I was already so scared of everything that I was "prepared" for trouble. And, unfortunately, the trouble was there. The family decided to MOVE and told me that 2 weeks after my arrival. They moved to a middle-of-nowhere! I swear, never in my life I could imagine to live in such a place. There were no stores nearby, the closest au pair group was 1, 5 hour away and I was just stuck there. The family showed their real face soon: there would be no food in the house sometimes, I couldn't make the bottle for the baby sometimes, few times there were no diapers, I worked totally OVER 45 hours a week. Again, like in the first family it would be from 7, 30am-7:30pm and sometimes even til 9PM! Somtimes they would come home on Friday night and just tell me that they are going to the concert and they would come back at 2-3 am which means I was resposible for the kids almost 24 hrs. The kids' room was right next to mine and the parent's room was in the separate part of the house so when the baby was crying during the night they would be too lazy to come and get her so I would do because I loved the baby and I felt bad if she was crying and no one wanted to take her. I couldn't understand why those people have kids?!?! I had to ask them to take to the nearest pharmacy to buy the stuff for my personal needs. The parents were arguing really often and once there was a physical abuse. Since I really wanted to extend my year and travel some more and was hoping to find a better family, a nice family in my extended year, I had to stay with that HORROR family for 6 months! For 6months I lived in isolation, with no friends, witnessing the violence, working all day long, and sometimes they would not pay me for 3 weeks in a row. So, I finally got a GREAT FAMILY. In my extended year(6months) I had an awesome family and I was finally experiencing something positive in this country. After 6 months(unfortunately I was afraid to extend for longer due to my HORRIBLE experience) I went back home to spend time with my family and friends, and then decided to come back as a student. My last host family is still in program and have new au pair, but I am still in touch with them and visit them often because they're important part of my life. I can say that this story has a happy ending but the toll it took I will never forget! NEVER!

So, please, consider that absolutely EVERYTHING has a flip-side of the story. I was really disgusted with one person's comment here saying that "all of them (au pairs) are here to run after your husbands". Well, dear lady, you don't even know how many of my au pair friends experienced UNPLEASANT situations with their host dads, inwhich the host dad was hitting on them, so please don't generalize! There are both out there: promiscuous girls and perv husbands. The reason why I wrote all of this so detaily is that I was really sick of au pairs being presented as: UNABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS, UNABLE TO SPEAK ENGLISH, UNABLE, UNABLE, UNABLE...There are families unable to understand that they didn't get a personal slave for 8, 000$ and also: there is a very good reason why families choose au pair agency- an au pair is paid 4$ per hour while a nanny is paid 10-15$ per hour so, that's about it. And, another thing: Hiring someone who is taking care of your kids is always a risky thing because you never know what is going on once they are alone with your kids. Not even the best screening process can provide you with that kind of guarantee. Good luck to everyone.

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5 comments
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compl host families
, AR
Mar 04, 2015 2:25 pm EST

I went to mallorca as an Au pair. It was the most horrible experience ever. They had told me we were going to stay in Palma de Mallorca, an amazing city, full of young people and things to do. Instead, when we got there I ended up staying in Mancor de la Vall ( the worst and most boring town in the middle of nowhere.). I like quiet places and peace, but they had said Palma and never mentioned this town. There were no stores, I had to bike to the next town to get anything and almost cried when I found myself at night listening to the shep no one ever mentioned.
Not only the place was a complete nightmare, with absolutely no one in the town. There were just old people and kids. But also, my host mom was and the host dad hitted on me. They were disgusting people and they psycologically abused of me with everything they did. There was a night I was so scared I ended up sleeping in the bath tub and days in which I had panic attacks. It was my first and definately last Au Pair experience. I ended up leaving after 3 months, I would have left earlier but I didn't have the money to change the flight and felt it was ungrateful of me to expect my parents to pay my flight and leave after two weeks. It was the most horrible and dark experience I ever had. The mom was always treating me as if I wanted to steal her hushband (being that he was a decrepit old man of 46 and I was CLEARLY not going to be interested.
To sum up, I really think people should plan the things better. You want to have kids and a family? Then don't just have sex, think as well if you've got the time and money to take care of it. The idea that someone has to come to your house and raise your kids is embarrasing. Do you call yourself a mother? Then do your job, don't pay for someone else to do it. Your kids will be raised healthier if they have the basic, which is their mother. If you cannot take care of them use a ###ing condom.

