My Christmas present to all of you. This post is strictly for parody, satire and humor. All content herein should be treated as such. Names may or may not have been changed to protect the innocent (or guilty). Feel free to laugh... or to imagine that it will some day be true.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the store,
Joe & Wally weren't stirring, they had started to snore,
The Hummer was parked by the pool shells with care,
In hopes that more customers soon would be there,
The criminals nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of stolen cash danced in their heads,
And Danny (and others), who knows where they are?
Maybe they sleep in the back of the car,
When out in the parking lot, a huge loud noise, WHAM,
Joe sprang from the bed, always ready to scam,
Wally sprang into action, dusting off old handrails,
Joe threw open the door and said "It's the sale of sales!",
Then the car door did open, and out with a flash,
stepped a dumb-looking customer, his coat stocked with cash,
As he walked through the door, past the dark garage bays,
he said "I hear you install pools in 1 to 5 days",
Joe jumped up and said "Now forget all the rest,
We only sell ...er um... LEISURE pools 'cause they are the best,
They look really awesome, and it's a good bet,
That you might even get one, cause they don't know us (yet)"
Well the customer smiled and he nodded and grinned,
and he brought out the cash and then faster than wind,
Joe and Wally pulled all of the cash from his coat,
and then started to sing and to dance and to gloat,
"Now JACKSON! now, HAMILTON, now BEN FRANKLIN WHOOOOO!,
on LINCOLN! and, WASHINGTON! we like you guys too,
Who's that on the fifty, is it ULYSSES GRANT?",
Then they started to drool, and they started to pant,
Wally said to the customer, "Now here you go,
sign this contract, it protects your money, you know!"
So the customer signed at the bottom, quite smart!
and he said, "Thanks a lot, guys! When can you start?"
Well then Joe looked to Wally, and Wally to Joe,
and then Wally stood up and said "Away you go!
We'll call you next week, or the week after that,
I'm sure that we'll call you, don't forget your hat!"
The customer drove out, honked his horn with a Beep!,
Waking Danny (and others), who were still sound asleep,
Danny ran in the store, and said "What happened....WHAT?
You guys know that I still deserve quite a cut!"
The first month goes by quickly, then another, then three,
Joe looks outside one day, and what does he see?
That dumb customer drives up, and his friends drive up too,
and they're all driving cars, flashing lights, red and blue,
Joe runs and gets Wally and says, "It's a raid!",
and they run out the back door, and then get pepper-sprayed,
'cause the cops thought ahead, and they're really quite smart,
and they could have just shot them, but they have a heart,
Now they cuff Joe and Wally, and man, they are sights!
and the dumb customer's right there, and he's reading their rights, he says "Well Joe, it's nice that you thought you were King, but I'm a cop undercover, and this was a STING!"
He sprang to his car, and they drove to H-Q,
Where they booked Joe and Wally (they got Danny too),
then the trial came next, (that's the way justice works),
"Innocent 'till proven guilty", even for these jerks. |
156 days ago by Anonymous Person [
156 days ago by Randy Tattersall [