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olivia007
Lantana, US
Apr 17, 2011 12:51 am EDT

Well I went with an au pair as well and at first all seemed great. I treated her like she was my own daughter. Gave her a cell phone, car, laptop, beautiful bedroom King sized bed, TV 32 inch, Bathroom/shower. Gave her calling cards to call Brazil thats where she was from. Bought her all the food she needed and wanted. Took her out to all the resteraunts, brought her carry out anytime I bought myself something. Treated her like a queen. Never worked her mor than 40 hours although it was allowed 45. I thought all was well then one day 2 and a half months in the US she says she wants out, she is unhappy in America and suburbia. I felt used, betrayed and awful. And she left. So I bent over backwards to welcome her and make her feel at home I gave her more than anyone has given me when I used to babysit as a young adult. These girls most not all are not worth it. To come into another country and not like it for 2 months just because. I shelled out all that money $8000.00 And will get no refund. Nightmare

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Kate808
Norwalk, US
Feb 05, 2011 1:41 pm EST

I feel horrible for you. So sorry your experience was so bad!

I am a host mom, I have 3 kids. I had an au pair for a year who left last month. She was great, and the kids and I loved her very much. We were very sad to see her go. She often worked over 45 hours but only if she chose to do so and I always paid her $10/hr extra.

I just got a new au pair and she is a disaster. She told me doesn't "like" my twins (they are 2 1/2 years old)! How can you dislike a baby? She also doesn't like our dog. She knew that I had young kids and a dog before she came. She says, with a shrug, well I took a chance. She should NOT be an au pair. She has no idea how to take care of children and is here just to party and learn English. She leaves garbage on the counters and the kids are dirty. I don't think she should be placed in another home, even the LCC is appalled at her explanations of why it didn't work. I refuse to give her a recommendation for another home. And talking to her is a joke, she cannot speak English well enough for this job. Its like playing charades.

Basically, this is a crap shoot. You can have a great experience or a lousy one, depends on the family and the au pair. Good luck!

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dorinab
, NL
May 12, 2010 6:13 am EDT

I have to say that I went as an Au Pair with what was back then EF Au Pair (now Cultural Care) and I did have a very good experience in a very good family. Of course sometimes we had issues, but nothing like what was described before. My family was honest and open. So, when we did have problems, it was no problem to sit around the table together and figure out a solution. Also, although my LCC changed during the year, I felt well prepared and taken care of by the Au Pair organization. I know that there are a lot of horrible stories out there. BUT it should not be forgotten that there are a lot of great Au Pairs out there who become victims of horrible families and that at the same time there are a lot of great families who fall victim to horrible Au Pairs. I would still recommend Au Pairs as I experienced many good things, plus once I have children I definitely consider having an Au Pair. The point is that it must be a respectful and loving win-win situation for both, the family and the Au Pair!

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audreyaudrey
, US
Jan 31, 2010 12:01 am EST

i was an au pair too my host parents were "attorneys" both of them they were supposed to be educated, but they were the most stupid, stingy, mean evil people you could find the host dad thought he could tell me who to date and when to go on a date, the host mum thought i wanted her husband all the time.
they starved me overworked me undepaid me insulted me undemined me and invaded my privacy all the time
not tho mention they snooped around in my room all the time
and told me once strait in my face not to touch any food in their fridge, thats when i met a boy who fed me i fell in love with him cos he cared for me, now we married
my second host family was just as mean and stupid
they overworked me and never paid me the host dad walked into my shower while i was stalk naked and my area rep who was "taun HALL" at the time didnt ever do her job
so yes my host parents SHAUNESE GUION DAVIS AND JAMES DAVIS
and CARMEN AND RAYARD THOMAS were pathetic to me

and CULTURAL CARE AU PAIR sucks!
they bring us into the country with false hope paying us 4$ an hour to starve and be mistreated
and abused by these crazy american men!

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